You know, like natural disasters. Burning hot lava from a volcano doesn’t care if you’re a good person or not; it’s going to melt you anyways. In the same way, these Dragonball movie clips. You know, I didn’t think it was possible, but seeing Yamcha in the live-action movie actually gives the original anime Yamcha depth and nuance by comparison.
Lest I be accused of being a hater/poopy pants, here’s the bright side of the above horrendous clip — it makes certain other clips look kind of good. For instance, when Piccolo meets Gohan:
See? That wasn’t so bad. Some action. No one started floating nonsensically. There was very little dialogue. Admittedly, that’s the only one of seven clips over at MovieWeb that’s even slightly not mind-shatteringly awful, so do yourself a favor and don’t check them out. Especially the clip where Goku meets Bulma. Because dousing yourself in lava is frankly preferable.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.