Anime, Movies

Astro Boy Movie Arrives in Japan, And…

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Hee hee hee. Hee hee! Oh, this was so obvious, but my hatred for the American-mandated, crappy CG Astro Boy knows no bounds, so this is just delightful. From the lovely Gia at AnimeVice:

In fact, the film, made by Hong Kong’s Imagi Entertainment, outright bombed in Japan this weekend,
pulling in a mere $328,457 USD across 200 screens. It didn’t even make
it onto the top ten list for the weekend, where Time Traveler’s Wife,
Kaiji, the Happy Science animated flick The Rebirth of Buddha, and Fast
& Furious reside. Not good!

NO, NOT GOOD AT ALL. PERHAPS YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TAKEN JAPAN’S MOST BELOVED CHARACTER AND STUCK HIM IN A SHITTY CG MOVIE WITH VIRTUALLY NO REGARD FOR HIS ORIGINAL STORIES, WHICH MOST OF JAPAN KNOWS BY HEART. AND PERHAPS YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE CAST NIC CAGE AS A VOICE ACTOR, BECAUSE THAT’S LIKE HIRING CHARLES MANSON AS A BABYSITTER. NEITHER OF THEM HAVE THE APPROPRIATE SKILL SETS. Seriously, Astro Boy is so popular in Japan that he’s an official citizen — really. So if you make an Astro Boy movie which can’t beat Fast & Furious in Japan, you have failed beyond all measure. Well fucking done, assholes. Well fucking done.

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Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.