Because really, “agility” probably wouldn’t be the deciding factor in a fight between Magneto, Mystique and Doctor Octopus. This commercial comes to us from the UK newspaper Daily Record, which is giving away free “Top Trumps” cards for the next few weeks; you’ll be shocked to know I did the minimum amount of research and discovered “Top Trumps” is just war, but nerdier — you name your attribute, put down your card and if you have the highest number in that stat, you win. It sounds horrible. Look, most 5-year-olds can figure out the complexities of Yu-Gi-Oh, meaning this is for… slow 3-year-olds? Barnyard animals? Jeph Loeb? I dunno. Thanks to whoever sent this to me (you forgot to send your name!).
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.