Miscellaneous, Movies

Duros Refuses to Let Muftak Kill Again


It happens every Friday night. Muftak comes into the cantina, orders a beer and a whiskey shot. He downs the shot in an instant, and nurses the beer; a half hour later, he orders another set. This continues for four hours. Then Muftak starts crying. About the Jawa he ran over drunk in his landspeeder. How the Jawa’s wife sued, and he lost almost everything?his family, his home, his marketing job. One hour of crying, and two more shots and two beers. Finally Wuher, the bartender, sees the signs and cuts Muftak off. Muftak gets belligerent, then staggers off to find his landspeeder, which the idiot Tatooine judge let him keep in the Jawa settlement. And Duros has to stop Muftak, try to get his keys from him, to stop him from running over some fool moisture farmer or hitting some Ronco

A half hour later, Muftak’ll be crying about what a good friend Duros is in Duros’ apartment; another half hour later, he’ll be passed out in Duros’ bed, and Duros’ will be stuck on the couch.

Every Friday night.

Thanks be to Skeletor for the tip.

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.