What’s Good Enough for the G.I. Joe Movie Isn’t Nearly Good Enough for the G.I. Joe Toys

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Approximately one zillion new G.I. Joe figures were revealed at this past weekend’s JoeCon in Kansas City, and, well… let me put it this way. They are awesome. They are all part of the G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra movie line. However, it’s hard to classify these guys as movie figures because none of this stuff was seen in the movie. For instance, there’s Scarlett with a cool military uniform on. There’s a Ripcord with actual airborne infantry equipment. There’s a Zartan who looks a lot like the original Zartan (up above), complete with an extra head and torso for disguising himself. There’s movie-style figures of classic characters like Recondo and Snow Job. I don’t even know what this awesomeness is. And there’s a ton more, which you should totally check out over at the magnificent Terror Drome.

But all this awesomeness, to me at least, begs the question — why weren’t these designs used in the movie? Hasbro knows that kids want awesome toys and adults want toys that remind them of the toys they used to own, and they’ve created figures that are pitch-perfect between new and old, and thus appealing to both demographics. How does this not get conveyed to the filmmakers? Why did the movie flip adult fans the bird and just went for the kids who didn’t know anything about G.I. Joe?

I’ve been thinking about this since Transformers 2, honestly. I mean, if the movie is supposed to be based on the franchise — which is a beloved toy line — don’t you think if Hasbro is unwilling to put it on their toys, perhaps it shouldn’t be in the movie (e.g., Devastator’s balls)? That just seems like an obvious decision to me. Look, I know you guys are still sick of me ragging on these two movies, but I had to get that off my chest; you may call me a dick in the comments. But make sure you go check out the new Joe figures, because they really are that awesome.