Hasbro Just Justified Michael Bay’s Horribleness

Say what you want about Michael Bay and his Transformers movie — I certainly have, it’s kind of the reason I have a job right now — but my biggest gripe has always been his lack of regard for the franchise. And I’m not talking about G1 versus other incarnations, I’m talking about Transformers itself. Basically, it boils down to this: Michael Bay presented Transformers in a way Hasbro felt was inappropriate for their toys, which seems to be an essential mishandling of what the movie is supposed to be. Basically, if Hasbro wasn’t comfortable releasing a pissing Bumblebee action figure or a Devastator with testicles, I figure Michael Bay shouldn’t have put it in the movie, case closed.

Or so I thought. Because Seibertron just revealed Hasbro’s My First Transformers, a preschool line of very simple, very homely Transformers, including Racer-kun, who, well…


?…clearly has testicles.

So all right. My apologies to Michael Bay. I thought Hasbro maybe didn’t want their long-running kids toyline to have clearly defined genitalia, but now they’re putting nuts on toys for ages two and up. I guess you’re never too young to see a robot teabag John Turturro.