TR Review: The Moment of Truth

By Jason Arango

After what seemed like an eternity of being pimped by the Fox marketing machine, The Moment of Truth finally arrived last night and was brazen enough to open by declaring itself ?the most anticipated show in America.? For those not familiar with the premise, contestants undergo a fifty question polygraph test and are then put on camera and asked the twenty-one questions determined by the producers to be the juiciest. If they tell the truth they continue accumulating money, and as soon as they lie they immediately forfeit all winnings. Of course, this takes place while sitting in front of a studio audience comprised mainly of judgmental a-holes. Basically, the thought process seems to be that if you enjoy watching people pick briefcases numbered between one and twenty-six then seeing someone answer yes or no questions is probably right about your speed.

Hosted by Mark L. Walberg, you’d expect his first question for each contestant to be ?Were you disappointed when you realized I wasn’t the Mark Wahlberg?? Unfortunately, the glacially paced show pretty much consisted of straightforward questions followed by a robotic woman’s voice taking approximately 30-seconds before confirming an answer that everyone already knew had to be true. If you ask someone ?Have you ever hit a car and not left a note?? and they answer ?yes,? it seems safe to assume the person is telling the truth. A long dramatic pause is unnecessary because there’s absolutely no drama to be had.

Despite the fact that watching people answer embarrassing questions in a setting designed to maximize tension should be absolutely riveting, it somehow feels tediously predetermined. Take the first contestant Ty as an example. The man is an ex-football player and now personal trainer that has decided to pursue a half million dollar purse by airing his dirty laundry in front of friends, family, and anyone forgetting to change the channel after American Idol was over. Ty seemed like he was cruising right along and well on his way to some upper tax bracket earnings.

He’d already confessed to discretely checking out other guys’ junk while in the locker room and that he had minimal confidence in his marriage, and then a question arose about whether or not he’d ever touched any of his female clients ?more than was necessary? during a personal training session. After what seemed like an excessive amount of deliberation he finally replied in the negative and was booted from the show after the all knowing voice rejected his statement as false.

It felt like this particular question was designed specifically to make him fail. It’s a totally subjective answer that depends on how he chooses to define ?more than was necessary? at that particular moment. In the initial screening he may have thought it through as simply lingering a little too long after legitimately helping with some bicep curls, and on this night he thought long and hard about whether he’d ever grabbed a handful of boob while creepily spotting some squats. It’s like the ?it depends on what the meaning of ‘is’ is? conundrum. Poor Ty never had a shot. But then again, there is the off chance that he spends his training sessions trying to convince his clients that there’s only one way to work those glutes, and it’s ?in his pants.?

After Ty was steamrolled by fake Marky Mark, George was introduced and the audience was given a new vessel to scorn for being pretty much an average and imperfect person. For some reason innocuous and totally normal admissions are met with shocked gasps and faux surprise. It’s like a neon sign was lit after every answer that says ?pretend this is shocking? and the audience was happy to oblige. Surely George has never had a sexual fantasy while in church. ?OMG, he totally admitted it. What a perv!? As if there’s some shame in picturing your priest taking it up the ass while lecturing the congregation about the pitfalls of a deviant lifestyle. We’ve all had a day like that, and it’s called Sunday.

Sure the show’s premise has potential. But it needs to come at a more rapid fire speed. Let’s not allow the contestants more than five seconds to answer a question. It’s yes or no questions for Christ’s sake, not some complex decision like choosing between an Almond Joy or a Mounds bar. Also, let’s clean up the questions to the point where they are unmistakably Ty proof. No ambiguity whatsoever. Ideas for future questions include:

? Have you ever been so drunk you pooped on a sidewalk?
? Do you fantasize about one day stabbing a hobo?
? Are you willing to sacrifice dignity in exchange for cash?

Even though the last question seems like a formality, that would be a show we can all get behind. Until then let’s protest by staging a ?Wahlberg proper? double feature of Three Kings and The Perfect Storm. And also by pledging to watch at least ten minutes of Fear the next time it’s on Encore Mystery.

Oh, and if for some reason you feel the urge to tune in again just to see what happens with George you’re only wasting your time. He’s doomed to get kicked off as soon as they ask ?do you honestly think your fourteen-year-old boy attempt at a mustache looks good?? And he answers with a resounding ?Yes!?