Fan Fiction Friday: Vin Diesel and Karl Urban in “For Old Times’ Sake”

I know a lot of you have wondered how I planned to top last week’s Pok?mon story. Frankly, I’m not. I hope I never have the ability to top it (although I do have a few horrible stories that come pretty damn close). Fact is, I’m just going to keep on keeping on, looking for tales of love and lust more wacky and bizarre than stomach-churningly awful, and you should probably be okay with that. And from now on, when I tell you you don’t want to read something, YOU LISTEN TO ME. ROB KNOWS BEST.
Now let’s read about actors Vin Diesel and Karl Urban fucking each other after making Chronicles of Riddick.

“What er you doing?” he finally uttered, the words trudging out in a shattered breath.

Vin’s hands kept sliding up Karl’s thighs but they avoided the tempting
bulge and came to rest on his waist instead. Two large thumbs slipped
into belt loops, securing them tightly. Karl wasn’t going anywhere, it

“Just tell me you don’t want this and I’ll stop…” Vin said in a gravelly voice as he gently nuzzled the nape of Karl’s neck.

Karl shivered from head to toe. Unbeknownst to himself, he had been
holding his breath as Vin spoke. He let it out in shuddering gasps,
fully aware that his body was betraying him while his mind was
foolishly trying to fight it. His gaze slowly swooped down to his groin
again, where Vin’s fingers were now skimming his growing erection. He
inhaled deeply, knowing this was a losing battle.

When did he start lusting after Vin? He wasn’t even sure. It probably
happened the very first time he watched him striding across the
Necropolis set wearing that form-fitting black singlet that covered a
set of perfectly sculpted pectorals and rock-solid abs. And on top of
being blessed with a fantastic body, the man had a presence that simply
couldn’t be ignored. Karl never had the balls to act on his attraction,
though. How was he supposed to know that Vin felt the same way he did
anyway? It’s not like the man had been walking around with a sign
plastered on his forehead saying: “Hi, my name’s Vin and I like cock“. Come to think of it, it would have made things a lot easier…

But tonight it looked as if their normally very casual camaraderie was finally going to turn into something else entirely.

“I don’t want you to stop…” Karl rasped as he grabbed Vin’s hand and
pressed it over his cock. A surge of heat flashed through his loins as
skilled fingers began to knead his balls and stroked his swelling shaft.

Sounds like Vin Diesel’s going to put the dick in Riddick! Or Karl Urban. Probably both. Let’s see after the jump, shall we?

Vin licked his lips in expectation of the sweet pleasures that lay
ahead. He had been hoping for this for a long time now and he had every
intention of savouring every minute of it even if his own erection was
already on the verge of driving him mad. He grinned and gladly took
hold of the very sizeable handful that was so willingly offered to him,
working it to pure hardness. He pressed his straining erection into
Karl’s ass while he let his free hand roam all over the sinewy abdomen
until it reached the toned chest. Nimble fingers easily wound their way
inside the black shirt where they caressed a sensitive nipple and
tweaked it tauntingly.

A blissful moan flew from Karl’s lips, his eyes fluttering closed and
his head tipping back on Vin’s shoulder. He hadn’t felt like this in a
long time and had almost forgotten how incredible it could be. Vin
buried his face in the arched neck so invitingly exposed to him and
deeply inhaled the sweet and musky scent that was so unique to Karl.
His mouth devoured the bare expanse of skin and soon after his tongue
was twirling across the outline of Karl’s ear and he nipped lightly at
a tender earlobe. Karl trembled and moaned again, completely
surrendering to the sensual onslaught.

It it weird that our most genuinely sensual FFF story is between two real, heterosexual actors? I think so.

Karl quickly put an end to the futile wavering by seizing Vin’s mouth
in a fierce kiss. One hand reached around the broad, muscular back as
he pulled Vin into a solid embrace and the other forcefully grabbed the
perfectly round and tight ass, grinding the engorged cocks together.

What should have been just a kiss turned out to be far beyond anything
that Vin had experienced before. No one had ever claimed him the way
Karl did at that moment, with such an irrepressible greed. Tongues
tangled, ploughed and explored insatiably until both men had to stop to
get some air back into their lungs.

“Ploughed”? Are they planting seeds in each other’s mouths for th– oh. Never mind. I guess it works out.

Karl grabbed the impressive pair of biceps and determinedly pushed Vin
against the high window. “I wanna taste you…” he hissed. “I wanna feel
your dick down my throat and suck you dry…”

Vin smirked. He definitely liked where this was going and he certainly wasn’t going to argue. “I’m not stoppin’ ya.” he quipped.

“Good…” Karl murmured. He quickly unzipped Vin’s jeans and freed the
stiff cock from its confinement before sliding down on his knees,
pulling the jeans to the floor in the process. He paused momentarily to
admire the magnificent erection jutting so proudly. Yes, he had
to have a taste of this… He nuzzled the curly dark hair at the base and
his lips briefly feathered Vin’s balls as he breathed in Vin’s scent.
Grasping the base with one hand, he let his tongue dance freely along
the prominent vein running all the way up the underside. His lips then
curled around the round head and he took in a mouthful, letting the
entire girth slide down his throat until it couldn’t go any further.
Then his mouth travelled back up again, his tongue swirling around the
shaft while his teeth softly grazed the ridged skin.

While it’s nice that this is consensual sex with no peeing or pooping, I have to say that the idea of the scent of Vin Diesel’s genitalia is probably one of the top 10 most disturbing things I’ve ever read in an FFF. It really, really upsets me.

And then there was just more sucking and more lapping and more tonguing
and more swiping and… fuck! He just couldn’t take it anymore! His head
fell back and his eyes squeezed shut. “Karl…” he panted. “You’ve got to
stop this… It’s too fucking soon…” he begged, feeling his balls
contracting, his release being so close…

But Karl shook his head slightly and produced a negating purr,
stubbornly refusing to acknowledge Vin’s plea. He had every intention
of milking that beautiful cock of all it could give. He increased the
suction and the pace, his mouth clamping Vin’s shaft like a vise while
his hand fisted it mercilessly.

“Urrggghh! Shit!” Vin howled, his orgasm ripping through him with a
staggering intensity as he came hard into Karl’s mouth, filling it with
a load of creamy seed. The Kiwi gladly swallowed the bittersweet
nectar, sucking every drop off the cock tip, and he licked his lips
appreciatively. He then kissed the inside of Vin’s thighs while his
hands were grabbing the firm ass, kneading the hard trembling flesh.
Vin was still shuddering from the aftershocks reverberating through
every nerve in his body and even if Karl was holding on to him he was
uselessly trying to brace himself against the thick glass for fear that
his knees would give out.

Karl got back up on his feet and brought Vin’s naked body against his.
For a while he simply enjoyed the warmth radiating from his lover’s
heated skin and the halting sound of Vin’s heart thumping inside his

“That was quite a tasty treat, mate…” he drawled as he nibbled on the
soft line of Vin’s jaw and laid a sinuous path of kisses down his neck.

Vin squirmed a bit at the feel of rough stubble scratching his skin and
he chuckled. “Maybe so but you sucked me dry like you said you would
and there ain’t gonna be anything left for a while, Kiwi boy. I’m not
old but I ain’t no spring chicken either…”

Karl looked at Vin again and smirked, eyes sparking with a ferocious
gleam. “I beg to differ…” Stepping back, he swiftly unfastened his belt
and got rid of his pants, revealing a superb erection. Then he glanced
sideways, tilting his head towards the surprisingly large piece of
furniture standing a few feet away from them. He smiled wickedly:
“That’s a pretty big couch you got there… Do you think it’s big enough
to give this ferret a nice run?” he asked teasingly as he ran a hand up
and down his length.

Did Karl Urban just refer to his penis as a ferret?

Vin smiled. Ferret or not, that beautifully long cock standing right at
attention was way too much of a temptation to ignore it. How could he?!
He licked his lips in eager anticipation. “Yeah… it sure is…” he
answered as he grasped Karl’s hand and led him to the couch. In no time
the two of them were lying down with Vin on top, his body nicely
blanketing Karl’s.

Karl shifted slightly to one side, allowing enough space to reach
between Vin’s thighs. His voice turned low-pitched and was thick with
lust, his long fingers gently skimming Vin’s softened member: “I want
more of that…” he said as he began to fondle Vin’s cock and rubbed his
own against a large thigh. “I want that big dick slamming up my ass… I
want you to fuck me and fill me till I can’t even remember my name
anymore… How does that sound to you?” There was no quipping or joking
in his tone. There was nothing but blazing hunger and want and need.

Vin felt overwhelmed by the entrancing power of Karl’s desire and he
sensed his own arousal coming back in full force with every firm
stroke. Anything that Karl wanted, he was more than willing to give.
And all he could think about at that point was shoving his cock deep in
Karl’s delectable ass again and again until they would both collapse in
exhaustion and how much he ached to have Karl’s dick buried inside him
and to get fucked till he screamed and how it would start all over
because they just couldn’t get enough of each other and…

“Sounds amazing…” was all he managed to say before capturing Karl’s
mouth into yet another mind-numbing kiss. He didn’t think he could ever
get tired of those scrumptious lips and all the wonderful things that
luscious mouth could do to his body. He didn’t believe that anyone

I might be able to. I’m not sure; I just have a hunch.

“Just quit teasing and get on with it already…” he pleaded almost
angrily, eyes suddenly turning a dark shade of green and pupils rapidly
dilating. He’d never needed another man the way he needed Vin at that
very moment.

Vin leaned in close, his full lips hovering over Karl’s ear, the
whisper of his breath warm on Karl’s skin. “It fuckin’ turns me on when
you go all Vaako on me like that….” he uttered huskily. The soft
rumbling of the deep voice sent a cascade of shivers all the way down
Karl’s spine, kindling the fire that was already burning in his groin.

Okay. I sincerely doubt that vin Diesel and Karl Urban will ever fuck each other senseless in real-life. If they do, or have, that’s fine with me. But I hope to hell that they both have enough goddamn dignity to not refer to their characters in Chronicles of Riddick or Doom during any love-making sessions they might have. That shit is wrong.

“Hold you horses, Kiwi boy…” Vin quietly hushed.

Karl Urban is from New Zealand.

“Christ!… uunghh…” Karl grunted harshly as he writhed under Vin’s
touch, fingers now tightly clutching the soft leather of the sofa.
Vin’s hand was now on his balls, fondling them and circling the
puckered skin below with a tantalizing finger.

Karl’s body arched and his head rolled back, another shuddering groan
passing his lips. As he sank back from the intense rush of pleasure, he
parted his long legs and bent both knees so that Vin could settle
within the cradle of his thighs. Vin then tentatively pushed a slicked
finger between his lover’s cheeks, slowly coaxing the tight ring of
muscle into opening up. Karl whimpered and his hips reflexively bucked
at the painfully exquisite sensation. As soon as he felt him relaxing,
Vin slipped in a second digit and delved deeper as he curled and
twisted both fingers in a back and forth motion. Then a third one went
in, stretching the narrow passage even more. Vin patiently explored the
inner sanctum, seeking that particular place which he knew would send
Karl on the brink of ecstasy.

“Awww, fuck!” Karl howled and his body curved in an upward thrust when
Vin finally reached the sensitive spot. “Need ya… inside… now…” he
slurred, his voice reduced to a bare whimper again.

Vin marvelled at the look of total surrender on the dark-haired
beauty’s face as he was beginning to come undone, hazel eyes glazing
over and kiss-swollen lips parting in a muted sigh. It was one of the
most beautiful things he’d ever seen, one that he didn’t want to
forget. “Sweet…”
he thought as he leaned forward again to kiss Karl avidly. He just
couldn’t get enough of the way the man tasted, of the way Karl’s tongue
plundered through his mouth and possessed it so fully, of how
inebriating it felt…

He lowered his hips until his cock rubbed against Karl’s taut sac,
riding up the stiff member and down to tease the small entrance where
his fingers had been just moments before. Karl moaned again and grabbed
Vin’s ass, tugging him close and eliciting the most enjoyable friction
between them. Vin grunted into the kiss, hips rolling lasciviously to
meet Karl’s every move, bringing mocha and vanilla curves to meld into
one another. He just couldn’t wait any longer. Breaking the embrace and
gasping for air, he gazed at Karl expectantly.

Mocha and vanilla curves? Did Karl Urban just transform into a Starbucks?

Karl’s eyes practically rolled to the back of his head as the fullness
of Vin’s cock filled him entirely. The long forgotten sensation almost
felt alien to him and yet he relished every nuance of it as Vin started
to move inside him, his rhythm deliberate and steady. Vin slid a hand
behind Karl and splayed his palm across the small of his back, holding
his body close as he slowly dove in and pulled out almost completely
before diving in again.

Then suddenly Vin’s cock was gone and so was the rest of his body. Karl
let out a wistful sob, flinching at the sudden emptiness. Vin caught
the expression on his face and smiled reassuringly. “Don’t worry…
there’s more where that came from, believe me…” he said as he rose and
sat on the back of his heels. He hauled Karl’s legs up on his thighs
before entering him again. Wasting no time, he rammed in furiously,
relentlessly. For a long while the only sound rising above the soft
music was that of balls slapping loudly against ass and a slew of
animalistic groans and grunts.

You have to credit author Lady Vaako for one thing — she knows exactly how she wants Vin Diesel to fuck Karl Urban, right down to leg position. This is not an off-the-cuff fantasy; she has this shit mapped out. When Vin Diesel and Karl Urban eventually go missing, I have no doubt we’ll find them in Lady Vaako’s house, acting this story out sentence for setence at gun point.

Even if he thought he couldn’t possibly come again so fast, Vin soon
felt his own release pressing inside his balls and he knew he wouldn’t
be able to hold out much longer. Never breaking the rhythm, he bent
down and his hand closed snugly around Karl’s shaft, pumping it just as
forcefully as he was thrusting inside the hot core. Finding the right
angle, his cock rubbed against the soft prostate repeatedly, causing
Karl to writhe and squirm and thrash and sputter a string of garbled

“So close… so damn close…” Vin rasped, ebony eyes staring ardently into
Karl’s and searing with an unbridled passion. “…want you there with me,

“Fuckin’ hell!” Karl finally shouted, his hips rising sharply into
Vin’s hand and pushing forward to meet one final powerful thrust, his
eyes focused where his body seemed to merge with his lover’s. “… gonna…
come… urrgghh!!” With a throaty growl breaking through clenched teeth,
Karl’s body tensed and his head snapped back as long spurts of warm
come spilled onto his chest and over Vin’s hand.

The spastic squeezing of the inner walls around his aching cock was all
it took to send Vin over the edge. A drawn-out, strangled groan
ascended from his chest and he came hard and deep, a shattering tremor
uncoiling in his belly and coursing all the way across his back.

And meanwhile, a melancholy Paul Walker masturbates alone in a hotel room.

Trying to catch his breath and feeling every muscle suddenly turning to
mush, Vin carefully lowered himself aslant on Karl’s body as to not
settle his full weight on the smaller man. He gently laid his head near
the curve of Karl’s neck and wrapped an arm around his slender waist
before drawing him closer.

“That was fantastic…” he drawled before he lightly kissed Karl’s sweaty temple.

“…mmm… yeah… ’twas …” Karl slurred groggily, his brain still fogged from the mind-blowing orgasm.

For long minutes they both just lay there, enjoying the feel of their
spent bodies huddling together, and listening to each other’s
breathing. Vin was the first one to eventually speak.

“You know what would be really cool?” he asked as one big hand roamed downwards and came to rest on Karl’s shapely ass.

“Tell me…” Karl muttered with heavy-lidded eyes as he was absently stroking Vin’s smooth chest.

“What would be really cool is if someone decided to turn Doom into a
movie and asked you to play Reaper.” He smiled and his face lit up like
a Christmas tree. “That would be awesome!”

Karl slowly opened one eye, then the other, and he blinked a few times.
He was once more amazed at how easily Vin could come up with such
totally off-the-wall ideas sometimes. Little did he know, a script for
a screen adaptation of the game would actually be waiting for him upon
his return home…


Yeah, fuck the rest of this story. You can read it here; as for me, I don’t mind the two actors fucking the holy hell out of each other, but once it turns into how the Doom movie got cast, I’m too disgusted to read any further. Still, I don’t want to leave you without a parting gift.
Karl Urban’s ferret says hi.