•   The ONLY colon therapist who is delivering a message supportive of a special healing relationship between the brain and colon.

• It is too late for me to win but I figure I'll share my horrific story so it didn't happen to me in vain. I've been to my fair share of cons but nowadays I don't go for fun, I work at cons in a retail capacity since I work at a comic store. I was working our both at AnimeNorth one year and it was crazy busy. I was taking money and answering questions without even looking up because I was doing so many things at once. Well, one thing did stop me dead in my tracks. Someone handed me money for a purchase and the money was so soggy I had to stop to examine the money to make sure it was money and then I made the mistake of looking up as I handed him his change. In front of me stood a very fat man. He was wearing a white soggy t-shirt (or bedsheet, who could be sure really) and was just dripping with sweat . This would be bad enough, having just handled his $20 bill covered in his buttery perspiration but it got worse. He took his change and proceeded to put it down the front of his shirt and between his boobs! Yes, my hands and his money were covered in his man mammaries sweat. I later spotted him again and noticed him handling a small purse on a necklace around his neck. He had a tiny purse nestled between his tits. Which at least explained why he put his change in between is man-titties but did not make me feel any cleaner.

• Holy Flying Shit, D does not win. Entertaining and embarrassing, yes, but not on par with the rest. Also, @Hollowedout, you had me on your side until "EPIC FAIL" Get over it. My vote goes to stealing a comic book from a dying child.

• I feel for Marina Sirtis and the people who ran into her...but to have someone you admire say that they would kill you (even if in jest)...I nominate JPyke.

• I was at Magfest last January (I believe) and there were many shameful moments but the one that got to me was the fail that occurred between to world champion arcade game players. Walter Day (Ref from King of Kong) was there so you know it was legit. Well these two guys are going at some game that resembled both snake and pacman and they are competing for the world record. These two guys were just machines, taking five minutes to scarf down food and then get right back into it. After 48 or so hours of straight playing, one of the guys' machine breaks. I never saw any of this (I was passed out in an elevator) but I might have shed a tear for the fallen hero if I was there.

• Though <b>D</b>'s story is quite embarrassing, I have to go with <b>Bill</b>! Clotheslining a TV star? Absolutely hilarious! There are a lot of others that were good, too.

• At CosCon in Colombus OH a few years back, Gene Roddenberry Jr. was signing pictures of his dead father for ten bucks a pop...He couldn't be aby more of a whore if he offered to blow ya for another 10 spot...

• I've only ever been to one con, back in High School, and for some reason I don't even remember the name (In Boston, started with A). What I do remember is crowding into a small room to watch Princess Mononoke. About halfway through, the smells, darkness and movie motion started getting to me. I rushed out of the room, bowling over a half dozen large people in the process, and buried my head in a hotel trash can, puking for I don't know how long while a Klingon played a grand piano nearby.

• Like my countryman, TheTallest, I've never been to a 'real' con, but while visiting friends in the big city for a weekend, we decided we'd all go see the Lord Of The Rings exhibit at the Power House Museum. The Power House is like a technology museum with an emphasis on kid friendly fun. Anyway, the exhibition was just inside the museum and there was a massive line. So we lined up and began telling bullshit stories to each other to block out the ADD kid and his irate father having a mutual breakdown just ahead. The line moved in clumps until Irate Dad and Son were let in and we were right at the cut-off point. The usher was an attractive young woman in a fair comparison of an Arwen costume complete with elf ears. She was kind of apologetic at stopping at us, but looking back on it it was probably because she'd made a little allowance to get Irate Dad and ADD Son in and out of everyone's earshot. So one of my friend has been carrying around a disposable camera and he asks "Hey, can we get a photo with you?" "Sure," says Arwen and he gets one of us to take a snap with her. "Okay, can we get another photo and this time can you pose a little like this." "Sure," she says with a little look of confusion. This time more of my friends get in on the shot. Finally my friend says "Okay, this time I'll crouch down on the ground, and you can like, put your foot on me." Now Arwen has got this look of confused disgust on her face and we all feel a shame as a little bit of everyone's innocence dies in that cue. But it made for a kick ass photo.

• Bill really should win this. Nothing can beat accidentally beating down Counselor Troi.

• I took part in a team trivia contest at a con in Minnesota a few years ago. I was branded an "übergeek" by all present, because, as one of the organizers said to me afterwards, I "answered WAY too many questions, dude." The last question was something like "What historical event caused the premiere episode of Doctor Who to be repeated the following week?" Not only did I know the answer off the top of my head, I assumed that EVERYONE ELSE knew the answer as well, so I was frantically button mashing at the word "Doctor", while everyone else looked at me, bemused. Just had to say that, even though I think this story doesn't hold a candle to most of the others in this thread...

• I would have to give it to <b>BorgQueen</b> because I did the same thing to Grant Morrison at SDCC '08. How do you sum up years of life-changing fandom into a ten-second soundbite without sounding live a raving lunatic? But that's not my most shameful moment. It was seeing Joe Turkel (Dr. Eldon Tyrell from <i>Blade Runner</i>) at the LA Comic Book and Sci-Fi Con where he was selling autographs. I had recently seen MST3K's episode "Village of the Giants" in which he has a small, inaudible role. So rather than talk about how great he was in BR, I thought it would be funny to instead ask if he had any signed photos from Village of the Giants -- a not-so-great movie he barely remembered. His nonplussed reaction put my failed attempt at humor in sharp relief, so I quickly went on my way without even buying anything from him. I basically stopped to tease an 80 year old man.

• I have to go with the person who got licked by Man-Faye, shameful and disturbing. I would feel sullied and have to go stand in a shower reciting "so dirty" over and over. Then again I don't go to Con's, LAN's are about as far as I go and they don't tend to be too bad. Especially when you run them yourself. But maybe that's just Australia

• It was the first con I had ever gone to, a very small one called Exoticon held in Louisiana. Some good friends ran the gaming area and another friend was the driver for the guests, so I got roped into going. I was standing in the lobby of the hotel one evening waiting for my driver friend to go eat and I noticed this guy standing near me. He was having some sort of issue with his phone. He had black curly hair, kinda on the small side and wearing a denim coat. "Having problems?" I asked all friendly-like. "Yeah, bloody phone,' he responded. "Interesting accent. Where are you from?" I replied trying to make conversation. He gave me a look I couldn't place. "England,' he said quickly and went back to his phone. Just then my friend walked up to me. "Oh, I see you met Neil,' she greeted me brightly. Neil Gaiman looks over at me again. "Nice to meet you." ******* Yes, my con shame is not recognizing Neil Gaiman when he was standing right freaking next to me. In my defense, the pictures on his books cover part of his face and seem to have been taken awhile ago!

• Me and one of my buddies were drunk and bored one night at Monster Bash, so we headed to the lobby to look for some trouble to get into. We found a box of "STAFF" t shirts behind a podium, put them on, and then ran around harassing all of the other drunks that were still up, which I'm sure was obnoxious but to us it was funny. Somehow we ended up hanging out with Reggie Bannister from Phantasm (who must have been fooled by our STAFF shirts), who was even more drunk than we were, and we were shit-faced! We thought this was one of the greatest moments ever until Reggie started talking about his music career (?), and he got very emotional about it and broke down in tears. My friend, who was overcome with compassion, also started crying, and he and Reggie Bannister hugged each other, and my friend told him, "It's alright, man," as they were hugging and patting each other on the back. After this we put the shirts back where we had found them and quietly walked back to our rooms to pass out, as this scenario had effectively killed our buzz.

• I've never been to a con, so I can't contribute any amusing stories. However, I think Kbarb should win it, mostly because I reemember his story after looking at the rest. Also, D's story is embarrassing, but it was unintentional. Kbarb made a decision to steal from a possibly dying person. That's some real shame.

• I'm gonna have to go with D. That's all kinds of shame right there. And also gonna have to say that people wanting to see her in a wet t-shirt or whatever need to google themselves some porn.

• Once I was at a convention and I cosplayed a Naruto character. My first convention, as a matter of fact. Back in 2005. I was the only person cosplaying said Naruto character (Yakeshi Kabuto). I was glomped. A lot. I hate women. Especially women cross-playing as Kabuto's boss (Orochimaru). Who thought that I had to do things for them to be "in character." No. Fuck you. I am not buying you a sandwich.

• My most shameful con moment is probably attending Hentai Fest at A-kon 19 with my wife. Before you dismiss that as not being terribly shameful, it's not the fact that I was watching cartoon porn, or that I was watching cartoon porn with my wife, even though she's never seen any before. It's that I was watching cartoon porn with my wife while sitting in a crowd of several hundred mostly overweight guys who smelled like they hadn't bathed after a full day of wearing their heavy costumes out and about on a hot and humid Dallas day, or quite possibly in the past several days, while exhibiting far too much enthusiasm for what was, after all, just dirty moving pictures (<i>extremely dirty</i> moving pictures). And all this because she wanted to know what it was all about. Suffice it to say, after seeing some of the more improbable acts in the films, she decided it wasn't what she thought it was and we could leave.

• Many years ago in Convention, called Starbase Tulsa, which featured the Doctor Who crowd at the time. I remember getting drunk with author Arthur Wilson "Bob" Tucker . He held court in the Hospitality suite, and in those days it actually had beer and liquor besides the pop. Told allot of stories of which none I can remember. He also liked to smoke cigars. He was very nice compared to allot of the other celeb's and authors. I think I have a paperback with his autograph. And another I went to a Electric Light Orchestra concert. I was in one urinal and next to me was the Violinist,Mik Kaminski, I looked up and said "Hey" which was a very popular expression in those days. He just looked scared to death."What am I going to do"? He might have asked himself. I was thinking "IF they are so famous", couldn't the show have gave them a private dressing room? Close as I been to greatness.

• there's different kinds of shame to these stories, violent, gross, creepy, guilty, and innocent. while it may have been interesting to see, i wouldn't want to encourage any more aggression on marina sirtis. while i pity Lo Pan's creepy shame, and T-cake's face-licking, armpit-mashing horror; and feel disgust at Kbarb's sheer opportunism; i decided not. D's ability to grin and bear it was innocent as well as outstanding, but i'm afraid it would be more to my shame that i would have enjoyed the situation too much, certainly beyond any amount of crying children to distract. BorgQueen's post had me laughing. maybe i've been there too; i don't know. i'd pick her.

• &#64;orpheuswaking Did she sign it? Come on, that's ACE! She's was easily the best of the companions. It's worth any humiliation for a signed nip shot.

• C'mon! I knocked Marina Sirtis on her butt! I can't loose to a chick who SUPPOSEDLY flashed her boobs and ALLEGEDLY made her sister cry. I assaulted a celebrity and ran from the scene of the crime!!! LOL

• I'd say that D wins, tho they guy who knocked Councilor Troi on her ass comes in a close second.

• D wins, though I wish you assholes would stop compounding her shame by insisting on topless or otherwise sexual pics of her! For shame! Go beat off to those Victoria's Secret catalogues you've swiped from your neighbor's mail and have hidden under your couch and leave the poor girl alone!

• BTW I say D wins... if only that she made her sister cry... Although I still insist we need photographic evidence.

• So I was at a Doctor Who convention in London. The series was over and the only reason for the convention was the release of the Absolom Dakk graphic novel... In attendance were Sylvestor McCoy and Sophie Aldred (Ace.) Well at the age of 16 she was the hottest character I knew from UK television... Anyway I had writen to the BBC and recieved some press photos one of which showed Sophie in a cute white top with a huge case of turned on headlamps ;-) Of course this was the photo I wanted signed... There I am nerdy (and I mean really nerdy) 6'2" 16 year old skinny fan boy asking sophie to sign the nipple photo... Upon handing her the photo she holds it up for eveyone to see and says "see this is the photo I was talking about that all the boys are beating off too"... I hung my head in shame and was just glad I had already had my photo taken with Sylvestor as I slunk out of there as fast as I could...

• To me, the clear winner here is <b>Kbarb</b>. Most of these stories are great, but are simply funny, or covering someone else's shame. And while <b>D</b>'s tale of flashing is entertaining, I'd argue that it's more embarrassing than shameful. Meanwhile Kbarb's story of conflict, greed, and nerd-fainting covers all the bases. At a con, pushed beyond his limits to an act of malicious geekery -- and yet, the "victim" was enough of a pill that I can at least forgive Kbarb for his shameful act, if not applaud him for it. First prize!

• ...Oh, and by the way. D wins, but there's a catch: she has to submit a picture of her in the T-Shirt, wet. Otherwise, it's down to whoever molested Marina Sirtis the best.

• ...For the past couple of years, some comic websites and blogs have been giving tips on how to survive going to the big cons like SDCC. Numbers 1 and 2 on the list have pretty much unanimously been: 1) Shower frequently. Nobody wants to smell you. 2) Use deodorants. If people have to smell you, then at least don't stink like you've peed on yourself the last year. ...The sad part is that despite this advice, the Comic Book Guy types seem even more adamant about avoiding bathing and creating as much stench as they can in retaliation for being told their personal hygene is worse than an abbatoir. If the con holders had any balls about themselves as well as concern for those attending, they'd put up signs at the entrance and in the rules of acceptance that state specifically if there's too many complaints about someone's body odor, that person will be made to leave the con until they correct the problem. Nothing fouls up a con experience than some smelly geek to whom hygenics is an unknown concept. Well, that and some of the real RETARDS, but that's another story...

• Went to MegaCon 05 and 07...I swear to GOD that some people there have taken less showers than a cat. Half the people attending look so much like the cast of "Quest For Fire", I was expecting to see Rae Dawn Chong getting gang raped by the crowd. One guy was wearing sandals, yet hadn't cut his toenails or washed his feet since the day he was born. Don't even get me started on the 400 lb guys trying to squeeze themselves into a Batman outfit, or even worse, a Sailor Moon uniform *chokes on vomit*. Dudes, if you're going to cross-dress, do it right and TUCK IN YOUR PACKAGES! Seeing "Wonder Woman" sporting MAJOR WOOD fucked me up for life! I would pay big money to see Marina Sirtis lose her shit at a Con and start beating the fuck out of some fanboys! BTW, I'm going to steal that "I love (rooster)" shirt idea...there's at least a couple of hot guys at MegaCon, and it pays to advertise! 8^D

• mermista, that is one fine story

• One guy in particular at my local comic shop my best and I really hated. He's a talker, an idiot who thinks he's smart, a smarmy asshole and is a serious lard ass to boot. Imagine our joy to discover he's at Comic-Con San Diego too- dressed as Batman. He's using some control-top spandex, but still looks like 300 lbs of shit in a 150 lbs Batman costume.<p> He is, of course, at the DC Nation panel, and is also, of course, going to ask a question. Countdown was going on, and Jimmy Olsen got crazy powers, and they had just released a trade call "The Many Transformations of Jimmy Olsen," full of silver age stories where Jimmy got powers. This ass, who thinks he's so goddamn clever goes, "Uh, does your release of 'The Many Transformations of Jimmy Olsen' have anything to do with Jimmy's current situation in Countdown?" Clearly only he figured this out and wanted everyone to know, with his asshole-tone and need of a gym membership.<p> Justin Gray, without missing a beat, says, "I thought you were the world's greatest detective."<p> I read any and all of Justin Gray's books since that beautiful day.

• ** Edit It's supposed to say: I Heart (Picture of a Rooster)

• My story is from WonderCon 2006 in SF. I was walking the isles looking at the wares when I turn the corner and I see a huge (easy 250+lbs) guy wearing a purple shirt. A purple shirt that says: I <3 (Picture of a rooster) I stand dumbstruck, utterly confused.. am I misinterpreting it? Is it really, I heart cock? I called my friend over and asked him if the shirt said what I think it said. "Does that say what I think it does?" "Looks like it." "Maybe he's trying to be ironic or something?" "Nope, looks like he just loves cock." Oh and being the only person inline to see Frank Miller with a non-sin city thing to sign (Robocop V. Terminator) and Mr. Miller saying "thank god, not another one."

• Ha HA, I have been following ToplessRobot for a while now and finally I can contribute to the madness. So my friends dragged me to this really crap con in St. Louis. Honestly, the only reason I went is because it was my birthday, so I was drunk by noon. Why else would I tolerate having some old guy who looked like the Monopoly Man's alcoholic brother tell me I had a nice ass? Anyhoodle, this guy who was, I hazard a guess, the "event coordinator" for this ridiculousness came up to us. He looked like a cross between Tommy Chong and William Murderface, if Murderface fell out of a truck and rolled around on the interstate for an hour. Tommy Chong already looks like that. He came up to us and in a tone of voice and demeanor reserved solely for funerals said: "Guys, uh, I'm sorry to tell you this, but, the rave got canceled due to the bar mitzvah." It took me a whole ten minutes to process that statement. That had to be the greatest thing I had ever heard in my life. I want a t-shirt with that on it. It turns out that the idiots who ran the hotel triple, yes TRIPLE, booked the con with not only a hardcore hassidic bar mitzvah, but also a TRADITIONAL JAPANESE WEDDING. The lobby looked like a scene from Kentucky Fried Movie. I'm fairly certain that the sixteen, whale-sized Narutos (Naruti?) running around giving free hugs resulted in the entertaining confrontation between the hotel management and the wedding party. I guess my shame is for the managers of the hotel who had NO idea what they were getting into.

• &#64;ZeroCorpse: I'm not a "Really Hot Girl", but you can go to a con with me. Mostly because I'm curious to go to one, but not with someone who is a) rabidly obsessed with them or b) going to slip me a roofie, dress me as a Chobit, and rape all my orifices. Though you might be that guy; I don't know. >.>

• Longbowhunter - Someone already wrote about CIII, which I agree was way oversold and crowded, but CIV takes the cake for con suckage imho. 4 days of nothing to eat but Subway and Ihop (surrounded by bums peeing on the sides of buildings) sure made me nostalgic for Indy, being able to walk from my hotel room to the con without ever going outside, and passing 20+ different restaurants on the way!! Hollowedout - Your story reminded me of one other not really shameful but still hilarious moment from the Star Wars Celebration. Carrie Fisher was giving a talk/interview/Q&A. At one point during the interview, she turned from the interviewer (again the Jango Fett guy) to the audience, and said, "A lot of children love Star Wars. You love Star Wars because your parents <i>made</i> you love Star Wars. And for that, I am soooo. very. sorry."

• I'm a little conflicted now. On the one hand, you have the whole flashing the con/making your sister cry one by D, but it's between that and hitting a famous nerd celebrity in the face.

• I think D wins, for two reasons. One, if she doesn't than you have to choose between one of the Poor Marina moments. And two, except for said Marina moments, most moments have simply been the I was there to see this. She not only has the shame of flashing the con, but also making her little sister cry, no one I have read tops that.

• I was at Wizard World Philly (before it sucked hardcore) when Kevin Smith was the guest of honor. The line to see him was way too long for me to waste my time standing on. As luck would have it, I was later in the vicinty of a wild mob outside the men's room. At the center was Kevin Smith. His handler tried to appease the mob by explaining that Mr. Smith would sign autographs after he went to the bathroom. Being a courteous fan, I joined in on the bumrush. We were mad like the world's least errotic Bacchates.I grabbed a random vendor flyer in his face and shouted "Mallrats was great!" He hastily signed it while grunting monosyllabically as a man whose bladder and or colon was about to detonate was want to do. Then I ran for cover. I was a bit disappointed that Smith's signature looked exactly the same as my sister's, yet pleased to have been rewarded for not standing on line like a chump. It was a produd day for me, but an embarrassing con moment for Kevin Smith.

• D doesn't get the win in my book. There's plenty of better ones here. D's just seems like a cliche- like something the Revenge of the Nerds writers would come up with.

• Once upon a time I was living in KY, home of fast women and loose horses. I always read Wizard and would scan the convention calender in the back of the mag hoping someday a convention would be close enough for me to go to. One day I saw that there was to be a convention in Bowling Green KY!!! Just an hour away from where I was living! I was so excited...I had always looked at the pictures of cons in Wizard and daydreamed about what it would be like to be able to wander around a huge hall of comic merchandise and be able to socialize with my own kind (geeks) So the big day comes, I picked up one of my buddies and we started off to Bowling Green, I had a pocket full of what meager disposable income I had and we were off! Before I even made it out of the county I lived in my wife (now ex-wife) called me on my cell phone and started bitching at me about hanging out with my friend, why couldn't she come .....blah...blah...blah. I didn't let the fight with the old lady discourage me...I turned off the cell phone and soldiered on. We finally arrived at the con...I believe it was at a Holiday Inn. I walked in expecting to see people in cool, or at least funny costumes and tables and booths of comics. Instead I find a 12x20 room with two (count 'em) TWO vendors. I think I spent a total of 5 minutes perusing their crappy wares and then my buddy and I went and got a jamoca shake from Arby's and I drove back home to face my angry irate old lady. Like Ralphie exiting the bathroom in a Christmas Story I came out of that building a little less naive and a little wiser. Now I live in Alaska, were we have conventions all the freaking time! (sob)

• While at Comic Com a couple of years ago, my wife and I were getting lunch at Horton Plaza (the big mall a few miles away from the convention center). There you can usually see a bunch of "con"ers loading up on cheap mall food and hear disturbing stories from said geeks! While at the food court a family of four arrived and was looking for a table... now let's stop here. This so called typical nuclear family had a Dad, Mom, Son and Daughter. Also you have to know this family apart from the boy was HUGE!!! Fatty-fatty two by four is an UNDERSTATMENT!!! Thirdly and most defiantly most important three out of the four members of the family were in FULL KLINGON GARB!!! So can you guess who wasn't in costume??? It was the older boy!!! This kid probably has to have by now thousands of dollars in therapy!!! At the mall he stood at least three feet away from said "family" at all times... hell, he sat at a different table and played with a GBA the whole time they were eating lunch... or KLaRF (or some BS Klingon word!) The worst part of this "family in trouble" scene was the costume this freak couple of parents made the young girl wear a "Klingon" style CHEARLEADER COSTUME!!! A FAT DUMPY kid with her jelly stomach flopping out of this Klingon version of Bring It On with a turtle on her head and she was only at most 11!!! My god- this fucked up EPIC FAIL IN PARENTING is still brought up at dinner when talking about the dates for the upcoming Comic Con. Jesus people, if you are a parent and a nerd... KEEP IT IN THE HOUSE or LEAVE THE KIDS ALONE!!! I bet the boy has some serious issues today! One last thing... THEY WEWRE BIGGGGGGGGG!!!

• Oh, just the usual... The B.O., the social retards treating relative celebrities like gods, and then treating the people who are actually working their asses off like trash, the glomping and squee-ing, the ridiculously poorly organized skits, panels and contests, etc., etc., etc., ... but then the real personal embarassment comes when I realize that i KEEP GOING BACK. That is my most shameful con moment. All of them, because I keep going back.

• Ok my one isnt really that shameful but ive allways wanted to have something to say in one of these competitions so here i go... Back in my teens i was really into doctor who for a bit (like three years before it became popular again, unfortunately) and i was living in england so i went to a sci fi convention. so im there at the convention and a guy comes up to me hand reaching out smile beaming as he declares "hey kid, want to have a photo with Boba Fett?" and since id never been a star wars fan at all I just gave him a look of sheer distain and grunted "no" and he wandered off mumbling "fair enough then..." a couple of years later i walk into Norman Lovett (the first Holly off red dwarf) at my work, i freak out and ask for his signiture, the rest of the cafe staff watching my geekness, as i walk back with my prize my friend (who i had a crush on) just turns to me and says "i'd allways thought that was a pretty s**t show... ouch

• This was by far the most entertaining contest ever on ToplessRobot. Also, I had never even heard of Marina Sirtis before (not really a Star Trek fan), but I feel extremely sorry for her regardless. Anyway, I only went to one convention in my life, and the story I got out of that wasn't really that interesting considering everyone else's experiences, but still embarassing to my standards. My story? I got to watch some people cosplaying as the japanese group called Greenleaf, performing the song Yatta (there was a special category for people who wanted to do a musical number in the cosplaying contest). What's so shameful about that? Well, if you have to ask, then it's because you've never seen these Greenleaf guys. Here's a video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rW6M8D41ZWU Now, I have to say that I find it hard to even finish watching the video, because I feel THAT embarrassed for them. But imagine seeing a group of geeks doing the same number right in front of you, except these geeks are also much worse singers than the real band (you know, because being practically naked and dancing gaily in front of hundreds of people just isn't enough humiliation).

• Only at con. This was san diego a few years ago. A friend of mine was walking past lou ferrigno who was, at that time, talking to someone who had in their hands a live owl. Not wanting to miss such a bizarre opportunity my friend took a photo. The flash from the camera sent the owl into a "What the hell?!!" frenzy, leading mr ferrigno to run screaming like a wee nancy boy. course who can blame him? i would rather have my obituary read "Star of incredible Hulk NOT killed by owl." Still when you see lou ferrigno run it better be from something scarier than one owl, like 2 owls and maybe a bil bixby.

• I think I have to say,so far D wins. The poor girl flashed an entire con full of horny nerds and made her little sister cry-thats worth AT LEAST a shirt. And J-me,I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who thought Star Wars Celebration IV was a massive sack of suck. I had completed my stamp-buying shame and had already left before the bomb threat...but I did read about it the next day. That was my first major con and I had saved and looked fwd. to it for an entire year....I've had friends since then try to get me to go to SDCC but all the things I hate (lines,creepy weirdos,high prices,and massive BO) are just as bad there from what I hear. Fuck Cons!!

• Poor Marina! I felt bad for pissing her off, but at least I never insulted or assaulted her! I feel much better now. The winner here though is the girl who flashed the con. I'm sorry but it's not possible to beat showing your groceries to a large room full of con nerds.

• Well, it wasn't [i]my[/i] shame or any other con-goer's, but it took the cake for me (and that's saying something, cuz I've seen that SailorMan in person). Star Wars Celebration IV in Los Angeles. There was not much going on on the Friday, so we thought, why not try out the opening ceremonies? If nothing else, there was to be free cake since it was Star Wars' 30th anniversary to the day (this was key as there were only about 3 restaurants in the vicinity of the LACC that were open after 6pm -- there was no such thing as dinner). The ceremonies were only 2/3rds full, which we thought was weird. They were also about 20 minutes late starting, also weird. They finally got it kicked off with the emcee, the guy who played Jango Fett, singing "Celebrate good times c'mon!" Only it went on for more than 6 minutes. And those were the only words to the whole song. He kept looking off stage left confusedly while continuing to dance and sing. The timing was off when during the special guest parade... Warwick Davis walking out as the announcer is declaring "David Prowse!" and things of the like. At the end, they had to hurriedly tell everyone NOT TO LEAVE (even though nothing had been happening for several minutes) because it wasn't over, and after a few more minutes of confusion some guy in a Boba Fett costume and real jet pack flew out deafening us all with his [b]JET[/b] (that is the key word) pack. We left having eaten cake but thinking that this was pretty much the shittiest and most disorganized thing we'd ever seen. When we woke up the next morning, it was all over the newspaper that there had been a "terrorist bomb scare" caused by an abandoned suitcase outside the LACC the previous night. It seems the FBI and Swat teams had surrounded the building and locked it down. While we were inside. And the closest thing we got to a warning that there might be a problem was Jango Fett in a Hawaiian shirt, clapping his hands and singing "CEEEELLLLLLEEEEBRAAAAAATE GOOD TIMES, C'MON!!!" on loop for 6+ minutes. It was a great comfort to know that when visiting from another country, America's terrorism police have our back.

• My entire trip to Boston Comic Con last year. I had never been to a comic con before, and wanted to after seeing all the cool stuff at SDCC and the others. Peter Laird was the big celebrity that day, and I love the TMNT. So I took a day trip, to this local con, alone, because none of my friends were interested. I had no idea what I was doing from the moment I stepped inside. I had all these things to say to the people at their booths, but I came out looking like a strange and creepy staring guy at every turn. I was extremely nervous. Eventually I bought a cheap Turtles comic to have Laird sign when I went to meet him. He happily signed that and chatted with me, with me trying to think of something to say. He was very nice and friendly. I was not. I stood and stared at him with my rictus grin and one word responses. Clearly disturbed and not knowing what to do about me, he looked around awkwardly and then struck up a conversation about some art prints they had at the booth. I slowly pulled out the money for one, not wanting it but unable to think of another course of action. Then I slipped away. I guess I was on fire, because as hard as I tried, my "chat" with the Atomic Robo creators went similarly. Fortunately, a local creator caught me up in a funny conversation and I chilled out. I bought his book to support him, and he said he'd do a sketch for me, to come back and get it in a few minutes. When I did, he didn't seem to recognize me and just stared in a confused way while I talked. I gave up, went home, and cried.

• My entire trip to Boston Comic Con last year. I had never been to a comic con before, and wanted to after seeing all the cool stuff at SDCC and the others. Peter Laird was the big celebrity that day, and I love the TMNT. So I took a day trip, to this local con, alone, because none of my friends were interested. I had no idea what I was doing from the moment I stepped inside. I had all these things to say to the people at their booths, but I came out looking like a strange and creepy staring guy at every turn. I was extremely nervous. Eventually I bought a cheap Turtles comic to have Laird sign when I went to meet him. He happily signed that and chatted with me, with me trying to think of something to say. He was very nice and friendly. I was not. I stood and stared at him with my rictus grin and one word responses. Clearly disturbed and not knowing what to do about me, he looked around awkwardly and then struck up a conversation about some art prints they had at the booth. I slowly pulled out the money for one, not wanting it but unable to think of another course of action. Then I slipped away. I guess I was on fire, because as hard as I tried, my "chat" with the Atomic Robo creators went similarly. Fortunately, a local creator caught me up in a funny conversation and I chilled out. I bought his book to support him, and he said he'd do a sketch for me, to come back and get it in a few minutes. When I did, he didn't seem to recognize me and just stared in a confused way while I talked. I gave up, went home, and cried.

• D - you win. I have no authority to award the prize, but trust me, you win. If not the official contest, then at least a permanent place in our hearts. Moderator, please forward her t-shirt to me. D, where would you like to meet to pick it up? :-)

• oh no, poor D, at least your boobs weren't ginormous My story...errmmm which one to tell. Guess it's gotta be the Canadian guy at the con rave... So it's my first convention, I was terribly shy and avoided atention by not cosplaying and blending in with the wall. Some people did see me and encouraged me to dance and told me I was cute, and they were nice about it and let me go when I wanted to. Then came Mr.Canada so named because he found it soooo important to tell me he was from Canada. He asks if I'd like to dance, and I did a once over to make sure he wasn't creeperish and he passed the visual test...Weeelllll he danced like he was one of those popular guys and I was his sluttly girlfriend(though my look of terror made me look like a scared shy nerd girl that I am) Finally he stops dancing and drags me over to his group of friends, some guy in a "bathrobe" with a fake pipe, and a skanky nurse...They had to be in their 20's at least, but nnnoooooo Mr. C informed me "oh, wow I'm only 15!!"(after I told him I was 16)and then asked me some questions all of which translated to "can I come to your hotel room and have sex with you?" The first chance I got and snuck away from him and didn't see him the rest of the night. And during the whole thing, a look of pure terror mixed with a "please save me" look was on my face. Looks like I'll never be able to go to my prom without being afraid of testosterone-ified 15yr.old Canadians asking me to dance

• I met Adam West and Burt Ward at a Car-Show for Custom Vans when I was a kid. Thats all I got.

• Yeah, I've got no horror stories either. (Although, I've never overnighted at a con.) That said, I think that clotheslining Troi has to have the biggest ZOMG moment. And ditto what Esbat said.

• I have no con story but I have to say for the past few months I've spent hours at the Sunday night before bed reading all the entries to the contests. Its part of the joy of visiting Topless Robot, half the TR fun is the content and the great spin by Rob and the staff, and the other half is the personalities of the other readers. This place is not some kind of sterile "social networking" environment but rather denizens of the world who happen to enjoy the internet shooting the shit.

• AND I was techinically cross-dressing. I need a drink.

• I've been to many cons... and I was a cosplayer. That's shame right there...but thankfully - I'm a girl and adorable (size 0-2 5'6''B), so my nerdiness was fun for me and embarrassing only for my loved ones. Except once. I was cosplaying as Beramode from War of Genesis- one of my favorite costumes. I spent waaaay too much time and money on it. http://membres.lycos.fr/astriaweb/Cosplay/WoG/Beramode.jpg Now - that person there is very pretty, but there are two 'problems' I had to work out. One being, that the shirt is open. And two being.. that Beramode is 'technically' a guy in the way only gender can technically be anything when we're talking about Japan or Korea. I worked out the problem by using surgical tape to tape myself down around my back from behind (that sounds... just about as bad as it actually was) so I could leave the middle of my chest clean for the open shirt. Aaaanyway, I entered into the costume contest, and had even talked my little sister into coming in a Belldandy costume I made her. She, at that point, was my biggest fan, always taking pictures of me. Very cute. So... I get up on stage...and it must have been hot because I was sweating a little... and the glue started to wear off... at the exact moment my number was called. And right there.. in front of the whole con... my B's said hello to about 400 people. If that wasn't bad enough, my sister started to cry because so many people were taking pictures and I had to calm her down... with one arm holding holding her up...and one arm holding 'myself' up as I booked it for the bathroom. I'm blushing furiously even TYPING this. I flashed a con and made my sister cry because I was trying to do a technically accurate costume instead of wearing a damn bando top. That's like... 7 kinds of shame.

• [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v85/Modrid/P1020769.jpg[/IMG] This is what happened at Animethon 15 in Edmonton, AB. I asked him what he was, and he said "steampunk evil scientist." Bearing in mind, all he had on for a "costume" was those goggles, which were being sold downstairs, makes me think his real costume was "future/current pedophile/general creepy dude." The average age of attendees was under 18, and this guy was like, 27. *shudder*

• I've only been to one Comic Con, which took place on my dad's birthday. There, I bought the Marvel KISS Super Special that was printed with their blood. I had to talk the guy down really low because I was spending the money I had set aside for my dad's birthday present. I had about $5 left for a present for him, and a nice present for my own comic book collection.

• Standing in a hotel room with hotel security and two police officers, while a twenty-something young man in a Sailor Moon outfit is being arrested for stealing from the dealers' hall, and the room is being searched for the stolen items. Why was I there? I was convention chairman. Whenever anything went wrong, guess who got the call. How had this happened? Our volunteer coordinator had set up the volunteer list so that ANYONE could access it, and this guy figured that out, and added his name to the dealers' hall night security detail. Despite specific instructions for all department heads to verify everyone who was working for them, most of them didn't do it, and this guy would up with after hours access and no supervision. Oh... and did I mention that a local television station was there that day?

• I don't have any good stories though, sorry. I've only been to one con and nothing particularly embarrassing happened there. No special guests or anything. I did however hang my head in shame when I got excited by seeing both Movie Khan and Star Trek TOS Khan. The indignity...

• O_O Good god, Marina Sirtis, the poor lady. You guys are awful. And awesome. I nominate the one guy who managed to clothesline Marina Sirtis in the face. That's just shame. Although I think he might draw a close second with the girl whose tongue turned into jelly when trying to talk to Shatner, and the Jackie Chan embarrassing question/answer session.

• I've only been to one convention, for Everquest in Chicago, 2003ish. I went with my best friend, a huge guy (6'4, solid muscle - most unlikely geek you'll ever see...and smarter than this story makes him sound). He tossed a cooler in the trunk, a duffel bag in the back, and jumped in the passenger seat. About an hour later, we were still driving and he grabbed the duffel bag and pulled out snacks. '...dude...where are your clothes?' 'In the suitcase!' 'What suitcase?' His face had a look of dawning horror. 'The one...still on the couch...' So we continued to the convention, as we were only going to make it there at 5 pm on the first day anyway, I had toiletries, and it would only be three days. Besides, we were kinda short on cash. We showed up at the hotel and discovered that the convention had double-charged for his entry, and hadn't booked us our hotel room. Just about all of our cash went into getting that room, and Sony didn't refund the double-charge for about six months. Fortunately, that first night, there was a $500 prize for winning a tournament in the new (crappy) Everquest spinoff, Lords of Everquest.

• I went on a killing spree after drinking too much Sterno during HoboCon '07 ... ;)

• I was attending one of the A-Kon's, in Dallas, can't for the life of me remember which, and I was in the dealers room, when I heard the public address system announce "Will the fat bastard please hide his bong?". A large, rather hirsute guy gets up from a table and scurries out of the room. Turns out housekeeping had found his bong, brought it to hotel security's attention (as required) and hotel security took it to con security, wishing to avoid police involvement. They'd decided to make the announcement using his badge name rather than his real name, hence, "Fat Bastard", presumably to save him some embarrassment.

• My dad brought me to my first comic convention when I was 12 years old or so. We're about to leave, and as I'm waiting to go the bathroom, some guy wants to know if I want to look at more comics. In his van. I promptly walk the fuck away, but I pretty much swore off conventions after that.

• The plan was to haul in specialists from every emergency response agency and non-profit organization from APHIS to the American Red Cross to the local dog catcher and get them all in the same building so we could get our local emergency operations plan to be a true synthesis of various fields' expertise and capabilities. Unfortunately, they scheduled the conference in the same hotel as a con. It was an unmitigated disaster for obvious reasons. The police special response team all bailed a meeting early because they had to "go fight the Klingons", we all assumed that was a euphemism for something but God as my witness we walked out of the meeting room and the highly, highly, highly trained elite paramilitary police unit was taking turns being pummeled by a dude with a fictional alien foam rubber sword. I, personally, lied my ass off about attending a boatload of continuing education units and skipped a security briefing so I could get a signed picture of Stephen Furst. I could go on. It was not our finest moment, no-sir-ree.

• So this was my first anime convention, Ohayocon 2008. My friends and I cram ourselves into this giant theater for the cosplay masquerade. Let it be said that SOME of the skits were well done. SOME of them were actually funny. Only ONE of them prompted multiple people in the audience to yell "Oh God" the moment the announcer said what the skit would be about. In brief, the skit was done by a girl dressed up as Relena Peacecraft from Gundam Wing and involved her standing on stage and ranting about her life and annoying fans for a whole five and a half minutes… Now, I tend to think I'm a pretty nice guy, so maybe I should have said something to the people in front of me who started yelling for her to get off the stage about the same time she got on it, but the shame of what this poor girl was trying to do kept me from doing anything other than laughing at the rude comments hastily drawn on my Pictochat. Thankfully, these things are recorded and posted on the internet, don't trust me, just watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjJcBcR6jak

• &#64;T-cake - My god, you have my sympathy. I was going to rant eloquent about a Man-Faye (not THE Man-Faye) experience, but it pales in comparison to your trauma. Mine was a skinny little dude dressed up like Faye. With 'help' from a friend, I ended up taking a nose dive into his pseudo-cleavage. His chest was monstrously hairy. =( But being licked and armpit molested?! Guh.

• I wasn't there for it, so I suppose this can't count as an entry, but how about the Open-Source Boob Project?

• 2 stories about my best example of a worst best friend, Toby, who believed he was Captain Kirk in real life and most of time a total dick: The first, short and sweet: We both were at one of the Vulkon's (I didn't know he was there till I saw him in the crowd) back in the '90s. DeForest Kelly was there and it got to the Q&A and he picked Toby in his old worn-out Kirk gold uniform. Toby says: "I don't have a question, I just want the honor of shaking your hand sir!" And security is going nononononoNO! But Kelly being a gracious man, lets him come up and do that. Toby shakes his hand and has this "I just banged your mom" shit-eating grin look. I stood there and just marvelled at the balls on this guy... The 2nd story is very short. Another time, we both were attending another Vulkon together, but 'cause of his job, he got there late. So, he had a badge that was way high up in the numbers (at one time, Vulkons would call you up in groups of like 1 to 50, then 51 to 100 and so on). His badge for the autograph line was frickin' 400 or 500 something. So, he would be there for hours, awwwwwwww, too bad. I was already in line, my badge like 75 or so, not too shabby. Welp, before they start, they call up the 'special needs' fans. The people in wheelchairs, disabled or otherwise handicapped, physical or mentally. So, guess who walks past me when I heard that line being called? Yep, you got it! So, as he goes past me and gets in line, I said, "Hey Toby, you know that's the handicapped line, right?" And do you know what the summabitch does?! He starts to limp and when he gets to the guy in charge of the line, he says in a voice like he has mental retardation, "Iz dis da wight wine fa da autagwaph?" And the guy says, "Sure is buddy, need any help?" And Toby says, "No fank 'ou!" and limps on and gets his autograph. After I got my autograph like an hour later, fair and square, I walked up to him and said, "Hey RETARD!" and punched him in the stomach. For some reason, he got mad and didn't want to hang with me anymore that con...

• PossibleMisnomer - I think the person that asked the question to Shiggy was from NintenDojo. If I recall correctly. Nintendo press events are filled with some of the most pathetic fanboy behavior you'll ever see in any press event.

• Sweet Jesus, poor Marini Sirtis. If this is any indication, 1 out of every ten nerds has accosted her in some way. And...now I want in on it too.

• Imagine a convention where half the celebrity guests didn't show - canceled on by the convention organizers on the morning of the first day of the convention. Imagine a convention that was barely attended and yet still didn't have enough badges printed for those who came. Imagine a convention where the idea of badges was abandoned once they realized they didn't have the security to properly police all the entrances anyway. Imagine a convention where the dealer's room opened Friday afternoon and then closed Friday evening, after the vendors found out there wasn't enough security to guard the entrances, much less their merchandise. Imagine a convention that was closed down Saturday morning by the hotel management, after the check to rent the convention halls bounced. Imagine finding out afterwards that Tim Brazeal, the head convention organizer, was suspected of <a href="http://fannishinquisition.com/forum/fedconusa/brazeal">fraud following his attempts to create a fan-fund</a> to bribe Paramount into producing more episodes of <i>Star Trek: Enterprise</i>. Such was FedConUSA – the Con that put the con(job) in FedCon. Truly a convention that shamed me for attending and shamed itself by existing.

• Can't you just make it an all-way tie for any story involving Marina Sirtis? That's my vote. And for that matter... can you send Marina Sirtis a t-shirt for her troubles?

• I was at Botcon 2000-something (Transformers convention) and happened upon voice actor Scott McNeil in the dealer room surrounded by a half dozen fans in nerd adulation mode (NAM). McNeil is a pretty outgoing guy--though he had just entered his beef jerky/lumberjack-looking phase at this point--so he had everyone rapt and happened to be signing some autographs as he prattled. Keen to avoid the abattoir-like tedium of the autograph lines later, I figured I'd take advantage of the opportunity. As soon as I enter the prayer circle though, one of these slack-faced Leukemia-looking nerds rolls up with one of those grocery store cardboard bins from the 80s full of toys, VHS tapes, glossy prints, posters, comics, books, and every other damn thing you can think of. Now, in Beast Wars, McNeil voiced like half the characters on the show, so this twit, his drooping, Novocain gob dribbling unformed monosyllables, slowly and mechanically rotates an endless hoard into McNeil's kindly, Sharpie-equipped hands. The circulation of the swag became unworldly hypnotic in its regularity as McNeil was too gracious to stop the insanity and this damp towel of a dweeb was too socially inept to realize his flagrant jackassery. Finally, a convention staffer came by to whisk McNeil off to his panel appearance...as soon as he finished another half dozen items. Needless to say, I ended up herded with bovine alacrity through two hours of autograph line all the while cursing the anemic schlub and his ill-gotten ink.

• And I just notice the 200 words max asterisk, sorry!

• A few years ago at a horror con, I met a girl, let's call her "Jen". I hung out with her and her friend all night on the first night and her friend who we will call "Mel" told me later "You like her don't you?" and I nodded and she said "AWWWWWWWWW, I think she may like you too" and Jen was super flirty and into me, as I walked her back to her room she gave me a kiss on the cheek. Next night I got invited to a big suite party and I was allowed to bing her and her friends. A new friend arrived that we'll call "Beth", whom I met in the bar. As I was trying to get a word in to Jen and Beth intercepted me saying "She doesn't know you! You're too pushy and fast! Us girls don't like pushy fast guys I dunthink--" I just walked away as she was trailing off. A lil while later I saw her outside with some guy she had only been talking to for a few minutes then *BAM* full on making out right in front of me. As I walked away I saw "Beth" full on making out with some guy she just met in front of the hotel and he was copping a feel in front of a bunch of people as I walked away I muttered "Pushy and fast, ugh.". As I went to the suite for the party and as it turns out I wasn't alone the girls and their new guys followed me up, as I walked into the suite, the doorman called to me and as it turns out the girls NAME DROPPED ME! The door man asked me if they were with me and I said "Nope, they must have me confused with somebody else" as I walked away Beth was screaming "FARK YOU!"(Not FARK) and Jen was just looking at me and mouthing "Why?" keep in mind her new guys arm was around her. Right before I walked away I looked them in the eyes, stuck up half the peace sign, and said "Sit & Spin" cocky-half smirk on my face I walked to the bar, bartender asked me what I'll have and I said "Something to take away the pain" as the smirk faded. It was the first time I got drunk. A bittersweet end to an ok weekend. Sorry it isn't really more centered on meeting George Romero & Lance Henriksen. There are other shameful painful moments, but this one seems to shine out for me.

• I was at a con last weekend attracting customers to the booth of the comic store I work at and I was collecting shots of people in costume as I was inviting them to come visit the store in costume on free comic book day. (first Saturday in may) Now as shameful as this itself might have been with me in my teeny black dress and leather boots giggling vapidly whilst passing out fliers and inviting people to come have a look at the booth this story is not about me, it is about this guy I saw who was clearly dressed up as Wolverine/Logan of X-Men, he had the white wife beater tank top tucked into his jeans, the army dog tags, and his hair styled just perfectly so naturally I went up, invited him to come down to the store and asked to get a picture and he tells me "Well sure but heheh I'm not in costume." Sure. Right. Whatever helps you feel cool at a comic con. The con continued on and i had no such repeat occurances everyone else seemed pretty damn proud to be dressed up I had a pretty good laugh about it with my friends telling them about it as we walked past him later in the day and then a couple days later one of my friends sends me a link to flickr saying "And this guy says he wasn't in costume?" it was the same guy and to complete the look he was wearing home made wolverine claws. And that to me ladies and gents is the most shameful thing I've ever seen at a con, some dork with a wifebeater trying to get people to say he looks like wolverine when he "isn't in costume" when really, yes, he is and he's trying really really hard.

• I have seen worse then a man in a sailor suit. I have seen the true horror. 30+ Year old white guy. Leopard print furry suit. Sailor moon style fuku over top. And HE WAS POSING FOR PICTURES. My friends only comment when seeing this. "WTF. No Really, What the F&^%." I need to go pull out the mind bleach for remembering this.

• Worst and most shameful Con moment would have to have been an extrodinarily UGLY man in a really awful Sailor Mini Moon costume a heavy beard and a shaved head blatently lookng up the skirt of my kid sisters Sailor Jupiter outft at Anime North 2008, the worst part was he also turned up almost everywhere we went for the rest of the weekend... it was creepy as hell! Seriously the creepyness of this dude puts the man Sailor Moon in the picture at the top to SHAME

• Hey, everyone - Remodeled Citizen reminds me; if you have an entry you'd like to nominate for the win, let me know in these comments. I'd really like to avoid bitching in the winner post on Monday.

• Not really a shameful moment for me, more like a face-palm moment for my fandom. It was AnimeFest '05, give or take a year, and one of the biggest attractions was a voice-actor panel featuring some big-name anime voice actors, the biggest being Steve Blum and Johnny Yong Bosch. Things started out with a question and answer session, and things immediately were shot to hell when a mush-mouthed idiot stepped up to the mic. He obviously had no question and just rambled on, trying to come up with something to say (he spewed out "Do you like the show Inuyasha?" at one point) before settling on the inane "Who would win in a fight, Spike or Vash?" But it got worse. The next guy to get to the mic asked this gem: "I'm late for my job, so I was wondering if you guys could give me autographs now so I can leave." I never wanted to punch someone as much as I did that guy. The actors were patient and kind enough to oblige, though Steve did order him to "Get to work!" afterward.

• T-cake for the win... IMHO...

• I'll (try to) keep it quick. Last year, I was running a last-minute Mega Man panel at Otakon on behalf of The Mega Man Network. Capcom provided us with some stuff for a raffle we did at the end: A picture of Mega Man, autographed by creator Keiji Inafune, and a autographed Mega Man t-shirt, signed by the same. Unfortunately, the blasted delivery came late (after we departed for the con), didn't even leave a notice or anything, and wound up sending it back to Capcom, leaving me thinking that it got lost or something. So at the panel, we wound up raffling off the prizes anyway. I wanted to do them as a bundle deal, as Capcom had suggested, while some of my co-panelists said we should separate them. So we did, and we got the names/addresses/etc. of the winners to take care of. After the con, I get ahold of Capcom, and later learn the package had been returned. Tried to get things worked out, and there was a snag: It wasn't an autographed shirt AND an autographed picture-- the two items were one in the same. So now we had one prize, two winners. Which lead to trying to get some consolation prizes for one of the winners, and figuring out who would get what. We did eventually get everything settled, though, more or less. And it only took about seven months. :P Lesson learned.

• I thought I should add some details to my earlier tale: One, this place was next to the airport and not in any good kind of way. Two the only things around this hotel were: LAX, The LA Main Post Office, and Jet Strip a full nude strip club... Guess where Shat probablly went to.

• Sweet Jesus...so far,half the stories on here have been about people who hit/abused/annoyed Marini Sirtis. If that poor woman ever becomes a nerd serial killer,I dont think any of us could blame her. The one and only bigtime Con I've ever been to was the last Star Wars Celebration(the one in LA) and yeah it pretty much sucked. I stood in a 4 hour line to buy first day issued Star Wars stamps for my stamp collection and then left the con to go get drunk. Then later I actually made the mistake of telling a girl I was sweet on that I stood in line at a Star Wars convention to buy stamps...I literally SAW what little attraction she had for me flee her body in terror,never to return....

• The most shameful moment I've been in was also an E3 moment. Nintendo announced the GameCube, and some moron in the audience decided he was going to try and ask Shigeru Miyamoto a question in Japanese. His Japanese was so bad that nobody could understand it. He tries to repeat it, amdist much jeering, before the presenters cut him off and tell him to just ask it in English. Then someone from a legitimate press arm (Like CNet or ABC or something) asked why Nintendo spent their entire making fun of the other platforms releasing sequels when the first 7 games they showed themselves were sequels, and then got booed by the Nintendo press. Only at a Nintendo press conference will you ever see members of the "press" booing other members of the press for asking legitimate questions. I've never been more embarrassed to be at a press event in my life. From that moment onward, Nintendo fanboys have been my least favorite fanboys ever, and yes, that even accounts for Naruto fanboys.

• I was sharing a room at a hotel with a dude from my local gaming shop. In the interest of timing I suggested: "We should arrange things so that one of us showers in the morning and the other in the evening, so we can get there early." He responded, "I only shower when I feel like I am dirty." "All right well understand this: you are always dirty. Especially during this convention during which you will shower daily. Afterwards I suggest you keep up the happen because this recent confession explains your persistent odor." That was not the first, nor the last time that I would advise a fellow gamer on the habits of good hygiene.

• There are 2 readily available at hotel nerd conventions; alcohol and weaponry. For every bottle of rum snuck in there is someone strapping steel across their back. So you mix one part fictional weapon replicas with one part hard alcohol and watch hilarity ensue. Only hilarity doesn't ensue… Around 11pm, dangerously inebriated nerds wearing makeup stumble into the halls wielding broadswords and batliffs. Security—being 90 pound volunteers—stand around helplessly and whine into radios whilst you declare yourself on a quest to slay the dragon master. This has been me... several times. The pinnacle of my 'Epic Adventures in Drunken Convention Questing' took place when I was 22. After being introduced to atomic cherries I decided that the vampire menace plaguing the convention had to come to an end. I downed my drink, brandished my weapon, and took to the hallways. After screaming my mighty war cry (belch), I eventually found my way to the dance hall. To this day I swear my drunken broadsword kata warded off the undead menace. Luckily I was able to flee before the proper authorities arrived. But whenever evil rears its ugly head, I'll be there to get drunk enough to confront it.

• This story isn't shameful for me, but it is shameful. I went to Indianapolis for the Star Wars Celebration. It was just before the release of Episode 3. That damned convention was so over sold it was rediculous. The big scam was, if you bought a $125 4 day pass on Star Wars.com, you would get preferential treatment and get first access. That was a lie. It was so oversold that it took 4 hours to get the line through the front door special entrance. The thing opened at 9am. By 10 am, they had already closed the exclusives store because they couldn't service everyone who was already back there in line. IN 11 FUCKING HOURS, THEY COULDN'T SERVICE THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO GOT IN, IN THE FIRST HOUR. WTF? So, for 2 days I wandered around not being able to access anything. I couldn't get in to the Exclusives shop, couldn't get in to see George Lucas, and couldn't access the video game tester area. They wanted extra money for autographs even with the oh so special 4 day pass. I went to indianapolis with a boat load of cash ready to blow it all on glorious exclusive star wars stuff and to get myself a marriott cock squat from a slave leia con girl. The only money I spent was on a hotel room and gas. I didn't spend a dime at the event. I refused to even buy food there. It was literally a convention center full of pissed off people like me who didn't have any fun. The only thing I did at the event was have my picture taken with a life size X-wing and I had my picture taken with this smoking hot girl dressed as slave leia. Once I got home. I was able to buy the stuff I wanted from the convention, on StarWars.com. Which is also pretty shameful, but they knew the event was handled by retards and they pissed alot of people off. I came home with the same boat load of cash and I paid bills with it. Shameful - BILLS!? It was that event that tarnished my blind raging love of Star Wars. It was never any of George Lucas' movies that made me hate him. It was that he allowed Indianapolis and GenCon to host this piss poor event. After I bought the con exclusives from Star Wars.com, I realized I didn't care about them. I ebayed them. To this day I still say FUCK YOU GEN CON. I would never go to any event they host ever again.

• My best friend and I went to a Star Trek convention back in the mid-90's. Marina Sirtis and Michael Dorn (Deanna Troi and Worf) were the guests of honor there. Security and the event coordinators seemed to have no clue what they were doing, so after the two of them got done talking on stage, they ushered them outside(?) only to realize they needed to get them back inside the building for autographs. My friend and I were standing by this door and talking about the movie "Marked For Death" were Steven Segal killed like 1800 jamacians...which we had watched the night before. I was demonstrating a rather wicked clothesline (In my opinion anyway) and just as I was following thru with it, Marina Sirtis comes walking thru the door and got my forearm across the throat! Yes, I clotheslined Marina Sirtis. My secret shame is that I beat up Councilor Troi. My buddy and I instantly grabbed our loot and made tracks out of there before she knew what (or more importantly, who) hit her!

• I got called retarded by a grown man dressed as Naruto at Connecticon '07. Good times.

• And that's mild! I accidentally punched a really good Harley Quinn cosplayer in the face! I faked (which wasn't very hard to do) A horrible voice over in a competetion for serious voice acting and got the audience to cheer and call my name everytime I went up ( I sounded like Lindsey Lohan in Robot chicken) Got forced to motor boat (screaming I might add,"NOOO! I'll scream rape!") Power girl and....the list goes on and on, If I'm at a con, something will scar me. Wow, after reading what I just typed... I wish I could make that up.

• ...I'm sure most readers will cringe at the name "Man faye" he's been seen on Tv, the internet and the nightmares of small childeren. When I was 16 years old I had no clue who he was, or that one fateful trip to an anime expo would land me in his hairy clutches. The day was winding to an end and I had seen my fair share of sober people dressed like drunken blind folk when a strange oder assulted my nostrils. It was a playful blend of sweaty ball sack, shame, and an undeserved feeling of accomplishment. Across the yard, flab clenched and puebs cascading his acne cratered thighs, was a man dressed as the femme fatale, Faye, from Cowboy bebop. I was amused at first, even laughed when I decided to ask him for a picture, I assumed this wouldn't involve touching of any kind or fear of contracting an STD. before I could finish "can I take-" He pressed me to his damp bosom and crammed my shoulder beneath his sapping arm pit. It smelled like a big mac. As my mouth, gaped in horror he showed me his appreciation by LICKING My cheek. LICKING. IT. I still ponder why I'm not a lesbian after the trama, I guess the cross dressing balanced it out enough for me to be disgusted all around.

• Well... E3 is not a con, it's an expo. But on the way home from the 2002 event, the LA airport decided to help themselves to the swag in my luggage, as well as my XBox. And the airport and airline refused to compensate me for my lost items. And since then, I only bring on carry-on luggage.

• I've gone to an uncountable number of conventions, all have had their own little stories, but one stands out that really made me squirm. Years ago, some friends and I went to a single day comic book convention in downtown Los Angeles. The highlight of the convention was an appearance by Jackie Chan himself. So the whole convention stops dead as nearly everyone gathers in the speaker area to listen to Jackie say a few words then answer questions from the audience. (This was pre-Rush Hour days) The line to ask questions grows very quickly. I was really expecting questions about upcoming movies, how he did his stunts, which accident hurt the most, that sort of thing. Instead we witnessed the following sad, sad spectacle... The first guy gets up to the microphone and after some understandable fan-boyish praise, he tells Jackie he's a martial arts student, and asks how he can get into movies with Jackie. Well Mr. Chan graciously accepts the praise and in a friendly manner explains how this guy should practice his craft, get involved in small local productions, you know the standard stuff. The guy looks disappointed Jackie didn't invite him to join his movie crew that moment, and slinks back to his seat. Guy number two gets up, and repeats the same praise and question, almost verbatim. Jackie sort of repeats his previous answer. Guy number three... same thing. Poor Jackie looks like he is starting to wonder if he's missing something in the translation. Guy number four starts the same thing, the crowd jeers him with cries of, "Oh come on..." Jackie looks more confused and those running the convention are all whispering amongst themselves. Before Guy number five can begin, the hosts of the convention finally ask, "Does anyone have a different question?" I swear, almost the entire line goes back to their seats. Eventually someone finally asks him a question about his upcoming movie, which is quickly applauded by the rest of the audience.

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