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Everybody Loves Avatar (Mostly)


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?I’ve spent a fair amount of time on Topless Robot making fun of James Cameron’s Avatar for the past few months. I’ve had to explain myself countless times, particularly that I don’t pre-hate the movie, that I do think James Cameron at least deserves the benefits of a viewing, and so forth. But just because I believe that doesn’t mean the Na’Vi don’t look like anthropomorphic blue Garfield stuffed toys, though. So when I say that James Cameron’s Avatar is getting some really good reviews, this isn’t me trying to be fair, it’s because I think it’s genuinely newsworthy.

Right now the film, which opens on Friday, has a not insubstantial 84% on Rotten Tomatoes. More impressively, Roger Ebert — who I by no means always agree with, but his reviews have to be noted — gave the film a rare four stars. Overwhelmingly, those who praise the movie praise its visual spectacle; if they criticize the movie, it’s because of its lackluster storytelling, although for most critics, the spectacle makes up for the story.

This makes sense to me. We could get one half of that from the trailers and various Avatar promotions shoved down our throats over the last six months, and even if you had a 60-inch HDTV, it wasn’t the visual wonder. That shit is wholly dependent on 3-D enabled movie theaters, so of course we couldn’t know how good the movie looks. But we could learn about the plot of the movie and see what incredible world Cameron imagined… and they looked kind of crap. It’s worth noting this is exactly what Cameron’s Titanic was — an incredible cinematic experience tied around an incredibly crappy, mediocre love story. The fact that Avatar should be the same thing to 10th power should surprise no one.

Look, people who get mad at me for ragging on movies based entirely on their trailers and previews (cough Robin Hood cough) — that’s what trailers and previews are for. They’re made so you can see what a movie’s like, and hopefully, make you want to see it. Bottom line, there’s nothing in any of the Avatar promos that have ever made me want to see it — although, as discussed, the movie’s biggest draw is something that can’t be portrayed over a 30-second TV commercial.

My only question is if the visual spectacle will outweigh the crappy story for me, personally. I know I’m very much a story kind of guy, and am willing to sit through some pretty shitty visuals for a plot I think is good (i.e., Final Fantasy VII). Right now, my guess is I probably won’t like the movie, but I’ve decided nothing. It’s just what seems to be the likely outcome based on the information I have. But don’t freak out — many other people love the movie, Roger Ebert included. My mean-spirited rants on Topless Robot are not going to make or break Avatar. Just… just chill. And if you think a preview looks good when I think it doesn’t, that’s fine. Your opinion is just as valid as mine is. The only difference is that this is my fucking blog, so my opinion gets to go up top.

Okay, rant over. I’m not sure when I’m going to actually get to see Avatar, so goodness only knows when my review will go up. I’ll try for it by Wednesday the 23rd — sorry if anyone is desperately waiting for my seal of approval before going to see it.