Dead Snow: Red vs. Dead Poster Has the Best Bad Pun You'll See All Day

Tuesday, August 19, 2014 at 3:59 pm

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It's a movie about an amputee with the sewed-on arm of a Nazi zombie, resurrecting dead Russian POWs to fight more Nazi zombies. It obviously has some comedy elements - in fact, I'm sure it's Heil-arious.

The first film taught me useful information about how to tell up from down if you're disoriented (spit, and if it "falls up," you're upside down), so I hope this sequel is similarly educational.

17 Stories You May Have Missed: Chicken Gimp Suit, Lego Mario, Weaponized Horse Crap, More

Monday, August 18, 2014 at 6:00 am

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Hello Kitty in Space

SummerSlam happened this weekend (result: John Cena gets time off to make movies), as did my best friend's birthday, so it's a treat to catch up on things that happened elsewhere, about which I did not know. With the aid of Kyle LeClair, here are some reader-submitted stories we might not have caught otherwise.

This week's tipsters include: troi, Anyone00, jaganar, SlyDante777, Gallen_Dugall, Timely_Flower-Hermit, Dr.Gonzo82

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Arnold Schwarzenegger as a Midwestern Farmer With a Zombie Daughter Fills Me With Glee

Wednesday, August 13, 2014 at 2:30 pm

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In the very best Schwarzenegger movies, they never, ever bother explaining his accent and give him a regular ol' American name like "Ben Richards" or, um, "Johnny Matrix." So when I read this description of his new movie Maggie:

A Midwestern farmer stays by the side of his beloved teenage daughter even as she slowly turns into a cannibalistic zombie, in this daring, genre-bending debut feature.
...I was sold. I mean, just look at that picture. Then imagine him saying "Auugh! My dauda isss a zahmbie!" Gold

Imdb says his name is "Wade" in this one.

Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Sharknado, Volleyball and Zombies

Thursday, July 24, 2014 at 8:00 am

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A veteran of the LAPD, widow of a Green Beret and self-described crazy cat lady, Luke's Mother-in-Law fears no questions. Ask her anything in the comments section - no issue is too big, too trivial or too weird for her to tackle, but if you get out of line, she will let you know!

All questions and answers are real.

Hello all. We are in another excessive heat warning period. Weather is, they say, 116 degrees for today thru the end of the week - joy of joys. Still have not heard anything from Contact in the Desert as to if I am going to volunteer. I almost assume by now that I am not. I really hate, however, that people have gotten really rude and or stupid. If you ask for volunteers would not it be nice to let people know that they are not needed? Another pet peeve: I waited to pick up a key to do an appraisal for a sale this week. Had asked the agent if she could put a lock box on the property and she said no. So I pick up the key, it is already 100 outside, get to the house and guess what there is a lock box on the back door. How rude. Anyway, it has been one of those weeks in the appraisal business.

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28 Things To Do and See at Comic-Con That Aren't Movie, TV or Comics Panels

Tuesday, July 22, 2014 at 6:00 am

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Well, we've spent the past week giving you detailed previews about what to expect from this year's San Diego Comic Con when it comes to films, television, comics, and various exclusives, but now it's time to take a step back and look at everything else this show has to offer...as written by a man who admittedly has never been to any incarnation of Comic Con before.

But now that I've had an insane load of various panels, programs and events dumped into my lap to look at, it actually did get to me thinking that as a first-timer of sorts, what could the behemoth that is SDCC offer that tickles my fancy the most? Where would I go there, assuming I also had infinite money and could be in two places or more at the same time? Well, let's take a look and find out, and maybe highlight some places all of you had best check out as well...

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Funko's Amputee Obsession: Armless Wampa, Headless Hershel Toys for Comic-Con

Friday, July 11, 2014 at 2:30 pm

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Funko, known for their black-eyed bobbleheads of almost every successful property there is, seem like they're showing a bit of a dark side. For Comic-Con, they're doing not one, but TWO toys based on popular dismemberment scenes. Oh, sure, the Wampa in Empire Strikes Back had it coming, and considering what happened to Darth Maul, the ice beast got off easy.

Not so Hershel Greene on The Walking Dead...

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The Scariest Teddy Bear of All Time

Monday, June 16, 2014 at 3:47 pm

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I'm not even talking about that face, above, which is nightmare fueling enough.

No...this thing has an action feature that, once seen, will never be unetched from your retinas. This toy makes McFarlane Toys look like Fisher Price Little People. And it just sold for $712.

This is a true test of self-loathing, folks. Do you want to see the toy in action? Then proceed...

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6-9-14 Weekend Hangover: 17 Stories You Might Have Missed

Monday, June 9, 2014 at 6:00 am

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Be honest, you miss her as Mary Jane...

It's the stories you might have missed last week and over the weekend! Compiled with the aid of Kyle LeClair, this week's list includes stories on sushi dating, Beavis and Butt-head, Ant-Man, giant ancient crocodiles, Spider-Man erections and more.

Tips submitted by the likes of troi, SlyDante777, Citrus_King, rkwsuperstar, Dr.Gonzo82, GreggoryBasore, NOT.DrAbraxas, andre_morelo, skrag2112, Gallen_Dugall.

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The 10 Biggest Revelations in America's Zombie Defense Plan (and Their Real-World Implications)

Tuesday, May 20, 2014 at 6:00 am

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Late last week, the Pentagon released to the public, CONPLAN 8888-11: Counter-Zombie Dominance Operations, Basic Plan. It highlights US military response to a hypothetical zombie uprising on American soil or abroad. According to US Strategic Command Media Relations Officer Lieutenant Colonel Stephanie Bounds, the document was the result of a training exercise meant for officers to build an operations plan for an absurd situation. The use of zombies as an antagonist allowed for out-of-the-box and creative thinking, rather than strict, by-the-book planning. She was very quick to stress that the document is not an official plan for use in any anti-undead action, but was rather just the result of some creative, unknown officers brainstorming a unique response to an apocalyptic scenario.

Regardless of its origin, CONPLAN 8888 provides a stunning look into the minds that protect this country from all enemies foreign and domestic. As fantastic as it may be, its measures for zombie defense could easily be applied to other, more realistic threats like viral pandemics or even cyber warfare. It also give a frightening look into what potential responses could be used during times of crisis that lead to times of desperation. Here are ten surprising things you may not know about what could be our nation's zombie response. Set us at ZOMBIECON 1.

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"Steadfast Stanley" - Dog Seeks Boy in the Zombie Apocalypse

Tuesday, May 6, 2014 at 10:00 am

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Though his master is dragged away when the world goes to hell, Stanley is as single-minded as only a dog can be, with just one thought - get the light-up sneaker back to his master.

But we've all seen The Walking Dead. What are the odds that the kid's even alive? If you shed a tear for Seymour and Fry in Futurama, you'll want to see what happens next...

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