The Best G.I. Joe Movie Merchandise Ever

liquid artillery straws.jpg

What you’re looking at are four Slurpee straws promoting the G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra movie. Now, I know other movies have done this exact same promotion before, so I really can’t say that Paramount and Hasbro are trying to subtly get the general populace ready for the movie to suck. (Straws? Sucking? Get it? Hee hee hee!) But, if you examine the straws closely, you’ll see that the straws might be more indicative of the movie than you’d think. Notice the characters include Snake Eyes, Duke, Storm Shadow and the Baroness. Well, please take a closer look at these magnificent toys:

liquid artillery straws close-up.jpg

Yes. Unless the movie itself somehow rocks my world, I believe this image will be the entirety of my G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra review.