Okay. I have two confessions to make. They’re big, so you might need to sit down.
1) I’m starting not to be terrifyingly obsessed with Final Fantasy XIII. I know, it’s fucked up. But none of the videos have been that exciting to me since that initial trailer about a jillion years ago. I mean, I’m still going to buy it and I’m still looking forward to playing it, but I’m just not salivating over it the way I have over previous FF games. I don’t know if this is because the actual FFXIII videos are boring or because we’ve had a rash of such awesome game videos recently for me to compare them to — probably a bit of both.
2) If you’re not a borderline insane Final Fantasy fan, this new video — which shows off some new clips, the English voices, and the horribly lame love song from the game (by the horribly lame Avatar love song girl) — has to be terrible, right? The fact that I can even perceive this is a clear sign that my adoration of FF isn’t quite so absolute. I mean, I have a pretty high capacity for androgynous videogame characters talking about seeing bland mysterious females in fields, but come on, Square Enix, help a brother out.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.