TR Contest: Most Shameful Toy or Collectible


?Let’s not pretend here — you have one. I have one. We’ve all bought something incredibly nerdy that we feel necessary to keep hidden from our families, the opposite sex, and whoever we still want to respect us. Is it an anime girl figure with squishable breasts? An enormous bust of some nth-tier Lord of the Rings character you can’t possibly explain your affection for? Is it a sparkly dildo, meant to allow you to imagine that you’re having sex with a dead teenager?

Here, I’ll fess up — I once bought Toy Biz’s Lara Croft Tomb Raider action figure back in the ’90s. This would be embarrassing enough, because they just re-used the body from some wacky X-Men Jubliee figure (Robot Fighters, maybe?) and the end result is one of the most horrible looking toys ever made — which is saying something for the ’90s. But my real shame? I bought two. One to keep in package. Because I thought it was going to be collectible. As if, in 10 years, someone was going to pay me a great deal of money for a horrible, pig-faced hunk of plastic claiming to be Lara Croft. I’m pretty sure after about five years I donated it to the Salvation Army to make some child sad and uncomfortable.

So name your shame for a chance to win this week’s contest. Don’t be too embarrassed, we’re all nerds here, and the internet is renown for strangers being nice to each other. One entry per person, and the contest ends on Monday the 24th at 12:01am EST. Til then, have a great weekend, and if you live in a large building near any body of water, I highly recommend you keeping the windows closed and locked. You never know when a horny giant squid might be stopping by.