Marvel Takes Unsettling Interest in Small Children
You guys know about Hasbro’s Superhero Squad, right? The kiddie Marvel Superhero toys that look like the Star Wars Galactic Heroes and Transformers Robot Heroes? Well, deciding that driving from elementary school to elementary school and handing out comics from an unmarked van might be a bad idea, Marvel has decided to make a cartoon based on Superhero Squad for the kiddies. Gets ’em while they’re young. Sez the Hollywood Reporter:
The Marvel Entertainment division said it is producing 26 half-hour episodes of a new “super stylized” animated series aimed at 6- to 8-year-olds. It will feature such well-known heroes as Iron Man, Hulk, Wolverine, Thor, Fantastic Four and Captain America; all occupy a caricatured Super Hero City and are thrust into humorous adventures as they thwart the villainous plans of Doctor Doom, Magneto, Loki, the Abomination and others.
The cartoon would premiere next year. My one hope is that since Hasbro made a Superhero Squad Ultimate Giant Man for the line, he’ll also show up in the cartoon as well, and hitting the Wasp and attacking her with bug spray. Because I don’t think it’s ever to early to teach children that assaulting women means Captain America will beat the ever-loving shit out of you.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.