The Dragonball Movie Is Trying to Kill Me

The Japanese movie mag Roadshow has more pics of the live-action Dragonball cast, and as much as I knew they would upset me, I looked at them. And because misery loves company, I’m showing them to you. Here’s pretty much the full cast in costume:


All right. I’m going to try to refrain from raving about the wild, needless deviation from source material, about how they clearly don’t care about the DB/DBZ fans, when only DB/DBZ fans would pay $10 to see a fucking U.S.-made Dragonball movie anyways. But a few notes:

? I love how they have the manga character pictures next to them. It really helps, since you’d have know idea who these people were playing otherwise.
? Yamcha. With frosted blonde hair. You have got to be shitting me.
? Chichi looks…like nothing. Like some totally random, nondescript girl who could be in any movie. There’s absolutely nothing to distinguish her as being in Dragonball.
? To transform Chow Yun-Fat into Master Roshi, they PUT HIM IN A FUCKING HAWAIIAN SHIRT. No beard, no turtle shell, not even sunglasses. I’ve seen 5-year-olds make better cosplay than this.
? Justin Chatwin’s hair actually looks pretty good in the above shot. Unfortunately, it now calls attention to his freakish large forehead and his dead eyes, which have surely allowed him to see what a debacle this movie is going to be,

In summary: WHY WHY OH GOD WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME YOU EVIL BASTARDS I HATE YOU I HATE YOU DIE DIE DIIIIIIEEEEE (Via ANN and the DB Movie Blog)