The Most Tragic DuckTale Ever Told (Woo-Ooo)
Jesus. I wonder how many kids had to die emulating Scrooge MacDuck and jumping into a massive vault of gold coins, trying to swim but only breaking their necks — or asphixiating to death if they actually managed to penetrate the surface of the gold — before this horrible nightmare of a show was taken off the air. In related news, you’re going to have the DuckTales theme song stuck in your head for at least the rest of the day, and I’m not at all sorry because I’m still upset about the He-Man movie debacle. In answer to your question: yes, I am a horrible bastard.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.