The 10 Most Awesomely Insane Nerd Crafts

mortal_kombat_kan.jpgBy Summer Mullins

This golden age of nerdery has led to one very strange side effect: nerd crafts. Sure, nerds were certainly celebrating their favorite books, games and whatever by making odd things before the boom, but their work was only available to the lucky souls living or working around the afflicted. Now, thanks to the magical wonderland that is the internet, we can all see them in their glorious tribute to their maker’s skill, mania, and dangerously large amounts of free time.

Here are the 10 most over-the-top nerd crafts found proudly displayed on the web. ?and remember, what we’re ranking here are crafts, with a certain amount of artsiness and/or craftiness, so insane things like home-made Bat-Tumblers don’t count. Now, if you are so inclined, some even come with step-by-step instructions so that you can recreate them yourself. Although if you?ve got that kind of time on your hands, you might want to consider spending it on something other than a Jabba the Hutt figure the size of your car. Like a Master?s degree.

10) D20 Cufflinks
For the discerning businessman who?s spent so much time playing D&D that he needs 2d20 to make any decision. Or maybe he?s classy enough to know that the most expensive shirts need cufflinks, but wants to keep around a reminder of why he didn?t have a girlfriend in college and was able to make it to the top of a giant software company. The fact that if you’re nerdy enough to be willing to wear d20’s you almost certainly don’t have a white collar job seems to have been lost on the maker. (Etsy)

9) Wii Cabinet
Concept and execution earns this relatively simple monument to everyone?s favorite controller a place on the list. The lovingly painted logo, the perfectly aligned buttons?made by a dad who really wants his kid to think he?s hip. Assuming the kid was younger than 8, it was probably a success. (Go Nintendo)

8) Warcraft Soap
Nothing reinforces the stereotype of the unwashed geek more than nerd soap, but considering that the addictive nature of Warcraft has led people to craft portable toilets?AND THEN USE THEM WHILE PLAYING WARCRAFT?we?ll make an exception for this fan-made World of Warcraft soap. It?s specifically formulated with shea butter to moisturize the dry skin of those who haven?t seen the light in a long, loooong time. (Kotaku)

7) Space Invaders Butcher Block
Ah, woodworking, the country grandfather?s craft. Never has it been more relevant than when used to make nerds go into the kitchen. This Space Invaders butcher block is actually meant for real use (it’s made FDA-approved food-safe glue), so slice up some fruit and save the world from aliens and rickets. (Boing Boing)

6) Mortal Kombat Toilet Lid
Prepare for the final confrontation between good and evil with?oh my god, it?s just too easy. The biggest problem is having people scream “Fatality!” whenever they take a shit in your bathroom. (Kotaku)

5) The MacPack
Don?t know what to do with that ancient Mac sitting in your basement? Save some money on school supplies! This eviscerated SE provides plenty of room for all your AP class notebooks, plus functions as a proud badge that you could probably use a chiropractor. (Instructables)

4) The Legend of Zelda Bed Set
This ain?t your grandma?s quilting! While the sheer amount of detail and craftsmanship is stunning?hey, quilting takes a long time?no one?s getting laid under this thing, not even Link. (Nintendo Wii Fanboy)

3) Pac-Man Interior Lighting
Take down all those pesky pictures of your family and dedicate one wall of your living room to your love of ghost-based ?80s arcade games. This nerdy modular lighting system came from, of all people, the French, but the high electric bill will be worth it when you inform your friends that you have a real object d?arte. (Ultra Awesome)

2) Nintendo Controller Table
This stylish and completely homemade coffee table/storage trunk combo, while awesome and clearly requiring a great number of hours diverted from otherwise fulfilling gameplay, would not rank this high on the list if it were not for one teeny little feature: It is a functional controller. Use one hand for the directional pad, one for the buttons, and pray you don’t need to enter the Konami Code. (Geek-Ware)

1) The Candy Battle of Pellenor Fields
Fuck and yes. If Tolkien weren?t already dead, he?d happily kick it of diabetic shock when he saw this faithfully recreated candy version of the epic Battle of Pelennor Fields.

From the white chocolate pretzel White Tree of Gondor to the marshmallow gardens outside the Houses of Healing to the Gummi Riders of Rohan, these incredible nerds have accurately represented the entire city of Minas Tirith, as well as the clash of different forces at the city gates. Perhaps the pinnacle of achievement, though, is the functional licorice rope Grond (the battering ram).

My favorite part of the lengthy description, which is well worth reading in its entirety? ?For two days the evil host, under the brutal licorice fist of the Witch King of Angmar?? (Missed Manners)