?To all you poor, sick bastards who consider yourselves FFF enthusiasts — you are in luck. I have an embarrassment of fan fic riches that will tide you over and skullfuck your brain until at least March. We might be entering a golden age of FFFs that you make laugh, learn, love, vomit and then weep for the human race. But to truly soar, you must first reach the bottom — and that’s exactly what this Care Bears FFF is. The dark, dismal bottom, full of discarded trash and refuse and awfulness and perversity. Welcome to author Fuzzy-Lover’s story of a Care Bear Cousin who cares too much, in the worst way possible.
It was about noon that day when Grams Bear pulled up to the agreed
spot in the Forest of Feelings in her cloud-mobile. Letting the cubs
out, she waved goodbye to Loyal-Heart and kissed Baby Hugs and Tugs
goodbye. Then, she turned up the radio in the cloud-mobile, and hit the
gas, leaving an astonished group of picnickers in her wake.
Baby Hugs looked at Baby Tugs with a questioning expression, and
comment”I d”I didn’t know Grams like Rock’n’Roll!” That made
Loyal-Heart laugh pretty hard. The combination of Hug’s and Tug’s
expressions and Hug’s words was simply priceless.
Lunch was uneventful for the three picnickers, and soon they all
finished eating. The cubs began to feel sleepy, so Loyal-Heart put them
down for a nap. Before he did that, though, there was one challenge he
had to overcome. Well, two challenges, actually…
“So, either of you guys know how to change a diaper?” asked Loyal-Heart. The cubs just looked up at him and smiled, giggling.
We’ve featured a terrifying amount of pedobeastiality here at FFF (although admittedly I find even a single story terrifying) but this might be the first infantiphile-beastiality FFF. I can only pray that it is also the last.
?Just in case you’re not up on your Care Bears, the Care Bear Cubs Hugs and Tugs are there on the right. I’d hate for you to be unable to see the story unfold in your head.
“Well, Loyal-Heart, you just change our diaper, I guess,” said Baby Tugs. “I’ve never really thought about it before,” he added.
“Don’t you pay any attention to anything, Tugs? Grams always starts
by undoing the knots at the side, or by pulling the tabs. Then she
cleans us up and puts a new diapie on us,” she explained.
“Oh, OK,” said Loyal-Heart. “Umm…just a quick question, you two, uh…are you guys wet or umm…you know,”
“What do you mean, Loyal-Heart?” the twins asked in unison.
“Are your diapers messy?” he replied.
“Not mine,” they each said, smiling.
“OK, then, let’s see…” And so Loyal-Heart learned how to change his first diaper.
If they haven’t soiled their diapers, why is Loyal-Heart changing them?
He started with Hugs, as she was closest to him. He set her down on
her back on the soft forest floor, and smiled at her. Loyal Heart gave
her a quick lick on the snout, which made her giggle softly, before
turning his attention to her lower parts. Getting Hugs’ diaper off was
easy, but cleaning her up was a bit of a challenge. Her baby-bear’s
pussy area was one of the few fur-free areas of her body, but pee still
got caught in the hair around it, so he had to make sure to clean her
Suggestion: Someone should develop a program that searches the internet for phrases like “baby-bear’s pussy area,” figures out who wrote it and where they live so a government team can storm in and give the author an involuntary sterilization.
Just as he was cleaning her carefully, though, the most curious
thing began to happen to him. He started to enjoy touching the baby
bear’s little pussy, and even began to get aroused sexually. He could
feel his doggy cock stirring inside his sheath, and the scent of Hugs’
cunny was driving him wild.
I’m skipping right to the head exploding. We’re already way past face-melting.
Loyal-Heart was somewhat freaked out by this new feeling for the
cubs. He started to wipe Hugs off faster, and when he was done, he
quickly put a new diaper on her. That help stifle the smell of her
baby-bear cunt a bit, but he was a dog, after all, and had an excellent
sense of smell.
Of course he has an excellent sense of smell. You can’t forego realism in your story of a Care Bear molesting two infant Care Bears. That would be wrong.
Hugs was a bit baffled by Loyal-Heart’s behaviour; she had never
seen a diaper applied to her bottom so quickly before. And what was
that thing poking out of Loyal-Heart’s tummy?
Yeah, what is that thing? If Loyal-Heart’s penis is coming out of his stomach, then we have another to add to his list of severe sexual problems.
Quickly, Loyal-Heart moved onwards to Tugs. The horny dog nearly
ripped Tugs’ diaper off his butt, quickly wiped him off, and put a new
one on the baby boy. It wasn’t so bad, this time, as Tugs’ cock hadn’t
come out of his sheath to taunt Loyal-Heart and remind him of sex,
Gradually, Loyal-Heart’s throbbing cock subsided, having never really left its sheath. “Close call!” thought the dog.
If you think this is the end of the story, you’re obviously new to FFF. If you want to quit reading, set fire to computer and then throw it out your window, now would be the time to do it.
Finally, it was time for the cubs’ nap-time, and Loyal Heart put
them down to sleep. As soon as they were asleep, Loyal-Heart made sure
by whispering their names, and when neither cub stirred, he sat back
against a log and sighed, trying desperately to make sense of his
“This is stupid. I can’t want a bear cub! Not only are they
childrenps ops of my friends, but they’re not even of my own species!
What should I do?” But eventually, as hormones have a way of doing, Loyal-Heart’s mind turned to what he could do. Slowly, a desire, a fantasy, rose in Loyal-Heart’s mind…and in other places…from deep inside him.
You’re not concerned about the fact they’re goddamn babies, Loyal-Heart? Babies in diapers? Shouldn’t that at least get a mention in your list of concerns?
“Well, maybe it’s OK to just fantasize, maybe have a little fun by myself. As long as I don’t let anyone know…” he thought to himself, horny as ever.
It’s not, Loyal-Heart. It’s not okay at all, even if you’re a fictional character.
Slowly, his doggy cock began rising up from inside him. It stirred
inside his cock-sheath, and poked out of his belly. He touched it,
shivering with illicit pleasure as a wave of sensation washed over his
As his dog-hood rose to its full pink, glistening, veined, throbbing
glory, he wrapped a paw around its circumference and began to stroke
himself. Loyal-Heart closed his eyes shut and softly let out a low,
sensuous howl as he masturbated.
Normally, I’d find the author making up a word like “dog-hood” to be an unpardonable crime, but I happen to have read the rest of the story, and it’s not even worth mentioning. Again, if you’re feeling queasy already, pull a Fellowship and fly, you fools.
Unbeknownst to the babysitter, however, the baby-sit-ees were
not as asleep as he had thought them to be. Hugs and Tugs had awoken
and were now quietly watching Loyal-Heart stroke his rock-hard cock
only a few metres away. They stayed that way for several moments, just
staring, until the dog’s knot began to swell.
Hugs gave a huge gasp when she saw Loyal-Heart’s cock grow even more
than it already had before, and it was then that the subject of the
cubs’ study opened his eyes just as wide as Hugs’ and Tugs’ were
Loyal-Heart quickly flipped over onto his stomach and stayed there,
just laying in the dirt, looking at them. “How long have you been
watching me?” he asked softly.
“N-not l-l-long…” stuttered Tugs. The poor cub was confused at this new appendage his friend seemed to have.
Hugs, on the other hand, was more interested in finding out what the heck that thing sticking out of Loyal-Heart’s tummy was.
“What’s that thing you have there, Loyal-Heart? Is that a new toy or
something?” she asked, eagerly curious. She smiled tentatively at him.
“Can we play with it, too?”
Is there a Chris Hansen bear? Because we need one, stat.
A slow smile crept over Loyal-Heart’s face as he looked at the twin
cubs. A plan had begun to form in his mind, one which he fully intended
to put into motion that very moment.
“If you promise not to tell anyone about this toy, you can play with
it. And I can show you some other neat things, if you want,” he said as
he stood again, his member swelling up again after its brief period of
“This, my dear cubs, is called a penis. Most people just call it a
cock. Every male cub or bear has one, but most of the time it’s inside
of him,” he explained. Then, while they were still in awe of it, he
said “Would you like to touch it?”
“Boy, yeah!” both cubs said in unison, and the two came over near
Loyal-Heart and his massive (to them) boner. In reality it was only
about 4 1/2 inches long, without the knot, but to the baby cubs, it
Hugs was the first to reach the cock, and she eagerly grabbed onto
it with her paws. She stroked it this way and that, getting a feel for
it, but really not doing anything with it.
Loyal-Heart, despite the improper handling of his cock-meat, was in
heaven. The feeling of those tiny paws moving on his cock was driving
him insane with the urge to mate something, anything.
You know what sucks? I think if I posted a picture of a kitten or a puppy, it would just make us all feel worse.
Tugs was next in line to feel up Loyal-Heart’s cock, and he did so
with equal parts curiosity and enjoyment. In fact, Tugs was so absorbed
by Loyal-Heart’s dog-hood, he didn’t see or feel the paw near the back
of his head until it was too late.
Loyal-Heart gently placed his paws on the back of Tugs’ head and
said “Tugs, can you do something for me, as…a part of the game?” When
Tugs nodded, still partially absorbed with touching this new toy,
Loyal-Heart continued. “I want you to put your mouth on my cock, OK,
can you do that for me? All right, come on…” Loyal-Heart gently pulled
Tugs head closer to his throbbing cock.
When Tugs’ lips made contact with Loyal-Hearts shaft, the knot began
to swell up near the base, pushing the rest of the cock up and into
Tugs’ mouth. Loyal-Heart gave a moan as his meat slowly began to fill
Tugs’ baby mouth while the cub’s twin sister watched from the
Loyal-Heart reached a paw down to where Tugs’ little diapered butt
was, and fondled the baby’s ass. The diaper rustled softly as
Loyal-Heart massaged the plastic, getting him even more aroused.
Seriously, folks. Tell me any situation in which someone who writes “fondled the baby’s ass” wouldn’t deserve sterilization. And a beating. A severe beating.
By this time, the dog’s member has slowed its growth, and was now
three inches inside Tugs’ mouth. Loyal-Heart looked at the little
baby’s face impaled on his hot cock, and said “Okay, good job, Tugs.
Now, lets see if you can move your head up and down on my cock, OK?
Just move it up and down, and suck on it. Yeah, suck my cock. Like
that, yeah.” Loyal-Heart was enjoying talking dirty to this little
baby-boy-bear as got his cock sucked.
With one paw on Tugs’ furry head, and the other on Tugs’ diapered
bum, Loyal-Heart guided Tugs’ first blow-job verbally and physically,
talking dirty in between directions.
To repeat: A CARE BEAR COUSIN IS TALKING DIRTY TO A BABY WHILE THE BABY GIVES HIM A BLOW JOB. EVIL FLYING JESUS, PLEASE TAKE US
“Yeah, you’re a little cock-sucker aren’t you? Yeah, like that, suck
it like that boy. Good, good, oh…oh gosh!” Loyal-heart could feel that
familiar feeling of cum rising in his cock, and tried to warn Tugs.
“Tugs, umm…buddy…there’s gonna be some…umm…milk coming out of my cock in a little bit. Could you…oh!…swallow…yeah!”
Tugs simply couldn’t respond, his mouth was so full of cock. So
instead, the baby bear hummed out a response “Mmm-hmm,” which of course
drove Loyal-Heart over the top.
Loyal-Heart simply couldn’t help himself, and began cumming his
doggy cum into little baby Tugs’ mouth.
Stars shot in front of
Loyal-Heart’s eyes as he came into his ward’s baby mouth. Tugs eagerly
drank all of Loyal-Heart’s ‘milk,’ and by the time the horny pooch was
done spilling his spunk into the little cub, he could feel Tugs still
going at his cock, sucking like a one would a straw, just to get all
his dog cum out of him.
Loyal-Heart sighed with satisfaction as he lay back down onto the
grass with Tugs. Tugs looked up at him and smiled, licking his lips.
“That was so fun, Loyal-Heart! You know such cool things!” said little Tugs.
“Wow. Thanks, Tugs. I really enjoyed that!”
A moment later, the two heard a voice. “Hey how come I didn’t
get to play like that?!” inquired and indignant Hugs. Loyal-Heart felt
himself blushing. He had forgotten, in his lust to mate, all about
little baby Hugs. And if she wanted a turn on his cock, well, it would
take a while before he could cum again. Just because he was a dog,
didn’t mean he was any more durable than human men.
Suddenly, an idea formed in his head, and he smiled, “Hugs, I’ve got
something even better to show you…Why don’t you come over here…”
In the smallest of mercies, Fuzzy-Lover has not completed the next chapter, despite his promise to do so before Christmas. If you wish to read the story — there’s a whole chapter 1 I skipped — you may do so here, although I can’t imagine any of you will do so. I promise the next few FFFs will have at least a few laughs in them — if you can ever manage to laugh again.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.