Fan Fiction Friday: The Transformers in ???

starscream_and_megatron_small.jpgSorry to hide the title of this week’s Fan Fiction Friday, but it’s simply too awesome to know before you read this story. This small piece of literature is by Kettle, who has taken a common scenario in the ’80s Transformers cartoon?namely, Starscream trying to betray Megatron for control of the Decepticons?and taken it down a bold new path, unexplored by the original series. The story begins as Starcream is caught and brought before Megatron for his crimes. Let’s read, shall we?

Starscream nodded frantically. ?Yes, yes! Loyal! My allegiance is to you and you alone, mighty Megatron.?
A series of soft clicks broke the silence as Megatron removed the armour from around his waist. Starscream watched in horror as the Decepticon leader?s colossal erection emerged into view.
?Then prove it,? Megatron replied with a smirk. ?Prove your loyalty, and I may let you live.?

More than meets the eye indeed!

?As ? as you command, Megatron,? he blurted out. He turned around and leaned over a nearby console, legs apart. He looked pleadingly at Soundwave in the vain hope that the tape recorder could put a stop to this. Soundwave did not even glance at him. Starscream leaned his head against the console and braced himself for what was to come. He would not cry.
Behind him, Megatron burst into a fit of maniacal laughter. “You misunderstand me, Starscream!? he chortled. The jet straightened up and looked over his shoulder in confusion. Megatron smirked and slid down in his chair, placing his feet on the armrests. ?You are to pleasure me.?

Actually, Starscream’s desire to get rid of Megatron are beginning to make some sense.

?I suggest you brace yourself!? Starscream bragged, before thrusting rudely into Megatron?s exhaust.
?Is that it?? Megatron asked in a disappointed voice. ?I can barely feel it.? Starscream?s optics blazed with anger.

I assume this is something like Patty Hearst Syndrome.

?Two minutes, nineteen seconds.?
Angrily Starscream pulled out and twisted to glare at the tape player. ?I was up for longer than that!?

I’ll skip the rest, and you should all get down on your knees and kiss my clown feet that I’m doing so. Seriously, don’t read the whole thing, especially if you’re eating, about to eat, or have just finished eating.

Oh, and the title of the story? “Welcome Home, Noble Voyager.”