Jedi Thrown Out of Grocery Store


?Okay. You know how a bunch of people went and made “Jedi” an official religion in England? I never could decide if those guys were just fun-loving nerds or out of their goddamn minds. Happily, that question has been answered for me. From the Daily Mail:

The founder of the Jedi religion inspired by the Star Wars films was
thrown out of a Tesco supermarket for wearing his distinctive brown

Daniel Jones, 23, who has 500,000 followers worldwide, was
told the hood flouted store rules and was ordered to remove it or leave
the supermarket.

As a result Jones, who also goes by the Jedi
name Morda Hehol, claims he has been ‘victimised over his beliefs’ and
left ’emotionally humiliated’ by the supermarket in Bangor, North Wales.

Sorry, Jonesy — you were only humiliated by yourself, when you decided to go out for groceries in your Star Wars costume, and then threw a hissyfit when you weren’t let into a grocery store.

Unlike some people, I have no problem with cosplay — and if you want to dress like a Klingon or something 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, I’m cool with that too. But you are not allowed to be surprised when people make fun of you for it. You either accept the consequence and don’t care, or you don’t do it. You don’t get to act like a big whiny baby when a grocery store won’t let you in — NO MATTER WHAT HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN DID IN THE PREQUELS, BUDDY. THAT’S THE RULES.

Mr Jones, from Holyhead, said his religion dictated that he should
wear the hood in public places and is considering legal action against
the chain.

‘It states in our Jedi doctrination that I can wear headwear. It just covers the back of my head,’ he said.

‘You have a choice of wearing headwear in your home or at work but
you have to wear a cover for your head when you are in public.’

He said he’d gone to the store to buy something to eat during his
lunch-break when staff approached him and ordered him to the checkout
where they explained he would have to remove the offending hood or
leave the store.

‘They said: “Take it off”, and I said “No, its part of my religion.
It’s part of my religious right.” I gave them a Jedi church business

Mr Jones claimed the store manager and staff were
‘unco-operative’ and left him feeling ’emotionally humiliated’ for
making fun of his beliefs.

I want to point out that how Jones’ “religion” started like five years ago, and thus might not carry the cultural currency of, say, Christianity. But really, my biggest problem is that AT NO POINT IN STAR WARS DOES IT SAY JEDI HAVE TO COVER THEIR HEAD IN PUBLIC. IN FACT, THIS IS SHOWN TO BE PATENTLY UNTRUE IN ALL SIX STAR WARS MOVIES.

Dude, if you’re going to make up a goofy ass religion based on a series of popular science fiction films, and then believe it to the point where you’re ostracizing yourself from normal society, AT LEAST GET THE FUCKING TENETS RIGHT. JESUS. Yoda would have kicked your crazy ass right out of Padawan school, you moron.

You want to know the best part? After Jones complained like a baby about his “emotional humiliation,” listen to what a Tesco representative said:

‘He hasn’t been banned. Jedis are very
welcome to shop in our stores although we would ask them to remove
their hoods.

‘Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda and Luke Skywalker all
appeared hoodless without ever going over to the Dark Side and we are
only aware of the Emperor as one who never removed his hood.

‘If Jedi walk around our stores with their hoods on, they’ll miss lots of special offers.’