The Most Tragic DuckTale Ever Told (Woo-Ooo)

Jesus. I wonder how many kids had to die emulating Scrooge MacDuck and jumping into a massive vault of gold coins, trying to swim but only breaking their necks — or asphixiating to death if they actually managed to penetrate the surface of the gold — before this horrible nightmare of a show was taken off the air. In related news, you’re going to have the DuckTales theme song stuck in your head for at least the rest of the day, and I’m not at all sorry because I’m still upset about the He-Man movie debacle. In answer to your question: yes, I am a horrible bastard.