Tonner Raids Tomb, Finds Doll Masterpiece
If you’ve gotten burned out on Lara Croft because of the long slew of terrible Tomb Raider games, I understand. If you don’t like Tonner’s dolls because of their femmy, creepy baby faces, I also understand. If you were irked because Tonner’s “mystery” for the toy they were revealing at Wizard World Chicago was stupid because anyone with three firing synapes in their brains could tell it was Lara Croft, I understand. If you’ve never liked the Tomb Raider games or Lara Croft for basically having huge virtual tits, I understand as well.
But no matter what, I think you have to admit this thing is gorgeous. She’s 17-inches tall, has rooted hair that doesn’t look like shit, and is only $125. You can order her here.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.