Video Games

Mario Kart Wii Reveals New Methods of Douchebaggery

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Finally! A long-awaited clip of Mario Kart Wii has arrived, and while I could claim that we’re interested in seeing the tracks, the new motorbikes, or even the tricks you can perform during jumps…that’s not true at all, is it? We all just want to know about the new ways we can dick over our fellow racers at the last second, thus cheating them of victory. I saw two?a squid item that shoots ink over the screen, preventing the driver from seeing, and the something that turns you into a huge Bullet Bill. Sure, you have to steer it, but c’mon?bullets always get the right of way.

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.