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Super Terrific Japanese Thing: Matrimonial Bra



Look, I don’t think I can properly explain this. I mean, I can describe what it is, but you’re going to have many questions, and I don’t think I have any of the answers.

This is a wedding countdown bra. Basically, it’s a bra with a terrifying countdown clock, which counts down until something — possibly until the age of 28, which is the average age Japanese women get married (although I don’t know that for sure). The countdown only stops when an engagement ring is inserted into it, which the bra celebrates by triumphantly playing the “Wedding March.” If the video is correct, the bra comes with a matching lower half, which has two large hearts which — and again, I’m guessing here — double at oven mitts. Which is incredibly sexist, but if you’re a woman wearing a marriage countdown bra, you probably don’t give a shit.

Guys, I don’t know. I don’t know who would buy this or why or for who. I don’t know if any ring would technically work. I especially don’t know what happens when the countdown reaches zero, but I assume either it makes the wearer’s bust double in size, you know, to help things out, or it just explodes.Thanks to John for the tip.