30 Great Names for Microbrewed Beers
We’ve all dreamed of dropping out of the rat-race to make one of those charming micro-brewed beers with a hand-drawn label. But it takes more than a bathtub full of hops and a dream to make a good microbrewed beer. You need a long, quirky name that makes anyone who orders your beer at a bar feel both cool and slightly embarrassed. Don’t let the fact that you can’t come up with one stop you from following your microbrewing destiny. Here are some public-domain names for microbrews that fit the bill (but if you use one, you owe us a free pint).
1. Mediocre Jumpshot Private Reserve
2. Drunkard’s Headwound
3. Benign Cyst And The Resulting Sense Of Relief Ale
4. Underexposed Picture Of Your Nephew
5. Thighslapper’s Winter Lager
6. Motormouth Coke Fiend Slams Door On Pizza Man Weissbeer
7. Retarded Scientist’s Mixed-Up Periodic Table Porter
8. Three or Four Apples
9. Exaggeration Of Dick-size Stout
10. Flaky Bassist’s Mid-Gig Sweat
11. Subtle Indictment Of Technological Progress
12. Wistful Goldfish Strawberry Brew
13. At-Risk Inner-City Youth’s Steadying Paternal Influence
14. Hard-To-Read Chinese Suicide Note
15. Inexplicable Latino Dance Craze Spice Beer
16. Hippie Girl Sandal Tan Blonde Ale
17. Lisp Of A Rustic Cartoon Gopher Cranberry Lambic
18. Fire Down At The Glassworks
19. Aggressive Come-Ons From 3 Male German Tourists
20. Angst-y Ex-Mormon In Studded Belt Amber Dew
21. Ungrateful Cyborg’s Oily Tears
22. Courtly Gentleman’s Moustache Foam
23. Brunette Flashes Leg To Escape Parking Ticket
24. Mid-Wedding Thunderstorm
25. Reclusive Pornographer’s Yeast Concoction
26. Terrifying Clown Dreams Pilsner
27. Well-Meaning Older Man Feigns Interest In Drum-n-Bass
28. Unconventional Masturbation Method I.P.A.
29. Half-Smashed Mandolin In A Gutter In Barcelona
30. Landlord’s Admonition That You Had Darn Well Better Move That Mattress Out Of The Alley Pomegranate Stout