I Have Seen the True Nature of Evil, and It Appears to Be a Jar Jar Binks Salad
I guess you can’t exactly blame this atrocity on this man, who simply wanted to make an interesting salad. He doesn’t even like Jar Jar, which is why chose him as the character to cut up and eat, after sculpting him from something called a jicama root. And yet, I can’t forgive him, because he’s unleashed a horror on the world to rival dread Cthulu, and no amount of good intentions can possibly excuse what unspeakable terror he has inflicted on myself and all who see it. If you are similarly afflicted, do what I’m about to do?wash your eyes with a sturdy steel wool brush, and drink at least a liter of cheap gin?it’s the steel wool brush of the brain. Have a good weekend, folks. (Via My Blog Rules)
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.