Hasbro has unveiled many, many awesome classic-styled G.I. Joe figures and vehicles, which you can almost certainly see elsewhere. And admittedly, you can likely see what I’m about to show you elsewhere, but I’m so delighted by these toys that I had to share them with all (3 to 4) of my faithful readers. So the thing I remember most about the G.I. Joe cartoons were the two 5-part mini-series, which ran all week; these would have the Joes scouring the planet (along with Cobra) for elements/parts/things that powered some new weapon of Cobra’s. Hasbro is going to make both of these weapons, the MASS Device and the Dominator, both with figures, and both are totally awesome.
Let’s start with the Dominator battle pack:
The figures include Lady Jaye (hotcha!), Destro, and Roadblock being raped by Japanese hentai-style tentacles.
Now the MASS Device pack:
These figures include Snake Eyes, a Cobra Trooper, the Baroness in a wet suit (oh, that is indeed her!) and Stalker.
But check out Snake Eyes?notice the reddish glow he has about him? That’s because in the MASS Device 5-parter, he personally found and carried some radioactive crystals (needed to power the Device) down a mountain before he collapsed from radiation poisoning. But it gets better, because he was found by a blind man (at the foot of a mountain), who cured him with SOUP. RADIATION-REVERSING SOUP.
I love these toys.