World’s Finest, Not at Their Finest

This is one of those stories that I think my words never really suffice for, so here’s the NY Post:

Superman and Batman took on New York’s Finest last night in an epic
Crossroads of the World battle that left the Caped Crusader in cuffs.

Stunned Times Square tourists and office workers watched agog as
cops struggled to subdue Clark Kent’s alter ego without kryptonite.

“The Man of Steel didn’t go down with just two officers, it took
seven officers!” witness Ryan McCormick said. “He was putting up a good
fight. Little kids were like, ‘Mommy, it’s Superman!’ ”

If that wasn’t weird enough, McCormick turned and saw the Dark Knight handcuffed to a chair like a common villain.

“As this was happening, someone is like, ‘It’s Batman!’ I turn around and there’s Batman in handcuffs,” he said.

Superman, aka Maksim Katsnelson, 23, of The Bronx, was arrested and
charged with assault and resisting arrested, police said, accusing him
of punching a female officer in the face while she was trying to subdue
him.

The incident occurred when cops approached Katsnelson, who was panhandling, and asked him for ID.

When Katsnelson said he didn’t have any ID, cops continued to ask him questions, sources said.

That’s when Katsnelson punched the female officer, sources said.

“He freaked out and punched the girl cop in the face,” Batman said later.

Cops cuffed Batman, actually Frank Frisoli, but let him go because he didn’t cause any problems, he told The Post.

The Maine resident, who has been visiting the city for two weeks, said the two had dressed up as the super heroes for laughs.

“We were just having a good time,” Frisoli said.

Their comic-book adventure went awry when cops approached the
dynamic duo on 43rd Street to see whether they had the required license
to perform in costume in public, Frisoli said.

When they said no, cops asked for IDs. Again, they answered no, which prompted cops to handcuff Batman.

That’s when Superman took off, screaming, “I’m not getting arrested.”

But a crowd of police took him down and brought him to a special Fortress of Solitude — the Midtown South station house.

And thus we have irrefutable proof that Superman is a bigger dick than Batman. Thanks to Tabloid Prodigy for the tip.