If Disney Re-made Akira
I think this video is supposed to imply DiCaprio’s live-action Akira adaptation, but I think it works much better as a Disney re-make of the anime classic, especially ’90s-era Disney. Kaneda’s full name is a little much, but the rest of this little video would be terrifyingly dead-on if Disney chose to adapt Akira–and if they were willing to make The Hunchback of Notre Dame into a kids’ movie, then they would have had no problem fucking up Akira. My favorite is the talking bike, which I’m sure would have been voiced by Carrot Top or some such.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.