Fan Fiction Friday: Optimus Prime in “Burst”


Why don’t you people believe me when I tell you not to look for FFF entries? Few people are soulless enough to go digging through the darkest corners of human sexuality for Goofy porn, and I’m one of them. Poor TR reader Robyn thought it’d be fun to hunt for an FFF, and found the following disaster; now she stays in bed and cries all day. Worse, since she sent it to her Transformers-loving husband, he’s moved out, initiated divorce proceedings, and refuses to let her see her kids — and after reading this story, you’ll know why no judge will ever rule in her favor.

Author Phantom wrote an intro to the story, but I want to save it for later in order that the horror can better grow on you. All I’ll say is that despite the early appearance of Ultra Magnus, this story is a one-man show.

Optimus Prime shifted slightly in his seat and gave
an inaudible sigh. The discomfort in his waste tank had been growing
ever stronger in the past few minutes. The sensation had grown from a
slight tickling to a steady pressure.

He cursed himself silently for being
such a fool. This never should have happened. He should not have let it
go this far. Normally Transformers only had to void waste every couple
of months, but the various energies on Earth did not convert to pure
energon as easily, and the impurities created a need to empty the waste
tank approximately once a week. Plenty of time to get around to it,
only he simply hadn’t. This week he had been pulled in so many
directions at once that he was lucky to remember to refuel, much less
void waste.

Optimus winced slightly as a wave of
need shuddered from the tank down his interface. He reached down and
gently pressed on his codpiece, relieved that Ultra Magnus could not
see the action from the other side of the desk. These things always
happened at the worst moments.

Optimus clenched his fist and forced his
attention back to their latest defensive troop deployment plans. Most
of his physical needs could be shut out with determined concentration,
but this time his body would not be denied. He had already waited too
long, and his tank was begging to be emptied. He was full to bursting.
He clenched his jaw and hissed softly as the pressure built suddenly,
the “full” sensor in the tank continuing to send a warning to his CPU.

Magnus’ optics narrowed as he studied
his friend, who was obviously not all right. “Come now, Optimus, you’re
not fooling anyone. What’s wrong? You know that it won’t go any further
than this room. Please tell me. I want to help.”

Optimus laughed bitterly, then choked
and grasped his cock in both hands, the tremors from his laughing
causing a few burning drops of processed energon to ooze from the tip
into his codpiece. “It’s starting!” he groaned in agony. ‘Primus, don’t
let this happen!’ he begged silently.

Funny, “Don’t let this happen!” is what I just screamed! Let’s hit the jump, shall we?

“What?” Magnus cried anxiously. “What’s happening?”

Optimus shuddered as he fought a battle
with his body, then slowly relaxed as he regained control. He lifted
his optics to meet his friend’s gaze, a shamefaced look clearly
reflected despite the mask. “I… I need to get to waste extraction

Magnus’ optics widened in astonishment,
the implication of those words sinking in. “Uh… of course,” he
stammered. “But we’re almost done with the deployment for the northern
division. We can take a break in just a few minutes.”

“No,” Prime sighed, partially covering
his face with his hand. “When my new body was designed by Alpha Trion,
he had to alter the traditional capacity of my holding tank in order to
provide extra shielding to my general interface area. As a result, I
have to void the waste more often than anyone else, and once the need
gets urgent I have to act immediately. It pains me to say it, Magnus,
but I have to go now.”

In case you thought that Optimus Prime just had to go to the bathroom, no, he has an extra-small robot bladder. It’s these little details that let me know Phantom really cares about where this little gem fits in the larger Transformers universe.

He broke off suddenly, his optics abruptly powering
down as his air circulation became slow and labored. Magnus, despite
himself, stared in fascination. He quite simply could not believe that
Optimus Prime, his commander and one of his best friends, was almost
ready to lose all control and wet himself right before his optics.
Magnus would bet his head antennae that Prime was stroking and pressing
on his shielded cock for all it was worth. A feeling of guilt nagged at
him when he suddenly realized that a part of him wanted to see the
release happen, right here, right now. What was wrong with him?

An excellent, excellent question.

Once he had regained a semblance of
control, Optimus powered up his optics, gazing at the city commander
with unmitigated humiliation. Magnus forced himself to speak. “You’re
right, this can wait until later. I think I’d better go now. Uh, feel
better.” He grabbed his papers and hastened out of the room, walking
briskly towards his own office. He shuddered as his cock rapidly
hardened underneath its constraint. He never would have believed that
such a sight could turn him on so much. For a moment he was tempted to
follow his friend and see what would happen out of perverse curiosity,
but then reason reasserted itself.

Oh, I don’t think reason has anything to do with this little tale, Optimus.

Overwhelmed by the events of the past
few minutes, Magnus knew that he would have to relieve his own needs
quickly. He ripped off his codpiece and began tugging on his stiff
erection, while a part of his psyche remained stunned. By the smelter,
he hadn’t touched himself in millennia! His unit tingled all over,
anticipating its release.

“By the smelter”? Jesus, that horrifies just as much as Ultra Magnus jacking off to the thought of Optimus Prime pissing himself, and I’m pretty fucking horrified by that.

Meanwhile, Optimus Prime was craving release of a
very different kind. Magnus had finally departed and mercifully left
him to his humiliation. First order of business was to find a
functioning waste extraction unit and make use of it, ASAP. Frantic
with need, he began to rise, then bent over and clutched the desk as
the sudden movement jarred his holding tank, causing a sudden burst of
fluid to shoot out of his aching cock and spray his abused codpiece.
Beyond pride, he whimpered and jerked his hips, trying to ease the
menacing pressure that threatened to ease in a most undesirable way.

After what seemed to be an eternity, the
pressure abated enough for him to slowly straighten. He took slow,
careful steps to his office door. The door slid open automatically, and
he glanced about nervously. Nobody in sight. Perfect. He stepped out
and headed down the hall, trying to move with all possible speed yet
afraid to go too fast. His stride was rather stiff, and he grimaced as
he felt the small amount of shed fluid slosh against the head of his
interface, almost like a caress, gently coaxing him to release.

He turned the corner and groaned
inwardly. The corridor was full of Autobots coming and going. Well, it
couldn’t be helped. He continued on, praying that no one would try to
stop him. He nodded stiffly to anyone that glanced his way. Bumblebee
opened his mouth to speak as he passed by, but Optimus turned away and
walked faster. He could not waste one precious second. ‘Not too much
further,’ he consoled himself. ‘Almost there.’

But it seemed that almost wasn’t going
to be enough. His fists clenched reflexively as his entire holding tank
began to throb insistently, warning of an impending explosion. ‘No!’ he
screamed to himself. ‘I won’t let this happen!’

“Almost” only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, Prime. Not robots pissing, although I guess the saying should have specified that.

He looked around wildly and caught sight of a nearby
door. He darted in and slapped the locking controls. Then he glanced
around, seeing that he had stumbled into a small briefing room. At this
point he didn’t care where he was, as long as he had enough privacy to
gain control over himself.

He cried in protest as a fiery tingle
suddenly raced from the opening in his tank to the tip of his cock.
Something was going to happen, and he had to stop it! He whipped off
his codpiece and grabbed the pole inside, whimpering as a brief gush of
processed energon spilled out of the throbbing head. His fist clenched
convulsively around the base. The pressure gave him the precious
seconds he needed to force closed the opening to his tank.

He drooped in relief, glad to have
averted such a massive eruption. He studied the floor in embarrassment,
a small amount of processed energon glistening, mocking him. Well,
there was nothing that could be done about that now. He’d come back and
clean it up just as soon as he gratified the all-consuming need for
release that possessed his thoughts. His hand released its crushing
pressure as he prepared to pull himself together and leave.

A cry wrenched itself from his lips as
the unthinkable happened. Once he had let go of his pole, the pressure
within his waste tank had become critical, and the need to void itself
overrode command from his cerebral cortex. The dam burst, fluid
bursting from his throbbing cock in a thunderous rush, drenching the
floor before him. His whole body shook in horror as he futilely tried
to halt the flow. His hands clamped down on the base of his pole, then
tried to block the tip, which only sprayed the liquid out in all
directions. Finally Prime’s shoulders slumped as he gave in to the
inevitable. He studied the growing puddle on the floor with despair.
There was nothing more that he could do.

He moaned as the sensation of release
hit him. Primus curse him, it felt so good! Despite himself, he
increased the flow, the expulsed liquid flying out of his aching body.
It was almost erotic the way the fluid cascaded out of his cock, the
pressure causing a shiver to pass up his spine. A small voice within
continued to berate him, then finally fell silent. It would be
impossible to stop what had been started.

And now that the heroic leader of the Autobots has pissed all over the floor, here’s where things get fucked up. You would do well to close the browser, turn off your computer, claw out your own eyes, anything, just don’t read what’s next:

Once a critical amount of energon had been passed,
the valve on his holding tank resumed its prior programming to seal
itself that had been so frantically commanded by Optimus. The steady
flow of waste trickled to only a few drops, then stopped. Optimus
sighed, out of relief, but not completely. It was now safe for him to
continue on to a public waste disposal unit without any more accidents,
yet his feet refused to move.

A strong, erotic tingle ran down the
length of his cock, very much like the one that signaled his
unavoidable release. With a shock, Optimus realized that this time it
was out of pure lust. The valve, sensing a command, opened for a
moment, spilling a few more glistening drops from the deliciously
sensitive head. One drop remained, suspended, and in a trance Optimus
touched it with his fingers, spreading it around the throbbing surface.
His head fell back as he moaned throatily, an irresistible yearning
overtaking him. “Oh gods, yes,” he gasped. He had never felt anything
like this before! His pole remained soft, erectile programming
overridden by the signals from his waste storage tank. The sensation of
being aroused while soft was to die for.

Well, I’m praying for the sweet release of death, Does that count?

He studied his pole thoughtfully, then the massive
puddle on the floor. ‘The damage has already been done,’ he persuaded
himself. ‘Finishing myself off won’t make much of a difference.
Besides, when am I going to have an opportunity like this again? I’ve
lived all my life feeling nothing but shame over my embarrassing design
flaw and humiliation whenever I had an accident. This is the first time
that I’ve had any pleasure from it, and I’m not going to let it go so

Oh indeed! It turns out Prime has been pissing himself for years — perhaps centuries — and now he’s going to take the Nestea plunge!

The valve on his holding tanks responded to his
deliberate command, releasing a firm burst of fluid, then sealing shut.
Optimus gasped, then repeated the procedure, relishing the sudden burst
of liquid, and the abrupt cutoff. He was in control this time. Finally,
with a content sigh, he resumed the process, directing the stream in a
zigzag on the floor. He smiled underneath his mask, really getting into
this new game. He playfully jerked his cock, admiring how the stream of
liquid arced. Then he lifted his pole and tried for distance, watching
the fluid fly into the air to land a short distance away. The whole
time his other hand was busy stroking the achingly sensitive cock,
keeping his level of arousal and delight high.

He groaned in disappointment as his fun
came to an end, the stream dwindling to a mere trickle, then a few
scattered drops. He shook his pole, watching the last few drops fly
off. His attention drifted from his interface to the sizeable mess that
he had created. It was then that his cock suddenly flared to life,
responding to the incredible stimulation that had enveloped it. All
rational thought lost, Optimus collapsed to his knees with an abandoned
cry, seizing his well-stroked unit and going at it full tilt with both
hands. His air intakes heaved as his internal temperature soared. His
frame shuddered powerfully, and he prepared himself for a tremendous
explosion to rival the embarrassing one of several minutes ago. The
kinky, forbidden pleasure had definitely left his mark, and all he
needed was a bit more stimulation before he would cum.


Both hands worked his cock frantically, release
reaching the breaking point. His arousal peaked, and with an impressive
roar, his cock exploded, gobs of cum shooting out to mingle with the
processed energon on the floor. Prime’s entire face twitched in
ecstasy, his head rolling from side to side, barely able to process the
incredible pleasure. Finally the exquisite throbbing ceased, and he
slumped down on the floor, drained of energy, not to mention several
kinds of fluid.

Once he had regained his strength, Prime
sat up and surveyed the unbelievable disarray of the room. He shrugged,
feeling no pinprick of guilt waiting to ambush him. He was sure that it
would arrive as soon as the delicious waves of aftermath stopped
assaulting him, but for now he was free to marvel at the bizarre events
that had transpired. Soon he would get up and see about getting this
mess cleaned up, but at the moment he wanted to just lay there and
enjoy himself. He wondered if he would ever dare to do this again. One
thing was for sure: he’d never look at waste extraction in the same way

NOR WOULD WE. Nor would we.

So let’s get this straight. Phantom has written a story about a cartoon robot pissing himself, and then masturbating imediatey after it. I know we’ve all had this fantasy, so we should all thank him for bringing our desires to life on the page. Oh, I promised you the intro, didn’t I?

Brace yourselves for this one! It’s slightly different
from my other fics. At first I was reluctant to consider that robots
have “waste processing” like humans, (esp. in the same manner) but this
is one of my cherished fantasies, so bear with me. Thanks goes to Elfie
for giving me the nudge to write this! (Sorry, Nixie, but this will be
a lot quicker to write than Oppy femme). If anyone is disgusted with
“watersports” (urination), either don’t read it or be prepared to stop
if it gets too gross for you. I promise you it won’t be as nasty as
most of the watersports fics I’ve seen out there. It’s really the loss
of control, as usual, that intrigues me!

First of all, if that intrigues you, seek immediate help. Second, fuck you, Elfie. If I ever find you, I’m going to punch you in your goddamn face.