Suck Terribly, These Clone Wars Will

Have you felt…weird, recently? Anxious? Upset? Have you had a bad feeling about this? Chances are, your brain is desperately trying to protect you from the knowledge that the CG Clone Wars movie is opening this Friday. Warner Bros. has embargoed most review until the movie opens (always a good sign), but if you thought that Anakin’s padawan Ahsoka was going to be the worst part of the flick, please think again. Now, by all reports, Ahsoka is headstrong, spunky, sassy, and may very well say “Oh, snap!” at one point. But meet this guy:

He’s Ziro the Hutt?Jabba’s uncle and a flaming homosexual. For reals. Oh, and he speaks English, unlike every other Hutt shown in Star Wars so far, to better allow him to talk in outrageous lisp/southern drawl, a la Truman Capote. Sez MTV:

He?s a purple Hutt, bedazzling in sky blue tattoos, a peacock feather nestled behind his rumbled head, a character ?Empire Online? called ?a cross-dressing pimp? who holds court in ?Downtown Coruscant.? He?s sure to be the most talked about new character in the entire Republic when ?Star Wars: The Clone Wars? is released August 15. Jabba?s uncle, Zero the Hutt, a new character introduced specifically for the upcoming animated series, is a gay stereotype that makes what Jar Jar Binks represented to the island of Jamaica look subtle by comparison. It?s not the look or design that pushes it over the top into stereotype, of course, but the voice (performed by Corey Burden), a lispy, high-pitched twang purposively reminiscent of Truman Capote.

MTV goes on to say Lucas insisted on Ziro speaking English and his incredible voice. You know, I’ve bitched in the past about how Tatooine and Jabba show back up, yet again, in Clone Wars as evidence that Lucas isn’t creative. I take it back. It’s that Lucas’ new original ideas are the worst fucking ideas ever. I’ll take another awkward, forced Boba Fett storyline anyday. (Via FilmDrunk)