​Newsarama has the first seven or so pages of Avengers Vs. X-Men for your perusal here; seeing as it's Marvel's big deal for the year, I figured you might want to check it out. I liked it -- it's mostly set-up, but it seems to move at a pretty brisk pace, which is good because all I want to see are the Avengers fighting the X-Men, and I'd say there a decent chance of someone throwing a punch in the very first issue. Still, far be it for me to not bitch about something, so here goes:
• While I'm mildly annoyed that Wolverine and Beast have apparently decided to stick with the Avengers side -- I'm very perturbed that apparently Namor is not only hanging out with the X-Men now, but also going to fight on their behalf against his old team. I know Namor was retconned into the first mutant at some point, but he's an Atlantean first and foremost, both to readers and in his head. Basically, THIS IS DIFFERENT FROM WHAT I'M USED TO AND I HATE IT.
• Also, Marvel, Red Hulk makes everything 20% less cool. Just a fact. Use regular Hulk or no Hulk at all, as god and Stan and Jack intended.

Between Avengers, G.I. Joe: Retaliation and The Amazing Spider-Man, I'd kind of forgotten all about little Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance coming out in the next couple of weeks. Bloody Disgusting has three new TV spots for the flick; I picked this one mostly because of a flaming skull doing a pretty solid Nic Cage impression while looming out of the car's sunroof. But the reason I'm mentioning this at all is because of the synopsis BD posted, which I hadn't seen before:

"It has been several years since making a deal with the Devil and Johnny Blaze (Nicolas Cage), living in self-imposed isolation, finds himself as the only person who can help save 10-year-old Danny - and ultimately the world - thanks to his unwanted and uncontrollable power - his ability to transform into the hell-on-wheels monster known as The Ghost Rider."

...Danny? Maybe as in Danny Ketch? As in the other Ghost Rider? Sure, maybe it's a coincidence, but if I get to see the flaming skull of a 10-year-old in this film, that's going to earn it a minimum of two stars.

​Rather than do my normal intro, I'd like to talk about Alan Moore for a sec -- specifically, Moore's response when someone asked him how he could be upset about Before Watchmen when he's been using other people's characters in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen for years.

In literature, I would say that it's different. I would say, and it might be splitting hairs, but I'm not adapting these characters. I'm not doing an adaptation of Dracula or King Solomon's Mines. What I am doing is stealing them. There is a difference between doing an adaptation, which is evil, and actually stealing the characters, which, as long as everybody's dead or you don't mention the names, is perfectly alright by me. I'm not trying to be glib here, I genuinely do feel that in literature you've got a tradition that goes back to Jason And The Argonauts of combining literary characters [...] It's just irresistible to do these fictional mash-ups. They've been going on for hundreds of years and I feel I'm a part of a proud literary tradition in doing that. With taking comic characters that have been created by cheated old men, I feel that that is different [...] And that's my take on the subject.

This is, of course, profoundly stupid, but it made me realize I'm also okay with Moore's League, but disapproving of Before Watchmen. Why is that? I'm honestly not 100% sure, but I do know that I don't mind when someone makes new adaptations of Dracula or 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea or Batman, because while they're wonderful and entertaining, I don't consider them works of art like, say Stendahl or Thoman Mann or, yes, Watchmen. The Red and the Black and The Magic Mountain are complete works unto themselves, and I'd think it just as inappropriate if some guy tried to write a Magic Mountain prequel as I do Before Watchmen. It's something about the works themselves that allow or prohibit expanding upon them -- I hate to call it a "literary quality," since we're talking about book and comic books here, but maybe that's it. It's certainly not a matter of "stealing" versus "adapting," though. Hell, to me it feels like Moore is adapting those classic characters in League, and DC is stealing Watchmen.

But whatever. On with the contest.
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​Yes, there's going to be a Batman Mr. Potato Head, uncreatively named The Dark Knight Spud. One can only hope this means a Heath Ledger Joker Potato Head is on the way, complete with a menacing potato peeler in his hands. I assume a Bane Potato Head will be next, though, since Bane already kind of looks like a potato anyways. (Via Big Bad Toy Store)

The first real trailer for the Spider-Man reboot came out last night -- too cheap to buy a Super Bowl spot, eh, Sony? -- and I'm just not feeling it. I think the problem is that I'm not seeing anything in here to really differentiate it from the Raimi movies, so instead of being "Oh wow, it's a better Spidey flick!" I'm all like "Oh, it's another Spidey flick, with a new guy and we're starting over from the beginning for some reason." Or maybe it's because Rhys Ifans is no Willem Dafoe or Alfred Molina (I'm not even sure he's Topher Grace, frankly).

Actually, the real problem is that after the Avengers trailer and the G.I. Joe: Retaliation trailer, there's a pretty fucking high bar of awesome you need to clear to impress me this summer. I'm not dismissing The Amazing Spider-Man entirely, I'm just saying this trailer attempted the jump, hit the bar, knocked it off, and then landed awkwardly on its neck.

Max Landis, son of director John, is apparently a comics fan. What he's not a fan of, apparently, is the Death and Return of Superman storyline, as evidenced by the 16-minute, shockingly accurate summary of story, where Max drinks scotch and some of his Hollywood buddies help re-enact key scenes (I recognized Elijah Wood, Simon Pegg, Mandy Moore and Misti Dawn, among others). There is absolutely nothing I don't love about this video, although my favorite part is that original his nerdy rant was even longer:

The original rant was 45 minutes long, so of course we had to cut a bunch of stuff out for time, and because it was just too stupid. Like for instance the part where Pa Kent dies of a heart attack and literally GOES TO HEAVEN. AND SEES SUPERMAN.

Infinite thanks to all million of you who sent this in.

If you only saw the new Avengers TV spot during the Super Bowl, then you are missing the hell out. Above is an extended version of that same trailer, and it's so fantastic I can barely stand it.

Speaking of, between this new Avengers spot and the Giants winning the Super Bowl, I am an extremely good mood today. I am also the tiniest bit hung over, so if TR is a little bit slow today, that's probably why.

​Oh, c'mon, you knew this was coming. With DC's announcement they would soullessly cash in on one of the most popular and notably complete comic stories of all time release seven miniseries set before Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' classic Watchmen, I think most of us are a bit... concerned that they might not live up to the original. Certainly, they've got some greatest artists and writers on the books, but really, it's like good bands doing a Beatles cover -- they might be good, but the chances of them being as good as the originals is really fucking slim.

Of course, the more exciting possibility is that they'll be fucking terrible, which would allow the entire nerdernet to point at DC imperiously and say "I TOLD YOU SO," possibly while Alan Moore's serpent god bites them in the genitals. So for this week's contest, let's give DC a hand by showing what to avoid, namely by creating the worst possible scenes we can imagine happening in Before Watchmen.

Now, please recall there's one title for each of the six main Watchmen characters (Rorschach, Dr. Manhattan, Silk Spectre, The Comedian, Nite Owl and Ozymandias) plus one for the Minutemen, the pre-Watchmen team. So try to stick to those, although that should give you plenty of leeway.

Three entries -- i.e., "scenes" -- per person. The contest will at 11:25pm EST on Sunday, February 5th, 35 minutes before midnight, because I think I'm so fucking clever, and because I want to see how many people totally miss this. Have a great weekend, folks. I'm told the weather looks like giant naked ladies, so you might want to carry around your umbrella.

​More new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles toy pics from Playmates? Yes, please. First up is Krang -- you guys were right, he is riding a Terminator. While I miss his ridiculous robot from the '80s cartoon -- it's just so specifically weird -- I have no problem admitting this is slightly more imposing. Besides, maybe old-school Krang will get a TMNT Classics figure. God, I'd have to buy that just on principle.
​In less exciting news, the new April O'Neil looks like... well, this. If her character appearance wasn't designed by a committee, I'll eat one of her action figures. "We need anime eyes! Kids love that Japanimation!" "Jean shorts and legging! So she's slightly feminine, but not so girly as to terrify young boys!" "And an indistinct sports jersey, too! She she's a tomboy, which is like a boy, but a girl! It's the best of all worlds!"

MTV Geek has more pics of a FOOT Soldier (solid), Shredder (looks a lot like the last cartoon to me, especially in physique), and Splinter (looks kind of like a possum, actually). Meanwhile, I figured this was actually the best photo to end with:
​Oh, sweet Super Sewer Playset. You're so magnificent you even make that horrible April O'Neil figure okay!

WARNING: THE VIDEO ABOVE CONTAINS THE MOST GRAPHIC LEGO-ON-LEGO VIOLENCE YOU WILL EVER SEE IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. Also, it is totally awesome. When asked for a comment after seeing the video, Ultimate Captain America vomited in shock and horror, and then he cried. Infinite thanks to Ryan A. for tip.