Sadness Is the New G.I. Joe Movie Clip
And then it’s all downhill from there.
Mostly, it’s the horrible accelerator suit, which looks half like Robocop, half like Batman’s armor from Batman Begins, and entirely like mediocre CG. You guys will never convince me these things arebn’t a travesty. Yes, Cobra had the MOBATS SNAKES, those big suits of robo-armor but those were for nameless grunts that the Joe could shoot without qualms. The Joes (and main Cobra forces) never subsumed their visual identities to wear SyFy TV movie superhero costumes and jump around in slow-motion like the world’s least timely Matrix rip-off. They were human, and that’s why we liked them so damn much. And that’s a large part of the reason why I hate these fuckers.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.