My biggest issue with this is that it just looks like shit. There's no reason they have to make preschool toys look so terrible. I'm pretty sure most everyone here played with transformers that young.
Say what you want about Michael Bay and his Transformers movie -- I certainly have, it's kind of the reason I have a job right now -- but my biggest gripe has always been his lack of regard for the franchise. And I'm not talking about G1 versus other incarnations, I'm talking about Transformers itself. Basically, it boils down to this: Michael Bay presented Transformers in a way Hasbro felt was inappropriate for their toys, which seems to be an essential mishandling of what the movie is supposed to be. Basically, if Hasbro wasn't comfortable releasing a pissing Bumblebee action figure or a Devastator with testicles, I figure Michael Bay shouldn't have put it in the movie, case closed.
Or so I thought. Because Seibertron just revealed Hasbro's My First Transformers, a preschool line of very simple, very homely Transformers, including Racer-kun, who, well...
...clearly has testicles.
So all right. My apologies to Michael Bay. I thought Hasbro maybe didn't want their long-running kids toyline to have clearly defined genitalia, but now they're putting nuts on toys for ages two and up. I guess you're never too young to see a robot teabag John Turturro.
Or so I thought. Because Seibertron just revealed Hasbro's My First Transformers, a preschool line of very simple, very homely Transformers, including Racer-kun, who, well...
 |
So all right. My apologies to Michael Bay. I thought Hasbro maybe didn't want their long-running kids toyline to have clearly defined genitalia, but now they're putting nuts on toys for ages two and up. I guess you're never too young to see a robot teabag John Turturro.
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I'll post prior to reading the thread....That looks like a pair of binoculars, or if you just pull back a bit...I'd be more upset that this figure uses a child like figure as a cod piece. OMG the child looking object seems to actually be imprisoned, and possibly impaled on errrrrr.... not only that....It, the figure, looks fucking awful....oh wait...I see...It's actually a scale model of a new kids ride (yeah I know what you pervs are thinking) that's a safety bar....jeeez that's really confusing...
Dispatch it with a can of gas and a magnesium flare.
Officially filed under WTF in my mind...
on to the comments
If it was a real transformer, it would have both kinds of genitalia. Just another Friday night for "Hot-Rod!"
So...So it has binoculaurs for testicles? How...How does that even work? Does it see with its crotch? Does it 69 itself every time it wants to get a good view of the battlefield? Does he actually go blind if him or anyone else abuses his crotch too often? WHY WOULD YOU RELEASE SOMETHING WITH SO MANY QUESTIONS & WRONGNESS???
...Oh, & I got a giggle out of this, I guess.
My idea for Transformers 4.
Seeing how violent Optimus has turned rebrand him nemesis prime and make him the villain.Don't know about the plot, but have and after credits scene with Unicron hinting for the final movie.
That would require there to be yet another Transformers movie that nobody wants to see.
Does anyone else just see Bay making the Galactus Cloud into Unicron but maybe with more destroyed buildings?
Me. Unicron's a pretty special villain and one not lightly jumped into. A good movie series does not jump right away into the biggest baddest villain possible. Green Lantern overwhelmingly proves that. I would see a Thunderwing as villain movie before I would want to see Unicron get used prematurely. And not IDW's Thunderwing. Talking G1 here.
Unicron in Bay's hands. Let me say that again so you remember. Unicorn in MICHEAL I WILL TEABAG YOUR CHILDHOOD TILL YOU SCREAM IN EXPLOSIONS BAY's hands.
I've finally got it. Playschool presents My first FFF Transformers. Learn the wicked and wrong things you can make your Robots in Disguise do to their human friends. Hours of fun as your toys abuse and molest their human counter parts. Great fun for the whole family. In the preschool section of your local toy store.
I need a drink.
You know, there actually is an Optimus playset from Playskool right now. He transforms into a firehouse but I'm sure you can do some redecorating.
It's actually not uncommon for Transformers toys to have unfortunate accessories in their crotch region like triggers and whatnot. Sometimes it even gets into the fiction. I've seen more than one time where Soundwave pushes the buttons on his crotch.That toy looks rather old. Are you sure it's not an old toy? If not, that's a DRASTIC step back from Hasbro's current playschool-level Transformers.
Rob, not sure if you read the article properly. Those toys are from 1986.
Mind, Takara did a Tanuki transformer back in the mid-90s, complete with the requisite testes.
Dear god...why does this toy remind me of The Ideon from Space runaway Ideon? http://cdn103.iofferphoto.com/...
Oh god...his testicles look like the firetruck hoses....why....why...why....oh...god....I.....
rob, u got it all wrong. this is a peak preview for "Transformers 4 - The Miracle of Birth"
*snickers* ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
I've seen knock offs that look better than this.
On the plus side, imagine how it would look if you forgot to push the driver down when you transform it to robot mode.
Wait, so these came out in the 80s in Japan and I can't actually buy them? Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!
I feel compelled to point out that this is not the first transformer with testicles. There was a Japanese release that was a tanooki with balls. Some years ago.
I feel compelled to point out My First Transformers was a line from way back in 1986. This toy isn't new by any stretch of the imagination, Rescuebots is Hasbro's current TF for kids line. MFT, later redubbed Playskool's Go-Bots, easily predates Beast Wars.
It times like this I wish I had the animated gft of Ms. Piggy slamming her head into the desk. Because that all I feel when I look at this. *slams head into desk till the blood flows into his eyes making seeing this impossible*
More disturbing? Look at the pictures of his race car form. The little driver pops out...
My first thought when I saw the driver poking out of there.
I can not believe rob didn't see that.
Good God! This looks like some knock off Dollar General store Transformer. I find this aspect more disgusting than its saggy testicles.
