This Man Loves Three Things: Bowler Hats, Smurfs, and Beard Maintenance
I… I don’t know why this video disturbs me so terribly. Technically, it’s just a video from the ’70s by some Belgian dude awesomely named Vader Abraham, singing about Smurfs in no officially approved capacity. Nothing really happens other than Vader Abraham and some Smurf puppets “la-la-ing” happily for three minutes. But something… something about this just hurts me, because it feels so, so evil. Maybe it’s the soulless, rubbery Smurf puppets. Maybe it’s the hellish background of flickering lights. Maybe it’s the slow, loving pan over the plastic Smurf figurines, less like a toy collection, and more like a serial killer collects mementos of his victims. Or maybe it’s the way old Abraham holds the tiny flute so the horrible Smurf puppet can wrap its thin, rubbery lips around it and blow.
All I know is that this performance feels very much like it was practiced in a basement in front of someone chained to a wall. And/or that as soon as the song was over, the Smurf puppets slowly turned and began helping ol’ Vader disrobe. (Via I Heart Chaos)
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.