By Kevin Mahadeo in
Daily Lists
Wednesday, Mar. 10 2010 @ 8:04AM
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Vampires drink blood. Human blood, specifically. They don't get to just drink animal blood, go on their hunky dory way without any type of drawback and then make idiotic jokes about being "vegetarians." Vampires stay out of the sunlight lest they burst into flames. They certainly do not sparkle as though somebody blasted them with a shotgun full of rhinestones. Those are called pixies. And as for vampire baseball... fuck you, Meyer. The vampires on this list certainly do not represent the cream of the crop themselves. However, despite their relative lameness they still kick the shit out of Twilight's sorry excuse for the bloodsucking undead. 9) Louis de Pointe du Lac, Interview with the Vampire
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8) Marko, The Lost Boys
Lost Boys easily ranks as one of the greatest vampire films of all time, featuring some of the most hardcore and badass bloodsuckers ever. These bastards flew, tore people's heads off, lived in an underground hotel and spent their spare time riding motorcycles and jumping off cliffs. They also die in the most graphic and gorily amazing ways possible. Which bring us to Marko. Dubbed "the little one" (alternatively "isn't that the guy from Bill & Ted who wasn't Keanu Reeves") Marko got the short end of the stake by biting the dust before the film's big ending showdown. It's pretty lame when the first guy to die is your vampire claim to fame, but at least he went out with a freaking bang -- screaming in agony and spewing blood all over the fucking place. We can only assume that when a vampire bites it in Twilight they just burst into a cloud of puppies and rainbows.
7) Eric, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac
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6) Dracula, Dracula Dead and Loving It
Back when parodies played out like actual comedies and not just a series of randomly strung together events and vague references that attempt to pass themselves off as jokes, director Mel Brooks ruled the cinematic world. Although Dead and Loving It ranked on the lower end of Brooks' cinematic masterpieces, Leslie Nielsen's clumsy and cynical Dracula brought a decent level of comedy to the character while staying true to the classic count's killer nature and women-seducing ways. The only laughs you get out of Twilight are retardedly ridiculous lines like, "I didn't feel like mentioning that my stomach was already full -- of butterflies." Good lord. How do even type that shit with a straight face?
5) Van-pires, Van-Pires
Exactly like it sounds. They're vampire cars that drink gasoline instead of blood. Wait, lame? Who are we kidding, this idea sounds freaking awesome in the most psychotically bazonkers way possible. If Twilight substituted a vampire car for Edward, as opposed the current characterless brick featured in the book, we'd watch the shit out of that. Throw in a werewolf dune buggy and we're looking at literary gold.
4) Count Chocula
Introduced by General Mills in 1971, Count Chocula looks more like a dude with a really bad and freaky looking case of buckteeth than a blood-drinking ghoul. Rather than going to a dentist, the entrepreneurial count decided to commit to the part and dressed himself like an earth-toned version of Bela Lugosi. And since he enjoys chocolate more than blood, he launched his own cereal line and provides kids everywhere with chocolately marshmellowly goodness. There's also his buddies Frankenberry and Boo Berry, but fuck those guys.
3) Count Duckula, Count Duckula
As you'd expect from his name, Count Duckula is a vampire duck hailing from a reality filled with anthropomorphic avian citizens. Think Duckberg, but British. He's also an actual vegetarian vampire. That's right, he consumes veggies rather than blood. Duckula actually hails from a long line of "vicious vampire ducks," but during his most recent resurrection, one of his servants accidentally substituted ketchup for blood. This led to Duckula resenting his vampire ways, instead spending most of his time trying to gain fortune and fame as an entertainer. As ridiculous as the reason may be, at least we know why Duckula's a crazed vegetarian. Twilight's reason is that they're being "good vampires." No, Twilight, that's just being a shitty vampire.
2) Bunnicula, Bunnicula
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1) Count von Count, Sesame Street
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Case closed.
140 comments
Comments
RunnerX13 said:
Haha, this is great!
Big 10 Inch replied to RunnerX13:
A botched vampire feeding = http://bit.ly/2c7jGQ
cgaussie said:
Double points for letting Count Von Count take first place. And triple for listing 'Ducky-Boos' too. God I loved that show as a kid.
Scribble said:
Count von Count is about a million different kinds of AWESOME. He's not lame!
Seriously, this is a fun list. Glad to see Bunnicula on it!
Menshevixen said:
Bunnicula is amazing. I was obsessed with those books as a kid.
Also. COUNT DUCKULA.
Theda said:
Yea! Finally I can prove to all my friends I'm not making Count Duckula up. No one else seems to remember that show.
Scortia replied to Theda:
Haha same here! I vaguely remembered seeing it on Nickelodeon and none of my friends believed it was real til I found a video. Somehow, they all forgot Roundhouse as well. That one was quite forgettable though.
TrapJaw replied to Scortia:
I still can't convince my friends that Count Duckula (and Danger Mouse) not only existed, but kicked ass as well.
clashcty replied to TrapJaw:
Danger Mouse was much fun!
YamiEridani replied to clashcty:
Yay Danger Mouse!....I don't remember Count Duckula having his own show though.
jun10 replied to YamiEridani:
Ask any Mexican in their mid-twenties about "Conde Pátula"
http://www.amazon.com/El-Conde-Patula-Temporada-Completa/dp/B0017RN5NO/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1268287318&sr=8-2
Squeek replied to YamiEridani:
Oh...Yes, Count Duckula was amazing...I think my Mum got sick and tired of hearing the theme song after a while...
Colby replied to YamiEridani:
Musicians love Danger Mouse! Why can't he work on all the albums, honestly?
Ryan replied to TrapJaw:
Vincent Price voiced the narrator for Duckula.
ZADL said:
Eric the Vampire! YES! Oh, I so loved JTHM back in the day! Awesome list. Full props. Though the Van-Pires make me weep for humanity.
Rocco said:
Count von Count is not lame.
Deafula should have been on the list.. He's from a movie about a deaf vampire, where the entire movie is in sign language.. He is all kinds of lame. Still cooler then Edward though.
brittany comegna replied to Rocco:
i love you forever.
i didnt know deafula existed. and im deaf.
youtubing deafula now.
Julius Gryphon said:
How about George Hamilton (Love at First Bite)? He managed to epitomize cool while being utterly lame. Yes, he was the most tanned vampire the world has ever seen but at least he didn't sparkle. And, he could still kick Edward's ass.
Dread said:
I approve of anything that points out how awful Twilight is.
Kev Weldon replied to Dread:
That means technically you approve of Twilight itself. Burn.
Danicus Spamicus Decimus Meridius replied to Kev Weldon:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
PJ said:
This list is pure, unadulterated awesome.
Goose said:
Count Duckula, man that takes me back. Good stuff.
"Starman" Matt Morrison said:
Kinda scary seeing Lost Boys on here, considering the news this morning...
Geoff said:
The Count is anything but lame. HE'S THE MOTHERFUCKING COUNT.
It's as dumb as putting Animal on a list of lame musicians.
clancydamon replied to Geoff:
MOOOOOOOOMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
.....yeah, Momma!
DJ Maniak said:
Count Duckula, Count Von Count: NOT LAME.
Marko: Lame, but he's played by Alex Winter, so he gets a free pass.
Count Chocula: Lame
Franken Berry and Boo Berry: "But fuck those guys". Um, NO. Boo Berry is probably the most awesome of the monster cereals.
Abraxas said:
the Count is not lame! well, at least he wasn't in my day. in these PC times who knows if they tried to pull a Cookie Monster on him or something. but he laughs and you've got thunder and lightning, no other vamp can do that. so there.
Steve replied to Abraxas:
Unfortunately, they took away the Count's thunder and lightning close to twenty years ago. If they happen to play an old clip (as Sesame Street sometimes does) it'll still be there, but the newer segments no longer have it.
I think we should protest this.
capnjdsmokemore said:
In the interest of distracting attention away from a fine, fine list...
How dare you besmirch the good of Alex Winter!!! "That guy from Bill & Ted"??? WTF??? Blasphemy!!!! He is a God! More specifically, he is your God!!! Looking down on you, judging you with his beautiful eyes and curly blonde locks... Prepare to be smoted...or smited...smitten...whatever, prepare to have your shit fucked up!!!
Post said:
As bad ass as hell as he looks I'd put Count Orloff From Nosferatu on the list, He's too freaking dumb not to try to feed when the sun is coming up !
The_Kid said:
That Count Von Count video is hilarious, I didn't realize censoring the right word can make something that innocent sound so dirty.
Mitch said:
First of all there is absolutely nothing lame about Count Duckula.
But more important is the glaring omission of Maximilian the Vampire in Brooklyn. I can think of no vampire more lame (that doesn't sparkle). Rarely do I comment on lists, but this is such an egregious error that I had no choice put to point it out. I assume something will be done. Good day sir!
Kevin said:
Someone has to make sure this list reaches the Twilight fandom. I want to see the Internet explode, with the TR comments board as Ground Zero.
Tonik replied to Kevin:
Jesus. That could be epic... Someone should post it to a Twilight message board, that'd do it.
After the crazy Smallville fan invasion a couple of months ago [I think it's the 'Erica Durance dresses up like Wonder Woman' post], Twilight fans wouldn't be a big deal.
Sonya replied to Kevin:
I've got my survival kit ready.
keepoffthegrass said:
Speaking of "Lost Boys"...Corey Haim was found dead. He would have been able to take out any of the Twilight vamps in my book.
Kevin replied to keepoffthegrass:
Damn, that sucks. It's been sad watching his downward spiral for years due to drug addiction.
El Charro Ninja said:
" All Edward ever accomplished was his claims of bear wrestling"
A real bear or a fat,hairy guy?
Did he really "wrestle" or fuck it?
The Throwback Mess replied to El Charro Ninja:
Actually in the first novel, Edward tells Bella that he prefers hunting Mountain Lions and his brother Emmett was the one that hit the Grizzly Bears. In fact, the very little that is actually mentioned about Emmett's past is about how he was "saved" by a bear attack by his eventual hookup partner and sister and turned into a vampire by his fake vampire daddy.
See what 9 months of reading the book aloud will allow you to write on the internet?
Papasan replied to The Throwback Mess:
Who made you read it aloud?!? Are you in some vicious foreign prison?
ThePirateStar said:
I loooved Bunnicula when I was a kid. I dressed as a Bunnicula in Grade 5. I wore a bunny costume with a cape and some vampire fangs. My teacher thought I was cool...
Neodymium replied to ThePirateStar:
HOW DID I NEVER THINK OF THAT?! I was obsessed with Bunnicula!
The steak-through-the-heart illustration is pretty much the greatest thing ever.
Benne replied to ThePirateStar:
This is the greatest costume ever.
swampy said:
where's Count Floyd?!
Julius Gryphon replied to swampy:
Yes! Seconded! How could Count Floyd not be on this list? You can't tell me a drunk Floyd Robertson showing up at the news desk still in full Count Floyd mode isn't all kinds of awesome and all kinds of lame bundled into one perfect package!
WTF replied to swampy:
Count Floyd was not lame though. Hence him not being on this list. Count Von Count isn't lame either, fools.
nick said:
Count von Count is awesome.
But.... ****ing cobwebs? That would make a terrible FFF story.
Ted said:
There is nothing lame about the Count. And the censored video is one of the funniest things ever on YouTube.
Mr Wesley said:
Dracula: Dead and Loving It, is one of only two movies that I have ever walked out of (the other being Courage Mountain, a Heidi remake starring Charlie Sheen). However, I would have walked out on Twilight if my wife had let me.
demoncat said:
Nice to see Count Duckula and Chocula on the list and in the top five for always wonder what the people who came up with them was on. plus who ever came up with a bunny as a vampire. good list.
Rocket Raccoon said:
Proof that Count von Count is better than Edward?
http://fuckyeahtwilightsucks.tumblr.com/post/421753469/anaklusmos-theloveyoumake-lilbritt
Anonymous replied to Rocket Raccoon:
I'm so making that my new background
JOE said:
Hey what was the name of that Vampire from Buck Rogers? The one that used to turn into the red dot.
13rian said:
Holy crap!
"Van-Pires"!
That show was so ridiculous it was awesome.
Rob said:
I should point out that when we say "lame" we mean "lame at being vampires." Count von Count is intrinsically awesome, but he's not particularly good at being a vampire since he's more interested in counting than sucking blood. I should have made this more clear in the intro.
Abraxas replied to Rob:
actually, his counting is simply a cover, a lure that reels in the kiddies...and as he hypnotizes them with his numbers, that's when he sucks the blood. >:D and that's an undead plot bunny for any would be FFF'ers
Ah. In which case, you are forgiven and the giant robot sent to destroy the Toplessrobot offices will be recalled.
Although I'm with Abraxas - I think it's a cover.
wanderfarer replied to Rob:
One of the lesser-known bits of vampire folklore is that they're obsessive-compulsive and thus you can get away from them by spilling beans (or any small object -- ball bearings would probably work exceptionally well) in front of them, because they'll be compelled to count them. Knowing that makes the Count EVEN MORE AWESOME.
Jeff said:
The Counts song is hilarious just by making you think hes singing about fucking
Bad Horse said:
I went to the doctor, but all he did was take some blood from my neck. Don't ever see Dr. Acula.
OneButtonOff replied to Bad Horse:
Sadly, yes even Dr. Acula, from the overactive imagination of John "J.D." Dorian, is cooler than the Twilight vamps.
Bad Horse replied to OneButtonOff:
Scrubs did that? I was going for a Mitch Hedberg reference.
Alex K said:
Well done, Kevin - awesome list!
Bunnicula... hahaha
Moishe said:
All this and to top it all off none of that sparkling in sunlight bull****.
Carmine said:
Other people actually remember Vanpires? Damn...
Honestly, the Vanpires could be pretty menacing, when they weren't making bad puns.
BorgQueen said:
Anyone remember that show with Seth Green called "Greg the Bunny"? And Count Blah (or Count Aiight in one ep) who was a parody of Count von Count. Way cooler than the ponce from Twilight.
DoctorSmashy said:
This may be breaking some kind of nerd law, but I don't know what Johnny the Homicidal Maniac is. Looks cool, though.
And Louis from Interview With The Vampire had some good moments, you know. He sliced this guy in half with a scythe and YOU SAW ALL THE GUY'S INSIDES AND IT WAS AWESOME!
Props for including Count Chocula and Duckula.
Kay replied to DoctorSmashy:
Louis was much less action hero-ey in the movie. He was so moody and reflective he was never the main character again even when Anne Rice published more than ten books in the direct series and several ones associated with it.
Everyone else gets to have their moment where they go "I'm a vampire therefore I can do whatever the hell I want." but he mostly sits around, mourns his "daughter", and tells Lestat, the new main character out having badass adventures, that he is a bad, bad person.
The Metal Soldier said:
Awesome topic Rob. Good choices too.
Ace said:
One word people: Angel. Whiny twit. His evil, non-souled self was much more entertaining.
segasonicdude said:
Where is the Rating System for this Site for this list is FIVE STARS!!!!!
Bill said:
What the--? Where is Blackula?!? Are you telling me that motherf*ckin' Blackula couldn't kick Twilight's collective ass?
Blackula, FTW!
Screampants said:
Ah, yes. Nothing like an awesome round of Twilight bashing to get the morning off to a good start. :) I must say that I heartily approve of the entire list.
Kevin Mahadeo said:
Hey guys! Thanks for the great words!
As Rob pointed out, when we said "lame," we meant "lame at being vampires." I apologize for not making that clearer in my intro. I absolutely LOVE Count von Count. Like most, I grew up on Sesame Street, so I meant no disrespect on one of the greatest characters in the history of everything.
Invader Toph said:
What about Count Fangula from Big Bad Beetleborgs? I know that it was a copy of Power Rangers but I adored that show when I was little. And Fangula was wayy better than sparkle motion and his retarded girlfriend Bella.
Soot said:
What about the Vampirez (gansta vampires who are into real estate)? They actually fight the Wolevz (werewolves who just want jobs). Fairly lame but still better than twilight.
thelordofhell said:
In the LIO cartoon strip, I always thought the undead bunny doll he sleeps with was inspired by Bunnicula.
Juice said:
Count von Count = epic win. That Youtube video is one of the greatest things ever.
Adam E. said:
Easily the best list I've seen on this site in a long time. Massive Twilight-bashing and the Count as number one means this list wins.
RubyRoses said:
great list. but I don't mind vampires that can go out in sunlight, sorry like the Supernatural vampires can go out into the sun without bursting into flames...it hurts like a sunburn so they don't make a habit out of it. Don't take that as a defence of Twilight, just not all vampires who can go into are lame.
Mr. Gold said:
*sigh*
The only thing lamer than Twilight fan-girls are people who think they're cool when they bash it; way to jump on a bandwagon *rolls eyes*
The sad fact is for all the haters? The writer of Twilight has more money than all of you, and that money was made because it is popular and people must enjoy it.
Also? Robert Pattinson gets more pussy than any of you. Yes, he could even steal Joss Whedon away from Rob probably.
The sad fact is for all the haters? The writer of Twilight has more money than all of you
Of course! The fact that it's abominably-written dreck with no plot or characterization to speak of that teaches girls that abusive relationships are "romantic" has nothing to do with it. It must be because the author has money! That makes so much more sense.
Boyle replied to Skemono:
Actually, I'm jealous of the money.
Not Pattinson's sexual conquests, however. It's quality that counts, not quantity.
seasix replied to Mr. Gold:
You need to put on your big boy panties and realize that many nerds froth at Twilight now not just because it has enraptured the only wimmins that would bother to go for them, but has also taken over precious, precious tickets for San Diego Comic-Con.
That's right, hundreds of tickets snached up not for super sexy Tron Legacy news or overpriced yet so-awesome rare action figures, but for one fucking Twilight movie panel, the tickets effectively gone to waste afterwards.
Mr Gold wrote: "The sad fact is for all the haters? The writer of Twilight has more money than all of you, and that money was made because it is popular and people must enjoy it."
And now I'm gonna go blow my fucking brains out. Thank you Mr. Gold for demolishing the last remaining vestige of my will to live. Bill Hicks is dead, George Carlin is dead, John Lennon is dead, but Stephenie Meyer is alive and well and making more money than God.
If that doesn't restore your faith in the human race, then you must already be undead.
--- Gos
Beretta Paige said:
You forgot "Anatole de Vampire," the French boy-vampire who, like the bunny and the duck, also sucks the juice out of vegetables instead of blood. And also turns into a butterfly instead of a bat....but yeah, Twilight still has bigger pussy vampires.
Skemono said:
Vampires stay out of the sunlight lest they burst into flames.
I guess that means Dracula's not a vampire, then.
Dmonick1 replied to Skemono:
well, if (nerd moment approaching) you watched Buffy into like season 5 I think, you learn that Dracula isn't quite a normal vampire. or if you read season eight book "wolves at the gate" he is a win vampire though.
Kes said:
Yay for Bunnicula!
Kate said:
How about Once Bitten? Jim Carrey as a half vampire by Lauren Hutton? Classic!
Boredlizzie said:
This list has won my heart for mentioning Eric the Vampire from JTHM. Eric also shows up pre-walrus transformation in "I Feel Sick" and is equally lame, making dramatic speeches while his "fangs" fall out & setting himself on fire with smoke bombs. Y'all need to read Johnny the Homicidal Maniac and I Feel Sick. Then go for Squee! Leave the Bad Art Collection on the shelf to rot, however, and save Filler Bunny for when you're feeling masochistic.
Pikmintaro said:
Something I'd like to point out is that in the original novel (And in Carmilla which came out about 25 years earlier), Dracula wasn't weak to sunlight, in fact he was walking around in broad daylight at one point in the novel! he just had a bit of an aversion to it.
The "Melting in Sunlight" thing was first introduced in the movie "Nosferatu" and they have used that ever since.
But thankfully we have Castlevania, and Hellsing, and other such things to preserve the good name of Vampires recently.
Now please excuse me while I go to play Darkstalkers.
Jeweled said:
THANK YOU! I have been a fan of Count Duckula for years! I had thought that it had gone away forever.. But you, oh Topless Robot.. You are a wonderful and have just earned my undying gratitude! But, totally right.. He's so much more of a vampire than the pussies in Twilight. And I love that video of the Count. Fan-fucking-tastic!
AL said:
while not really lame like some of those others. but does anyone remember the movie "love at first bite" ??? come on, who else but george hamilton can play the Drac, while still sporting a tan.
and great lines too.....
the wolves howling in the distance.... "children of the night...SHUT UP!"
"after 400 years, its nice to have someone bite ME for a change"
jeffers said:
"I 'BLEEP' the candles on the shelf"
Oh man, I shouldn't have been drinking when I watched that, and Count Duckula was like a religion for me as a kid, in my mind it was just 20 minutes of awesome starring David Jason.
Anonymous said:
what about ketchup vampires???
Dianne said:
Loved this and esp Count Count, my fave.
Hey, anyone see "Curren" they did a vampie spoof. Dracula/Oldman, Edward(woosie) Bill Compton saying "SOOKIE
Good Article
dj
bunnicula, i missed that one
Asat said:
If you're still Googling, then GIS for Count Morbida too. For lameness he really ought to be top of the list. The only thing he does vampire-wise is look psychotically ugly, a la Nosferatu. That and tell corny old jokes. Which, if I recall correctly, Dracula was also quite fond of. I mean, these guys are older than everyone's great-grandparents. Of COURSE they're gonna know all the prehistoric jokes.
Poopenshaft said:
You missed a few. Count Blah from Greg The Bunny was a parody of Count von Count. He was also one of the show's funniest characters.
Alyssa Milano was the only reason why anyone would want to watch Embrace The Vampire. Getting me to watch a shitty movie like that and sitting throught he whole damn thing because of it should at least deserve something.
Aaron said:
Your list is made unfortunately made irrelevant by putting Count von Count on a list for lame vampires.
Count von Count is all counts of badassery. Count on it.
big j said:
What about count floyd, from SCTV- he may be lame, but he would Kick Edward's ass.
PinkAnimal said:
what about Count Dracula of the Groovie Ghoulies show?
oh the puns, dear god the puns....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groovie_Goolies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmelTlEzI34
christian said:
Should add this mexican vampiro to be the 10th in the list... XD
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMJkVrw_8fE
He´s named Draculon, (culon means something like coward), funny if you think of it as Fuckula in english... hahaha
i love converse said:
I love the Count! a well deserved winner. bet the Count could kill Edward in a fight too
ruffdesu said:
While it's a good theory that Louis paved the way for the shiny gay fairy vampires in Twilight, Meyer never read a vampire book or watched a vampire movie before she wrote her garbage. It may have changed the archetype in the publics minds, but I don't know how much that would affect a lame prudish mormon who avoids fun or interesting so vehemently.
Farglesnarf said:
I wasn't expecting Eric the Vampire on here. XD Which makes me want to sift through my boxes of books and find my copy of JtHM now.
I remember Jhonen Vasquez did a pretty hillarious superhero parody too.
Haeckel said:
The Buck Rogers vampire was called a Vorvon. It was both cheesy and cool, an homage to Shrek's Count Orlok.
Speaking of Orlok, it was the 1922 movie Nosferatu that began the notion that vampires turn into dust/burst into flame upon mere exposure to sunlight. There is not much basis for that in previous literature and folklore.
I like Nosferatu/30 Days of Night-style vampires, but get rid of the stupid 'daylight incinerates them' thing.
lou-bert vs. q-bert said:
How is Blackula not on this list?
catandmouse said:
Hahahaha....fun list...and yeah any other vampire can beat the c**p out of Edward and his gang..even the emo vampire from the book the silver kiss can, and he was pretty emo...anyway..way to throw dirt on the piece of c**p called twilight! Cheers for that!
Dunx said:
Count Homogenised FTW. The vampire that only drinks milk!
Most of you won't have heard of him, since he only appeared in the 70's on New Zealand television. A sample is available for viewing here: http://nzonscreen.wordpress.com/2009/08/17/count-homogenised-has-arrived/
Alluvial said:
What? No Ketchup Vampires?
I'm kind of shocked!
Kane said:
Fact: Nerds have loved counting since they were kids
Fact: Everyone single person here watched Seasame's Street
Conclusion: Everyone here including myself loves Count Von Count
r. v. b. said:
You forgot Count Von Plasma (played by Donald Pleasance) from an early Bruce Beresford movie, Barry McKenzie Holds his own...
& what about Angel & Spike from the Buffy-verse?
& the Jewish vampire in Polanksi's The Fearless Vampire Killers who, when breaking into a maiden's bedroom & being confronted by a giant crucifix, shouts, "Oy, have you got the wrong vampire..." There was also a gay vampire, & he'd definitely kick any of the Twilight gang's arses...
Still, all in all, a great list...esp. the product placement vampires...
gerakis100 said:
Count Duckula rocks! one of my favorite TV shows as a kid... he's so NOT LAME!
Fernando Hal said:
Oh my, so it's still about twilight
Count Blah! said:
You really forgot Count Blah.. blah. ;)
Aimee said:
a friend posted this on her facebook, even though she likes twilight. i had a boyfriend at the time newmoon came out, who was talking sweet to me and said "you know what we can do saturday? ..... NEW MOON WILL BE OUT!" ...True love sitting through new moon,waisting like 2 hours of your life that you will never get back just so that your boyfriend can see this movie.. edward looks like he got smacked in the face with a shovel in the movie... Count von count ROCKS! and though i have been told the lost boys was a good movie, i couldnt sit through it and watch it... i love anne rice as writer, louis is a wimp though, the whole time i watched new moon i was thinking about anne rice's vampires---they earn the right to go out into the sun, as soon as they are ancient they can go into the sun and it wont harm them as bad (being that it wont kill them). the comment about how twilight shows that its romantic to be in a abusive realtationship,from twilight it also shows to young girls that its alright to be a dull stupid twit that complains about everything and that its 'healthy' to want to die for someone you barely know... not my place to judge people who like twilight, but in my [vampire enthusiast] opinion, Twilight sucks.
Wendel said:
Sorry pal but you forgot the best of the lot . .
George Hamilton in "Love at First Bite."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YXHaJ_t0wU
Dracula in love with a cover model??
Before the "angst" of Anne Rice's "Louis de Pointe du Lac," Hamilton had Dracula lament having to always dress as a head waiter, not being able to eat garlic toast, or go on an Easter Egg hunt.
That scene ALONE beat out any in Twilight.
Dummy said:
Count von Count is NOT a Muppet. He might be a puppet, he may even have been made by Jim Henson himself, but he is definitely no Muppet.
Fatpie42 said:
The showdown we've all been waiting for....
http://shotgunnoblitz.tumblr.com/photo/1280/420582348/1/tumblr_kymjhbU7mu1qa09hy
Bella said:
Lame.
You're just jealous because you didn't write Twilight.
Gos said:
You missed two:
Blackula (obviously)
And what about George Hamilton's Dracula in "Love at First Bite"?
Whoever it is that makes these lists, he's obviously asleep at the switch.
ZimMan2 said:
Nice list, but just FYI: Bunnicula is the shit.
noirakita said:
Bunnicula! they were some of my favorite books as a kid. I always thought The Celery Stalks at Midnight (the third book in the series I believe) was the best title EVAR in the history of book titles. I just loved how Bunnicula would suck the "life" out of carrots and they'd turn white.
Elan' said:
Count Von Count is the perfect default European Accent.
"I'm Italian! Ah ha ha ha (lightning)"
"I am French! Ah ha ha ha (lightning)"
"Welcome to Finland! Ah ha ha ha (lightning)"
"Armenia!! Ah ha ha ha (lightning)"
Alexis said:
But these vampires don't glitter in the sunlight
Monique said:
Bunnicula creeped me out as a child. Having Count von Count on the list is awesome; he'll always be cooler than Edward! He's even cooler than Louis!
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www.societybook.wordpress.com
free movie downloads said:
I love Bunnicula as a kid, I totally forgot about that book. If I recall correctly, once the vampire bunny finished feeding on the carrots they would turn from orange to white. It may be silly, but I loved the concept.
myron punymyer said:
i would like to nominate 2 more grangpa munster not lame but ineffective as a vampire did he ever bite anyone? and drac from groovy ghoulies voiced by no other than the great larry storch
Louis Cipher said:
Sorry, but I like the Twilight vampires. I have seen the same old vampires burn up in the sun, go around killing and drinking blood, blah, blah, blah. I love how Edward is a vampire that has to calm his thirst to deal with loving a human. It beats that same old vampire lore. The Twilight series is a breath of fresh air while the same old vamp stories are getting lame and boring.
