This isn’t the newest video on the tubernets, but it’s the first time I’ve seen it, and misery loves company. Witness J-pop star DJ Ozma sings about the virtues of Spider-Man, mainly by having dozens of skinny Japanese men wearing nothing but underpants with large spiders on the crotches flailing about while Spidey himself, in an outstanding combination of his outfit and a white tuxedo, dances halfheartedly in the background. I want to make jokes, but this thing is so fucked up that my synapses stopped firing about ten minutes ago, and all I can be sure of it that this video is still better than One More Day (okay, maybe one crack.) Thanks (?) to Franco for the tip.
Okay, one more: This is absolutely Spider-Man 3‘s fault. You make a movie where evil Peter Parker dances down the street, and the Japanese thing they can take off all their clothes and make this video. This one’s on you, Raimi. Now no more fucking around.
PS — Sorry, the day got away from me. I’ll have the contest winners posted (with honorable mentions) first thing tomorrow.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.