This Man Loves Three Things: Bowler Hats, Smurfs, and Beard Maintenance

I… I don’t know why this video disturbs me so terribly. Technically, it’s just a video from the ’70s by some Belgian dude awesomely named Vader Abraham, singing about Smurfs in no officially approved capacity. Nothing really happens other than Vader Abraham and some Smurf puppets “la-la-ing” happily for three minutes. But something… something about this just hurts me, because it feels so, so evil. Maybe it’s the soulless, rubbery Smurf puppets. Maybe it’s the hellish background of flickering lights. Maybe it’s the slow, loving pan over the plastic Smurf figurines, less like a toy collection, and more like a serial killer collects mementos of his victims. Or maybe it’s the way old Abraham holds the tiny flute so the horrible Smurf puppet can wrap its thin, rubbery lips around it and blow.

All I know is that this performance feels very much like it was practiced in a basement in front of someone chained to a wall. And/or that as soon as the song was over, the Smurf puppets slowly turned and began helping ol’ Vader disrobe. (Via I Heart Chaos)