Design Dungeons & Dragons Shoes for Wizard of the Coast, Never Be Cool Ever

Shoes are pretty cool. A lot of cool artists design sneakers, and limited edition shoes can go for hundreds or thousands of dollars to hipsters and art freaks and so forth. So I very much understand why Wizards of the Coast is launching a “Design the first D&D shoe” competition, along with shoemaker RYZ. Basically, you download a template, draw whatever you want — I imagine that’s likely a fighter-mage elf chicks with large breasts, but that’s just a guess — and if your design is chosen, you win $1000 and you never, ever get to pretend you’re anything approaching cool ever again. Because you designed a goddamn Dungeons & Dragons shoe.

The contest has just started, and you can enter here. Meanwhile, the real tragedy is that these demo shoes that Wizards mocked up for the contest, shown here, are so awful they’re actually kind of awesome, and I would actually consider buying them and wearing them. But I just know the instant I put them on, some 15-year-old bullies would come around the corner and beat me up and take my lunch money — a scenario that’s going to come standard with the shoes. Hell, they might as well market them as Cursed Shoes of Beatings and Thievery, because ain’t no one keeping their lunch money with these things on. (Via Geek Orthodox)