Someone You’ve Never Heard of Is Going to Make a Hitchhiker’s Sequel

Oh, fuck no.

Douglas Adams’s increasingly inaccurately named Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy trilogy is to be extended to six titles, after Adams’s widow Jane Belson sanctioned a project which will see children’s author Eoin Colfer taking up the story.

And Another Thing? by Colfer, whose involvement with the project was personally requested by Belson, will be published next October by Penguin. No information has yet emerged about the plot of the novel but Hitchhiker fans will be hoping for a resurrection of much-loved characters Arthur Dent, Trillian and Ford Prefect, who were all apparently blown to smithereens at the end of the fifth novel, Mostly Harmless.

FUCK. NO. I don’t care that this article from UK’s Guardian points out how honored and nervous Eoin Colfer is to be writing a sixth Hitchhiker’s Guide book. I don’t care that Douglas Adams’ widow planned this thing herself and said it was okay. She’s a greedy bitch, and he’s an arrogant asshole/total imbecile for accepting the assignment. Fuck them both right in their ears, because there is no way this is going to end up anything other than a blatant attempt for cash and a total tragedy. TR contributor Chris Cummins sent me the tip, and he’s even more upset than I am. If you need us, we’ll be drinking whiskey from the bottle and cleaning our assault rifles.