Anime, Merchandise

She’s Got Bette Davis Sailor Moon Eyes


As if contacts with the mouthless, soulless glare of Hello Kitty on them weren’t enough, now Japan has taken it upon themselves to let otaku inch ever closer to anime with these anime-style contacts, which gives wearers extra-large peepers. The secret is in the tint, which is about twice as big as a normal human iris, and thus conveys the freakish mutation seen above. Feel free to pony up $50 to buy a pair here, but if I see you coming at me with eyes like that, I might hit you with a baseball bat. You’ve been warned.

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.