Cartoons, Movies, Toys

Dennis Quaid in G.I. Joe Movie; I’m Not Sure If He’s Slumming Or Not


hawkquaid.pngRight? I mean, Dennis Quaid has been all over the map, movie-wise; he’s been reasonably well liked in some movies, like In Good Company and Frequency, and then he’s been in some total shit. At any rate, he’s going to be playing General Hawk, the bland guy who who created to be in charge of G.I. Joe when they figured Duke wasn’t leader material enough. That kind of irked me as a kid. Duke was clearly leading the Joe team, but was always right there fighting alongside his men (shooting lasers right over the heads of Cobra forces) and all of a sudden, this Hawk asshole shows up as the leader of G.I. Joe. Goddamn bureaucrats. They know nothing of what it’s really like to fight!

Speaking of Duke, he’ll be played by Channing Tatum, who actually playeda guy named Duke in the Amanda Bynes’ vehicle She’s the Man, as well as Rowdy Sparks in Supercross. Uh-huh. And last but not least, the evil master of disguise Zartan will be played by Arnold Vosloo, best known as the mummy from The Mummy. Seriously, if these people hadn’t cast Ray Park as Snake Eyes, I’d think they were just trying to fuck with us. (Via

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.