Ten Terrible Cases of Toy-Aisle Trolling

By Poe Ghostal in Comics, Toys
Tuesday, November 20, 2012 at 9:01 am

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4. Marvel Universe - Wolverine vs. Hand Ninja

Okay, so first off, the scuzzbag swaps not one, but two Hand Ninjas for a couple of the 10,000,000+ Snake Eyes that came around the time of Rise of Cobra. That's already enough to make him a dick, but initially it does appear that he has some interest in actually trying to make the swap look realistic.

But then he flat-out steals both Wolverine's hands. He took his fucking HANDS! TWICE!
What is wrong with this person-besides the obvious? Was this supposed to be some sort of terrible pun on the whole "Hand" ninja thing? Is he some sort of serial killer in the making, collecting trophies from his victims? Is he working on a tiny kettle of hands?

Karmic Payback: May his palms develop permanent jock itch.

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3. Marvel Universe - Storm and Nightcrawler Comic Pack

So, what happened here? The thief has replaced the regular Storm figure that was supposed be in this set with a custom G.I. Joe Baroness shorn of its hair and painted to look like Storm. Storm had some cleavage showing but the Baroness was in a full leather suit, resulting in that creepy, leathery-looking décolletage. Looks like an action figure of Grace Jones based on her appearance in...her own house yesterday. Kill it. Kill it with fire!

Karmic Payback: May She-Hulk visit his house, dressed head-to-toe in winter clothing, and rip up all his X-Men.

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2. DC Universe Classics - Head Swap Madness

A couple years back, Mattel released a number of Green Lantern figures in its DC Universe Classics line. A few of these figures had alternate heads, so if you bought two you could have two different characters, allowing you to quickly swell your ranks of Green Lanterns.

Apparently, some collector (presumably a customizer) wanted a few heads from other DCUC figures. So, what to do? Go to the store, open a few packages, and swap the heads out! The result: four absolutely terrifying-looking toys.

Karmic Payback: The perpetrator is forced to move out of his mother's basement because her booming prostitution business needs the space.


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