The Transformers 2 Stupidity Does Not Stop in the Theaters


No sirree! As it turns out, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has some of the stupidest product tie-ins that the world of cinema has ever scene. Let’s start simply, with the above pic of the Burger King Kids’ Meal toy of Devastator (courtesy of Great White Snark), which should easily make any child weep at realizing the cruel indifference of the world. Even by fast food toy standards, this thing is godawful and atrocious.

Next we have official Transformers 2 jeans. They have Autobot and Decepticon logos on the buttons, via Robot Dreams. The only thing that excuses these things even a little bit is that they are Japanese, and thus I don’t have to live on the same continent as them. I admit that these are more silly than horrible, but I’m in no mood to be forgiving with Transformers at this point.


Last and certainly least, we have the Snickers Nougabot Bar. Does the word “Nougabot” confuse and disgust you? Then consider yourself a sentient human being. I had heard tell of this Bumblebee-adorned candy bar, but not seen it with my own eyes until I picked it up at the grocery store yesterday. Like its inspiration, it is a candy bar in disguise, because although it looks like a normal Snickers on the outside, inside…


..the nougat is bright, unnatural yellow, as if Bumblebee had pissed in the Mars. Inc. nougat vat. It tastes like regular Snickers nougat… that someone had dyed a hideous yellow, making the whole thing weird and unpleasant and kind of scary. It’s more than meets the eye, admittedly, but only in the sense that you’ll be shitting yellow food dye for a week after eating it. Bleagh.