As you may know, the original Masters of the Universe Mer-Man figure — in addition to looking nothing like he did on his card back — came with a sword that looked not even slightly unlike an ear of corn attached to a handle. Frankly, there’s actual corn that looks less like corn that the sword does. At any rate, some fabulous soul penned a soulful ballad to Mer-Man’s sword, which frequent TR contributor Jason “Poe Ghostal” Clarke found while googling the phrase “corn sword,” which is possibly both the bravest and stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of. Enjoy, my friends. Enjoy.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.