Miscellaneous, Video Games

TR Contest: Worst Videogame Power-Up

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?It’s time for a more traditional TR contest, one that requires you to use your vast wealth of nerdy knowledge instead of just admitting the shamefully nerdy things you’ve done (which is fun, but harder to think of). This week’s contest — Shittiest Videogame Power-Up. You know what I’m talking about. Whether it’s in a little box you accidentally collect or a level up bonus that provides no benefit whatsoever, videogames are litered with ’em, because game programmers run out of ideas just like I do (cough).

My vote? The Mario Kart fake item box, or whatever it’s called. Has anyone sober ever been fooled by this? Not me, although I rarely play Mario Kart sober. It’s got a fucking upside-down question mark in the middle of it — it’s not that hard to spot. And since the game only has real items boxes in certain places in carefully spaced out rows, it’s nigh impossible to actually hide these things. Your best bet is to wait until someone’s behind you and drop it — a function are performed by the banana. Fucking fake item boxes.

All console and PC games are fair play, as is any power/item/bonus that you don’t start the game with but have to find/earn/run over and grab. One entry per person, and the contest ends on October 12th at 12:01 am EST. He/she who names the shittiest power-up will win the shirt and a free, lifetime supply of nanaporbes. Have a great weekend!

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.