Milk Does a Vengeance-Fueled Body Good
Far be it from me to decry the benefits of milk?if we didn’t have milk, we wouldn’t have chocolate milk, and that’s a life not worth living?but I can’t help but think the National Dairy Council or whoever does these things has grossly overestimated the role of milk in Batman’s war on crime. Here’s how I see what fuels Batman:
1) Years of training with martial arts masters
2) Billions of dollars to buy armor, weapons, cars, gadgets and other nonsense
3) Psychotic obsession due to murder of parents as child
And somewhere around #25 or so, right after “unnatural obsession with small flying mammals” maybe I’d put milk. But whatever.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.