A Really Fake But Admirably Earnest American Hero
While we wait for the travesty of a mockery of a sham that will be the live-action G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra movie, why not kick back and watch what might have been if the project had few thousand bucks, a couple of guys with their blue belts, some hair dye, a truckload of large-chested women, a terrible rap-rock song, and far greater appreciation of the source material?
WAR MACHINE is a 95 minute action / martial arts movie coming soon to DVD. This movie is unrated and not intended for children. A terrorist force rises in the third world. It’s target, the United States of America. The US forms a new Black Operations Unit to engage this new enemy. The threat has come- Prepare for War.
I’ll be preparing for war for the rest of the night, but my apologies if you’ve 1) seen this before, or 2) sent me the tip, because I apparently lost the email and can’t credit you. Frankly, I’m not sure War Machine isn’t going to be hardcore pornography, but it’s still less likely to sodomize your childhood memories than the official thing.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.