These Aren’t the Star Wars Characters You Were Looking For

Unless, of course, you were looking for a Darth Vader with disturbingly tiny hands, a C-3PO with even graver sexual identity issues, and something that appears to be the spawn of an unholy union between a Wookiee and a tree sloth. These are Japanese karuta from the ’70s as found by my friendly acquaintance Matt Alt?karuta being a peculiar kind of Japanese cards that I don’t understand in the slightest. If you believe these were at all licensed from Lucasfilm, I have an awesome Blade Runner 2 script to sell you. Anyways, go see all the cards at Alt’s website here.

And while I’ve got you, let me give a friendly pimp to Alt’s new book Yokai Attack! The Japanese Monster Survival Guide. You don’t need to be an anime fan to enjoy reading about the hideous monsters who were licking bathtubs long before modern perverts. Check it out.