Dolph Lundgren: Greatest Man Alive
I… I have no words for this video. It was sent to me by GalvaTRION, and it apparently from a Sweidhs show/event called the Melodifestivalen held last week. After a minute of Swedish people talking to each other in the dark, this video contains more awesome insanity and insane awesomeness than I have ever witnessed before in my entire life. After bursting out with a torch, here is what Dolph Lundgren does in this video:
? Sings an Elvis song
? Dances
? Plays an awesome drum solo
? Breaks several wooden boards
? Breaks several blocks of ice… with one chop
? Returns to finish the song
? Has sex with all eight of his female back-up dancers, at once, and satisfies them all (I assume this happens immediately after they exit the stage)
And he does all of this in a tuxedo. You know, I’ve often wondered what the platonic ideal of awesomeness would be — the most perfect representation of awesomeness that all other awesomeness is but a reflection of. I am wondering no longer.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.