The New Astro Boy Is Dead to Me

Io9 found some new concept art/pics of the upcoming, American-made CG Astro Boy movie, including a pic of Dr. Tenma, who?in Osamu Tezuka’s original manga?created Astro in the image of his dead son, and then furiously cast him out after Astro wasn’t quite life-like enough for him. I feel it’s worth mentioning that the above design differs slightly from Tezuka’s original art, in which Tenma looks like this:

You may notice one looks like a terrible child’s drawing of the Professor from the Powerpuff Girls, and one doesn’t. FUCK ALL YOU FUCKERS. Goddammit. I know the American way is cultural imperialism, where we take whatever’s good/popular in other nations, and then do our own thing to it with zero cultural sensitivity or respect for the original. But did we have to do it to Astro Boy, one of the most beloved characters in Japan by the guy who is absolutely the most beloved creator in Japan? Japan made Astro a citizen; they printed money with his face on it. They call Tezuka a god over there. Now I know any American-made Astro Boy movie would have to have its own American-tailored story, but did you really have to change the character designs? Let me answer that for you: No, you fuckers. You didn’t.

I’m trying to think of something equivalent that the Japanese could screw around with to illustrate how crappy this is, but I’m coming up short. Maybe Mickey Mouse, but despite the theme parks and merchandise, he’s not as loved in America by all ages as Astro Boy is in Japan. You know, an Astro Boy cartoon was remade in 2002 in Japan, and it was pretty slavishly accurate to the original. And yet many Japanese people hated it, because they felt it still wasn’t authentic enough. When they see this shit, they’re going to vote to give themselves an army again, you mark my words.